Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Friday's Friendly Fun: NY Resolutions

I think it's important, not just at the end of the year, but periodically throughout the year to evaluate yourself.  Take time to think about areas that are lacking, things you could improve on and ways that you can make yourself healthier and happier. 

Last year I attempted to give up cigarettes for lent and failed after about two weeks.  I'm not really sure why I failed. I was able to not log on facebook and I'm much more addicted to facebook than smoking!  The past week or so I have been thinking of what I need to improve on and it's my health. I'm much happier and less stressed when I workout regularly so I started this week, but more importantly I need to quit smoking.

I have already had a blood clot and I really don't want another one.  Smoking increases my risk of future clots.  It increases my risk of cancer.  It makes my wrinkles appear more quickly.  It makes my breath and clothes smell yucky. 

Last year I wrote out my resolutions and I think it was key in my success of keeping them.  I read my post periodically during the year to remind myself why I wanted to keep the resolutions, why they are important to me and what my plan of attack was. So, I'm going to try it again this year.  I'm going to keep up my resolutions from last year and add quit smoking to the list! I know I CAN do it...I just have to do it.  Almost all of my friends have kicked it successfully and they now think it's disgusting.  I'm going to do it.  My plan of attack is simple-don't do it.  The patch or other quit smoking remedies probably would not help me because I only have a cigarette here and there when I'm drinking beer...so I guess the plan is just going to be not to go in the garage with the few remaining friends that still smoke...that I will attempt to convince to quit with me!

My resolutions last year were good too if you're looking for resolution ideas! http://publiclookin.blogspot.com/2011/01/happy-new-year.html


 Think about how you can improve your mental and physical self and write out some resolutions!!  Good luck!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Dry it up...Or I'll Give You Something to Cry About!

If I had a dime everytime that I heard this during my childhood, I'd be rich! 

If I didn't want to eat cream corn (who does??) and I would start to tear up...DRY IT UP OR I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT!

I wasn't allowed to go on a date until I was sixteen and I had been asked out by this extremely hot, older boy.  I repeatedly asked permission and was denied each time...DRY IT UP OR I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT!

I was 18 and my annoying little brother yelled at the police and managed to get himself taken to the police station...somehow this was entirely my fault and I was GROUNDED home from college.  For two weeks I had to come home on the weekend and stay home with my parents.  I really wanted to go to a party one night, so I asked nicely, batted my eyes, but was still denied.  Crushed, I started to cry...DRY IT UP OR I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT!

You get the idea?  Any disappointment, no matter how big or small, I was given this line.  Get over it!  What is the point of crying about it?  It's not going to change the outcome, so why cry?

As my Dad's birthday approached quickly this year, it was fairly easy for me to contain the tears.  We scurried to wrap presents, visit with all of the people in town from near and far, attend Christmas concerts, send Christmas cards, you know the normal hustle and bustle that comes with the season.   When I started to feel sad, I thought of the one thousand things that needed to be done and I was able to supress/escape the pain.  Today is Christmas Eve, my Dad's birthday.

All of my presents are wrapped.  All of my cards are sent.  I don't have to be anywhere until 6pm except a quick visit to the nursing home.  No obligations, no last minute errands to run, nowhere to escape.  I'll take it as my sign to sit and watch, remember and reflect.

Dear Dad,

In the days leading up to today I thought about going to the cemetary.  Last night I bought balloons for the kids to release so they can tell you Happy Birthday.  I'm going to take them out there for a quick visit this afternoon.  They still ask about you all the time.  They wonder why you can't come back.  They wonder why you can't be here for their birthdays and Christmas and vacations and to read them a book.  They wonder why and how you got cancer.  They worry that I will get cancer or that Daddy or Mimi or Grandma or Grandpa or Papa or Nana or ...some nights they run through a list of everyone they know asking me if they will get cancer.  It's difficult for me to talk about why you had cancer because I think eventually we all get the freaking disease.  Right now I know two little children, not like I heard about them on television, nope, right here in Woodville and Pemberville, that are fighting the dreaded disease! Doug's son-in-law was diagnosed and he's Jake's age.  It's all around me.  But to the children I have to pretend that you are the only one that will get it.  They know that you are not the only person to have it, but certainly you have the only one that will die from it...at least this is what I lead them to believe.  They know Connor and know of Belle (the children with the dreaded c word) and we can't have them thinking anything but happy cure thoughts for their peers!  So far all of their prognosis's look great and I pray that they do not suffer any further setbacks. 

