Unthought Unknown

"There are things that you know, and they're in us, but we just haven't thought of them. But they're there, and we base decisions on them.” Eddie Vedder

When you stop to look and find the beauty in life, often you will find things that you knew to be true, but tried so hard not to believe, are. To discover all the unthought unknowns that are so much a part of each and every one of us, you have to take a step back from the crazy, busy world we live in. A step back from the planners filled with fun events, parties and obligations.

An example of unknown unthought could be if you're part of a book club. You all read the same book as the others in the group and have your own interpretations, but then as you come together as a group and express your thoughts on the book, lessons that really grabbed you, you often get an even deeper meaning. An unthought unknown interpretation of the book that was deep in your mind, but you didn't think about it until you connected with the others and started to discuss it. Until you used the others in your book club to connect the dots. If you would not have read the book at that time in your life, with the book group, those exact people, and shared your interpretation of the book, you would have never tied your life experiences together.

An unthought unknown for me was to feel God's love. Actually feel the warmth that He provides when you let Him into your heart.

I have always believed in God, always believed that Jesus died for our sins, but it wasn't until recently that I actually felt His love. The first time that I allowed myself to feel Him surround me with love. This feeling is addicting. I have heard people refer to this as "God is holding their hand" in times of need, or that He is "walking beside you or with you". My favorite stamp in my stamp collection that is currently collecting dust is "When you can't trust His hand, you can trust His heart"...yet another way to put it. I have used this stamp over and over again in the last seven years (I bought it when I was making wedding invitations) but have used it time and time again, for all different occasions.

Some people don't believe in fate or predetermined destiny, but if one believes that everything happens for a reason, doesn't one really believe in these things? If you truly believe in God; have faith, hope and love for the One above, don't you in turn believe in this predetermined destiny or fate? That God puts you in places and situations, at the exact time in your life, in order to best serve Him?

In order to survive in life, I have decided, made a conscious decision, to place all of my faith in God; believe that He puts me in places and situations, at the exact time, exact place to better serve Him. While I have a strong belief that He has a "master plan", I also understand that we make our own choices. That we make them with these unthought unknown thoughts factored in. That often we make choices that sometimes require forgiveness, but that He forgives us because we are His children.

Please make sure that you are strong enough when you decide to face whatever obstacle you are wanting to tackle before you attempt the feat. Often our mind protects us from things we are not ready to discover. The unthought unknowns that are there, but we are not yet ready to face. For example when I went to the funeral home for the first time, my mind didn't allow me to feel, well really anything. I was just there existing, a shell of me.

Recently, I have talked to a few of my best friends because I felt close to sinking and my brain is deep. I didn't know if I was ready or able to face the irony or cold, hard truth that is so often found in life. I didn't know if I would be able to get myself back out if I sunk and let my brain go to the widest and the deepest places, to the unknown unthought territory. I told her how I had been feeling and she told me she had no idea. I had put the wall up so many times, that she had no idea that I was struggling. After reflection, I was able to communicate all the ideas, crazy ironic circumstances, things I knew in my heart and form actual thoughts. Thoughts that will serve as my truth in order to survive...I was able to gain some perspective.

Tonight, as I reflect, I feel happy.

Peaceful.
Grateful.
Fulfilled.
Thankful.

Thankful because I discovered that I am strong enough to face the unthought unknowns. Thankful because I find comfort and purpose in the belief that God puts us in places and circumstances to best serve Him. Because of this, I know that I will not drown. Grateful to have reconnected with old friends like Amanda, Lindsay Sarah and others that I needed at this exact moment in time. Fulfilled and finding comfort in the fact that even though I didn't know it when I reached out to them, that I needed them. When I reached out to them, I thought they needed me. The unthought unknown is that we needed each other. Peaceful because, all's well that ends well. Happy because He knew that I could jump and one of two things would happen, He would catch me or I would learn to fly. He caught me, swooped me up into His loving arms...and I'm alright!

To a couple of my dearest friends that were worried for me, I am feeling strong and certain. (I know you were doubting me;))!

Think about the people in your life, connect the dots, think of the many reasons that He has trusted you with each and every person that He brings you in contact with. Think about what you are giving! Maybe they needed you. Maybe you needed them. The truth is, the unthought unknown is, that most likely you needed each other! Everyone has dreams, most of us even dream while we're awake. Our dreams usually include our happiness, keeping the ones we love safe and happy and making the future better for our children. The sooner we all acknowledge that this is a shared dream among most of our peers, the sooner we will have no rivals.

Love the crazy ironies God wants us to see. Take a deep breath and swallow whole the negatives, digest them, learn from them, add your spin. Embrace the shared dreams and choose the right path! The one cut by the moon for you to walk on! Feel His love.

Unthought unknown.

I love PJ!

All the thoughts you never see
You are always thinking
Brain is wide, the brain is deep
Oh, are you sinking?

Feel the path of every day
Which road you taking?
Breathing hard, making hay
Yeah, this is living

Look for love in evidence
That you're worth keeping
Swallowed whole in negatives
It's so sad and sickening

Feel the air up above
Oh, pool of blue sky
Fill the air up with love
All black with starlight

Feel the sky blanket you
With gems and rhinestones!
See the path cut by the moon
For you to walk on

For you to walk on...

Nothing left, nothing left
Nothing there, nothing here...
Nothing left, nothing left
Nothing there, nothing left...
Nothing left, nothing left
Nothing there, nothing here...

See the path cut by the moon
For you to walk on
See the waves on distant shores
Awaiting your arrival

Dream the dreams of other men
You'll be no one's rival
Dream the dreams of others then
You will be no one's rival

You will be no one's rival...

A distant time, a distant space
That's where we're living
A distant time, a distant place
So what ya giving?
What ya giving?