Lilly prays for them often.  Her mind seems to operate like someone you know as your daughter.  She struggles with an issue in her head until she finds the answer or seeks one.  She lays in bed thinking until she finally creeps down the stairs to ask if I signed her reading log or if someone will be there to pick her up from Good News Club.  She never stops thinking.  She still sleeps with Mr. Ugly Bear.  She still gets offended when I call it that;)  She misses you.  I do too.

Camille seems to have less Runion blood in her than the other two children as far as her outward appearance, but the temper...she's right on the mark, Mark Lee!  Her temper can flare instantly and then she apologizes when she calms down...I don't know anyone that acts like this on the Runion side;)  She just can't get enough kisses and cuddles from me, she senses when I'm sad and she hugs me tighter.  Her cheeks have thinned out since you left us and she has lost all of her baby fat.  You would just eat her up.  She's consumed with trying to be "cool" right now...it's an insult to her if I call her cute. 

Keegan is the most bullheaded out of the three.  He simply will NOT give up if he sets his mind on something.  Last night he woke up and used the bathroom.  He decided he wanted a drink and I told him "no, go back to bed."  Cried and cried and cried...until I finally brought him a drink.  Unbelievable!  He is so stinkin' cute though I don't stay mad for long.  He's super skinny too, but he still has chubby cheeks...Mom has trained him that one is my cheek and one is hers for kissing;)

I don't get out the pictures of you often enough for them.  It's still too hard for me to look at them most of the time.  They all ask about you all the time.  When I walked in with balloons they were so excited.  I told them that they were for you and Keegan excitedely asked "is he coming back!!???"  I told him, no, we're going to send them to heaven.  He is sending you a black one since it's his favorite color.  Camille's is purple and Lilly's is green.

They let me sleep in this morning, but as soon as I woke up I thought of you.  Our Christmas weekend started off with a family dinner you would be proud of.  Aaron is becoming quite the cook these days. Even with the grill starting on fire, the prime rib was yummy and the company was even better.  We all sat at one table and passed everything back and forth...just like we used to at Granny's.  The kids love Uncle Jake and Aunt Laine and it was nice to have them all to ourselves for a visit with mom.

Anyways, just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you.  I hope you like the cards the kids are sending with their balloons!  Now, I'm going to dry it up so you don't give me something to cry about.  I love you and miss you.  I will eat lots of shrimp and monkey tators tonight.  Happy Birthday!

Love,
Laura

PS: I passed Sycamore Grove yesterday after a funeral visitation.  I wish I could go back in time and be a fly on the wall when you guys frequented that place...well Uncle Paul actually said you practically lived there;)


Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Paid in Full

This letter is in response to my post last night: http://publiclookin.blogspot.com/2011/12/with-dawn-of-redeeming-grace.html
Since the response was so long;) and he put so much effort and thought into his words, I thought it deserved it's own post. Thanks for expressing your opinion, Sean.  Sean is a member of Fremont Church of Christ. 

Laura,
I typically do not weigh in on such subjects, but for whatever reason I did not want you to be the “cheese that stands alone.” I may say some things that you don’t necessarily agree with, but in my studies of grace I have concluded many things. Are you ready? I’m about to get long winded.

Several years ago there was an article in the San Diego newspaper about two men who were on trial for armed robbery. An eyewitness took the stand, and the prosecutor got up to begin the questioning. First he asked the eyewitness, “So you were at the scene of the robbery?” The witness said, “Yes.” “And you saw a vehicle leave at a high rate of speed.” The witness said, “Yes.” The prosecutor said, “And did you observe the occupants?” “Yes,” the witness said, “two men.” And then the prosecutor, in a booming prosecutor’s voice said, “And are those two men in this courtroom today?” At this point the defendants sealed their fate – because they both raised their hands.

The truth of the matter is that, so are we if we’re honest. We too are guilty because of sin. We would probably get along far better if we too would just raise our hands and say, “We’re guilty.”

Because we have verses like James chapter 2:10, “10 For whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all.”

That doesn’t sound fair now does it? That happened in the Garden of Eden didn’t it? They only had to sin once to be cast out of the Garden, because God is holy and God cannot sustain sin in his presence. It only takes one sin to make us guilty. So in a sense, all of us can say, “I did it… I’m guilty,” and we need to address that because guilt is a problem for us.
What is guilt? We know what it feels like. We all can say that we have felt it.

Guilt is like the warning light on the dashboard of your car. It is a warning light that something is wrong and needs to be fixed. And this one is important… but what do you do? Do you fix it so that the light goes off, or do you put a piece of tape over the light and act like it just doesn’t exist? Maybe you pull the fuse or you disconnect it.

All you did is cover up the problem, but there is still something wrong with the car. That’s the way guilt is.

God put that guilt there and that is one of the things that separates us from animals. We have a conscience and it pricks us and we typically know when we have done something wrong. God has put a warning light in all of us so that we will do something about it.

But I think that there are two extreme views when it comes to guilt.

There are some people who we will call spiritual sociopaths. They’re religious people… but they don’t have guilt. Jesus dealt with it in the New Testament. He called them the Pharisees. They were trusting in their religion and saying, “We don’t need the Messiah,” and they rejected him. They really didn’t feel guilt, but they should have.

Although we know a few of the Pharisees did. One famous one is Saul of Tarsus. He felt guilt but overall as a group, they opposed and rejected Jesus.

Matthew 23:27-28, “27 "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness.  28 Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.”

That’s one extreme. You don’t feel guilt even though you should.

What a way to be described. “You’re like a tomb… pretty on the outside, but on the inside you’re just full of dead men’s bones. You’re unclean inside, even though you appear to be religious.”

Another extreme are spiritual cripples. This is someone who has been forgiven by God, but cannot forgive themselves. Sometimes churches are that way.

When we come together we shouldn’t be saying, “We’re the only ones going to go to heaven and most of us here aren’t going to make it either.” When visitors come to our churches and hear that and feel that the message is that we’re a bunch of spiritual cripples and there just isn’t any joy, no enthusiasm… who would want it? Who would want to stay and listen to what else we have to say? Not me!

God does not want us to not have any joy of salvation. We need to be somewhere in between that. There should be guilt when we sin and at the same time we need to trust in God’s grace. Through that we will have joy, assurance, and pleasure in our journey knowing that we’re making it. God’s purpose lies between those two extremes.

There are a lot of people who are deceived by their sins. They don’t know how badly they need Jesus Christ. They’re deceived and they don’t feel any personal guilt. Do you know where they are on Sunday?

They’re somewhere engaging in some ungodly activity or maybe they’re just home watching television when really they should be at worship. They should be here worshipping Jesus because that is their ticket to heaven, but they are deceived and they don’t feel any guilt. God wants them to cross from one side to the other becoming aware of their sin and realizing that they really need Jesus and they feel personal guilt.

That makes sense to me. God wants us to be aware that we are sinners realizing that we need a Messiah and we need a savior. We need the anointed one to cleanse us.

But I see good news in all of this. Paul said, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation……...” (Rom 1:16) The Gospel can save us. We can have our sins washed away and not feel legal guilt.

Now… even though you become a Christian and have been forgiven by God, you can still be burdened down by your past mistakes. It causes you to not be joyful or confident of your salvation.

Rather than accepting the forgiveness of Jesus and all that he has washed away, some start thinking, “I remember what I did and I remember how lousy of a person I was. I remember my sin.” Even those these people have been cleansed of their sins, they are still caged by guilt.
Does God want that? No!

Christians without joy are basically useless to the work of God. He wants us to be healed. God forgives us and heals us but many of us have a difficult time feeling like we’re healed. He does not want us to feel personal guilt if our sins have been washed away.

Why? Because we are under “no legal guilt” if he has taken away our sins; however… can people still sin? And if we do then we need to feel some personal guilt because if we do, it will cause us to get ourselves right, repent and ask for forgiveness and remain in relationship with God.

We can still fall away. We can stop our interaction with the church and be out of step with God, but if we are not doing what we are supposed to do we are playing with fire.
How do we know the difference between true guilt and false guilt? Let me give you some tests.

Who forgives easier, God or people? I think that we can all attest that God forgives much easier than we do and I’m pretty happy about that. False guilt can come because we will not forgive one another. So we need to ask ourselves, “Is this guilt that I am feeling coming from God or is it coming from people?” And if a person has repented, we’re not supposed to hold the issue over their head.

In 1 Corinthians chapter 5, Paul tells a story about a Christian man who is living with his father’s wife. And that means exactly what it sounds like.

2 Corinthians 2:6-8 Paul writes, “6 This punishment which was inflicted by the majority is sufficient for such a man, 7 so that, on the contrary, you ought rather to forgive and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one be swallowed up with too much sorrow. 8 Therefore I urge you to reaffirm your love to him.”

He repented, and what is Paul telling the church to do? “Embrace that brother! He has repented of that sin and now you need to run to him and embrace him.” So is guilt from people or is it from God?

Another test – Is it vague or is it specific? Is it just a feeling or is it concrete? Do you really know why you’re feeling guilty? Do you have something specific for feeling guilty, or is it just a vague feeling? If it is a vague feeling, I think that it might be from the devil.

Does Satan want us to be joyful? Does he want us to be confident in Jesus? He wants the church to be anemic. He doesn’t want us to be joyful, he wants us to be pathetic because if we are anemic and pathetic, we are not working for the Lord. We’ll be so low, we can hang our legs off a tissue and the devil knows that and he wants to try to keep us pathetic. He doesn’t want us joyful, he doesn’t want us energetic, he doesn’t want us vibrant. He wants us guilt ridden.

So we need to ask ourselves, “Do I have something specific to feel guilty about?” If you do feel guilt about something specific then it is what it is.

Psalms 69:5, “5 O God, You know my foolishness; And my sins are not hidden from You.” Does that sound specific? Yes it does.

“God, you know what sin I’m dealing with and there is no need in me trying to hide it from you.” That’s a good sin to feel guilty about, right!

I know it’s specific, because I have done it, it’s true, I’m not denying it and I’m not trying to hide it and we come right out and say, “God, I know that you know and I’m just agreeing with you.”
Is it a secret sin? Secret sin and inner peace cannot co-exist unless you’re a spiritual sociopath.

Psalms 32:3-4, “3 When I kept silent, my bones grew old Through my groaning all the day long. 4 For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was turned into the drought of summer.”

Does that sound like a man who is broken with guilt? Absolutely! He says, “God’s hand is heavy upon me.” There is something that David is hiding. I don’t know if this is with Bathsheba because it doesn’t identify that, but David has done something and he is keeping that a secret and he says, “Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was turned into the drought of summer.” His conscience was burdened by it. Day and night he was burdened by it. He was not at peace.

The story is told that Noel Coward, the well known playwright, as a prank, once sent an identical anonymous letter to 10 notable men in London. The note said, "We know what you have done. If you don’t want to be exposed, leave town." Within 6 months, all 10 men that received the letter, moved!

Now, that was a terrible prank, but it shows the awesome power of guilt. He really didn’t know what they had done. Guilt is a horrible burden to bear. How should we handle guilt in our lives?

I’m going to tell you how “not” to handle it. Let’s go all the way back to Adam and Eve. They sin in the Garden and what do they do?

Genesis 3:10, “10 So he said, "I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.” Do you see guilt there? Yes – he is guilty because he is a sinner now.

First, he just felt shame for what he did but just feeling bad for what you did is not enough is it? What else did he do? He went and hid. Can you imagine trying to hide from God after he had just created you? Adam tried to play a game of hide and seek but it doesn’t stop there. He did what every man would do… he blamed his wife.

Genesis 3:11-12, “11 And He said, "Who told you that you were naked?...” Have you ever gone to the beach or to the local pool and some small toddler is missing their clothes? Sometimes they get loose from their clothes, because so many small children prefer the buff. Others have parents who just don’t care, which in today’s society can be a problem because of all the pedophiles out there, but one thing I can guarantee you is that that child does not care about whether their clothes are on or off. Likewise, those same small children won’t notice you either if they catch you stepping out of the shower or getting ready for church. Little children are like that. As we get older we lose our innocence and it happened to Adam and Eve.

“11 And He said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?" 12 Then the man said, "The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.”

“You know… if it wasn’t for Eve… we would probably be okay here.” Hey now don’t blame me, that’s just what Adam said and I’m just repeating it! And then she blamed it on the serpent. She said, “It was the serpent.” And the serpent didn’t have a leg to stand on. Isn’t that how we deal with sin? We guilt, we try to hide it, and then we blame someone. Is that the way to handle it?

God has a much different way of handling guilt and it is one word… Grace! How does God handle sin and how does he handle guilt?


1 John 2 verse 1 and 2…
“1 My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. (That is the goal for everyone, isn’t it? There should not be even one incidence of sin… that should be the goal in life.) And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. (Jesus is our attorney, he is our mediator between us and our creator.) 2 And He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the whole world.”

Propitiation means that Jesus’ blood is what satisfies the wrath of God. When Jesus died on the cross, his blood satisfied God’s wrath. That is why he is the atoning sacrifice for our sins and it’s pretty powerful if you think about it because it says that his blood takes care of the whole world.

There are about 6 billion people in this world and Jesus’ blood is adequate to cleanse all of us. If blood is powerful enough to cleanse billions of people, it should certainly be powerful enough to cleanse my sin.

Now not only do we need to deal with our sin, but we also need to confess it.
Psalms 32:5, “5 I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD," And You forgave the iniquity of my sin.”

Proverbs 28:13, “13 He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and (notice this) forsakes them will have mercy.” Not only does he want us to confess out sins, but God wants us to turn away from our sins. We have to change our ways.

1 John 3:4, “4 Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness.”
What is sin? What is the middle letter of the word sin? I… and that’s where we get into trouble. It’s when we leave God out and we follow our own will rather than his. I become a lawless person who fails to listen to the law giver.

Another part of dealing with guilt is accepting Jesus as your mediator.

1 John 1:9, “9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

If you have been forgiven by Jesus’ blood… how much of your sin has been forgiven? ALL OF IT! Will Jesus bring it up again later? We need to approach God with the confidence that he will honor his word about that.

Hebrews 10:22, “22 let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.” That says that we should be able to draw near to God with confidence.

Jeremiah 31 and the last part of verse 34, ““34………. For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.” He is not going to bring it up anymore.

Another part of dealing with sin is that there are times when we need others to pray for us. James 5:16, “16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”

People ask for prayers all the time. There’s no shame in that. If you have confessed a sin before God but you are still dealing with it on an ongoing basis I think that it would be wise to find a righteous man or woman who you respect in the Lord, and asked them to pray for you about this matter.

God not only wants to forgive us, but he wants to heal us too. Have you ever paid a bill and they stamped it with a big rubber red stamp and it said “Paid in Full?” That just looks and feels good doesn’t it?

God has given us all a letter and he has stamped it and do you know what it says? “21 For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” (2 Cor 5:21)

Paid in full! I wish I could say that about my mortgage, or my car, or my school loan. But we don’t have to feel guilt anymore about past sins. Our sins are removed, abolished and annihilated but we also need to forgive ourselves.

This may be the hardest part of all: I want to encourage everyone: "Don’t spend the rest of your life regretting your past. I invite you to do what David did in Psalm 32.

The grace of Christ saves us. It’s more than just a thought of the birth of Christ and feeling more this time of year than the rest of the year. I can clearly see that this is a tough time for you and I completely understand that and sympathize with that as I too reminisce on some things that are dear to me, but every Sunday is resurrection Sunday and a celebration of him in everything.


Merry Christmas,
Sean Rizor

 

Monday, December 19, 2011

With the Dawn of Redeeming Grace

Last year at the Christmas Eve service I allowed God's Love to surround me.  Everything that I was reading at that time seemed to center around love and forgiveness.  I was focused on it and I could see it very clearly as I looked around the church that evening.  I still feel this love, God's love, when I enter the church each Sunday.  I still pray for my family, friends and church family often, the ones that needed it most last Christmas, the ones that need it the most this Christmas and even the people that sit silently in the congregation each week with their thoughts and prayers.  I'm going to be realistic with myself this year and just assume that I will shed a few tears.  I'm actually pretty sure that I will leave the service feeling similar to how I felt last year:


I know that I will feel His love on Christmas Eve because I can feel it around me all of the time.  It's like a warm blanket on a cold winter night and He knows I need it on Christmas Eve.  As we prepare for His birth and as I celebrate my Dad's second birthday in heaven, I will need this warmth and love to feed my spirit. This year, as I finish wrapping all of the presents, as I sit silently and look at our Christmas tree, I feel like everything has changed but remains the same. My world was flipped upside down a year ago, but the rest of the world didn't stop.

With each new day, each new week, each new year, there is a rise and fall; a time that we fall short and a period of redemption that follows closely after we stumble; times that we struggle to feel God's grace and times where we seem to see His grace everywhere we look.

Last night I was singing Silent Night to myself as I wrapped presents.  Like most Christians, I can sing each verse from memory. It's always been my favorite hymn and Christmas song. I realized though, as I was singing "With the Dawn of Redeeming Grace", that I didn't really know what all of the words meant when they are all put together.  When they are surrounded by the other words of the hymn and collide in the same line of one verse of the song. I couldn't quite define what they mean. 

Dawn is defined by Google as the first appearance of light in the sky before sunrise.  One definition (again, presented by Google) of redeeming is atoning or making amends for error or evil.  Grace is defined by Google as the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings.

Even though I knew what the words meant separately prior to looking up the definitions, I don't think I have ever heard them used together outside of "Silent Night".  I often hear people use "saving grace", but rarely-if ever,  "redeeming grace".  Once I start thinking about something, my mind focuses on it until I finally sort the thoughts out. I have sang "Silent Night" too many times to count.  I have memories attached to singing the song in church and as I sing my children to sleep.  It's my favorite hymn, yet I have never thought about this line before last night.

Last night I wondered what the writer meant when he put the words together.  Clearly I can't shoot him an email and ask him...since it was first written in 1816 and translated in 1859 to include the phrase "with the dawn of redeeming grace". I asked for other people to weigh in on facebook, but I wasn't able to provoke any serious responses that way either.  So, I guess you'll have to settle for my opinion as I sort out my thoughts.

I think the phrase "With the dawn of redeeming grace" in the context of "Silent Night" wraps all of my feelings about God's love, the importance of forgiveness, fulfillment that can only be achieved through Him and so much more into one.  As the sun rises (dawn) our Savior is born.  As the sun rises a new day is born, on the Holy Night Jesus was born. The One, that even in flesh form did not sin, was born with redeeming grace.  He led by example.  Instead of sending us to Hell when we sin, He died for our immoral actions (redemption) and offers life everlasting.  Christ The Savior fought for the poor and oppressed, the sinners and the outcasts. Through it all he offered forgiveness, love, beauty, balance, peace...GRACE. 

Through the dawn of redeeming grace, He offers us life.  Jesus, Lord at Thy birth.  Can you see the radiant beams in this dawn? Can you feel the warmth offered in redemption when you stumble and fall?  Isn't it quite graceful for Him to pick us back up and brush us off, over and over again, and love us despite our failures?  Through the dawn of redeeming grace a new day will come. See the radiant beams of hope all around you.  In the sunrise, in the smile on a child's face, in the volunteers that ring the bell for the Salvation Army, His promise is all around you!

I can't wait to sing "Silent Night" with the congregation this year.  With the dawn of redeeming grace, Merry Christmas!!

Thanks for waking up early to take pictures, Grant Cummings!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Taste the rainbow!


 Since I continue to receive notifications that people are following me on Pinterest, I feel like I need to contribute to the site in some way!  I haven't really spent too much time on the site, but I think this is the type of thing/activity that is posted on here?

Camille wanted to bring in skittles for her birthday snack this year.  I wanted to be a freaking over achieving parent and was not satisfied with simply sending in a bag of skittles...and my children REALLY like to do this type of activity anyways.  I waited until the last minute to purchase supplies and the local grocery store did not have skittles.  Once we started making her birthday treats Camille was ok with using the mini M&M's rather than the skittles that she wanted to send (and I'm sure the rainbows tasted much better this way too)!  

After they washed their hands, they sorted the M&M's by color while I frosted graham cracker with chocolate frosting. 


Once the canvas (frosted graham crackers) was ready, I let them create their own rainbows.


Camille was so super proud of her birthday treats:)  And they were super easy and fun!


Taste the rainbow.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Do You Yell at Your Kids?

Do you yell at your kids? I was asked this question recently by a FRIEND that actually knows me pretty well. 

You always seem so put together! This statement was said out loud by another friend that I feel knows me pretty well.

How do you get everything done and still have time to read and write?

Although I'm happy that I portray this image of a well put together mother, wife, daughter, employee, etc., I work each day to get everything that NEEDS to be done and leave the things that don't.   Many people struggle each day to get it all done even IF it looks like they have it all together. Since they have done it all for so long, they expect to be able to do it, other people expect them to be able to do it, usually it gets done! To the outside world they may seem to have it all, all the kinks worked out and running smoothly, but sometimes that is simply the picture painted for the world to see.

From experience, I can say that often when it feels like the world is crashing in on me, that the outside world, even my closest friends, might not know. To the facebook world, to people outside of my house, I appear to be sunshine and rainbows! (Ben even teases me and tells me that my poo probably smells like roses);) When all the things that are expected each day are too much to handle, usually I can put on my game face and nobody would know that I'm struggling. (I'm not feeling like this right now (so don't email me asking if I'm ok), but I have often and I'm sure I will again and again). I'm sure you know the feeling...like you're treading water, barely staying above it!  (TOO MANY TITLES is  what I picked as my blogger name when I started blogging-there is a reason).

So, in an attempt to clear a couple things up...facebook is not real life and the 5 minutes shared in passing does not paint the entire picture.  The brief interactions and postings do allow people to share in bits and pieces of other's lives.  Try to keep in mind that the bits and pieces that people are sharing are the bits and pieces that they feel comfortable sharing with the world. 

Most of the time, the things we share on facebook are the bright and sparkly moments of the work of 'art' each day.  Some days, behind the facebook screen and under the makeup, the work of art may actually look like a Van Gogh painting.  Super big YAY for this type of day!!! But honestly, how often does this type of day happen?  Other days the work of art looks more similar one to of Keegan's paintings: all over the page, colors running together, can't really even make out what the painting is supposed to be.  Most of the time it is easier to portray to the outside world that your world appears to be similar to a Van Gogh work of art rather than admit that it actually looks more similar to Keegan's.

Do I yell at my children?  ALL THE TIME!! Do I get frustrated with them, want to throw something, overreact to situations, lose my patience?  ALL THE TIME!!  Other than Aaron, they probably deal with my expectations (that are often too high) the most often.  I expect Lilly to help her brother and sister get ready in the morning.  I expect Camille to dress herself.  I expect Keegan to help pick up the toys.  When they don't meet my expectations I get frustrated with them.  Sometimes I overreact.  Sometimes I yell.  Sometimes they are put in time out for things that really aren't a big deal at all, but at the time they either need to go to time out or I will lose it!  When we are in public, most of the time my children pick up the paint brush and paint Van Gogh.  They are not always well behaved once we get home.  Their whining voices reappear, they throw more tantrums...they don't have to paint at home.

To address the 'looking put together' comment, I will paint a picture of myself at the beginning of the day (especially the days that I have to get the children to the sitter before I go to work)!  I attempt to wake up before the children so that I can get ready by myself...it never happens.  Camille is always up before me-now matter how early I rise.  She follows me around and I trip over her the entire time I am dressing. By the time I wake up the other two, I'm running late because Camille wanted her hair done when I was getting dressed.  I comb Lilly's hair, put on Camille and Keegan's shoes and pack lunches...WHILE they are eating breakfast.  Lilly puts toothpaste on the toothbrushes while I finish packing lunches-the entire time they are all yelling at me that someone is doing something wrong and I'm ignoring their tattles. By the time I load them in the van, I'm exhausted and really my day hasn't even started! My hair is always soaking wet as we scramble to the car, sometimes I haven't even brushed it yet.  Often I add makeup when I stop at traffic lights in an attempt to look as if I slept well and that I made an effort to look nice since I work in a profession that image is key.  This is before 8am...most of you see me after 5...when I have had a chance to breathe and think! I have had time to throw a braid in my hair and apply mascara.  I am not always put together, I have simply painted the picture to appear to be put together.

How do I get it all done? Simple!!!  I don't.

I love Keegan's paintings!  Maybe because he's my child, maybe because he's so proud to give them to me, but mostly because he makes my life seem like a beautiful work of art.  Even if the paint is running and smearing.  Even if there is more paint on the floor than on the canvas.  Because I survive the mornings knowing that I get to relax and cuddle with them in the evening.   My day does not always run like a well oiled machine.  It's not always rainbows and sunshine.  I smile through the days where the picture of my life seems to look like Keegan painted it because it makes the days where it looks like Van Gogh grabbed the brush that much better.

Yes, I yell at my children:)


Friday, December 9, 2011

Friday's Friendly Fun: All I Want For Christmas

Is my two front teeth! (Or to lose her two front teeth in Lilly's case)!

She wants to be able to sing "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth" SO badly.  She's been working on them for a couple weeks now.  This picture was taken Wednesday, but she actually lost her tooth on Monday.  I am writing this Thursday night and the other tooth is now hanging on for dear life.  So within the next few days you will get to see her sing this song:)  She really wants to record herself singing it...Happy Friday!

(I AM SO HAPPY IT'S FRIDAY...most stressful week of work in a really long time)!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Ornaments (2)




We went to Genoa to pick out our Christmas tree this past weekend.  I studied each one carefully and finally decided on the perfect one. (Every year, I pick the perfect one-if you ask me). 

Maybe it wasn't exactly perfect?  Aaron had to take some off of the top...and the bottom of the tree.  But now that it fits inside our living room, it's perfect! Aaron strung the lights on Sunday and told me to wait until Monday to hang the ornaments.  This way he would be able to help us (help regulate the monsters so that none of my favorite ornaments were broken or distract them if I held a melt down is probably what he meant).

Sunday night when the kids went to bed I peaked into the tub of ornaments.  I didn't remember if I had taken them down in a specific order or if all of my favorites would be in one spot.  I unwrapped a few of the beautiful glass bulbs that my in laws have given to us over the years and then the one of me, Jake and my Granny.  I started to tear up and put them back into the tub and sealed the container shut. 

Monday afternoon on my way home from work, I blared Christmas music.  The happy Christmas music: Carol of the Bells and Baby It's Cold Outside were the last ones I listened to before I turned off the car.  A pine scented candle filled the house and I was greeted by my small army. Tons of Christmas cookies were lined up on the dining room table.  Christmas is a time to celebrate!  Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth. I was filled with love.  Christmas music was already playing and the children Could. Not. Wait. to decorate the tree!

 I anxiously and nervously opened the tub of ornaments. The monsters started grabbing and pushing and wanting to hang them all; so fast, without care.  I started to lose my patience.  I did not want any of my keepsakes damaged.  I wanted to look at each ornament before it was placed on the tree.  I wanted to remember.

I took a deep breath.  I set my favorites aside as I pulled out each ornament from the tub.  I let the children hang the rest...knowing full well that I would rehang them when they were done.  They finished and we ate dinner.  I asked Aaron to occupy them so that I could finish decorating the tree. 

I have a couple new favorites this year thanks to my friends.  Laura had one made with my Dad's picture, name and dates on it.  Ash gave me one that says "I love you all dearly, now don't shed a tear.  I'm spending my Christmas with Jesus this year." I am looking for few more to add to my favorites and give to a few special people this year, but I haven't found exactly what I'm looking for yet. 

I allowed the tears to fall while I hung each ornament with great care and love.  I cherish my Christmas tree and each little ornament and every memory that I think of as I hang them. Each night I sit silently and look at my memory filled Christmas tree. Once the kids are sleeping and the house is quiet, it's normally just me, the tree and my love affair with Joe Morelli (a character from a book-geeze).  Often I stand at the tree and try to pick out my favorites.  I find comfort knowing that my loved ones, both here on earth and in heaven, will spend Christmas with Jesus.  You just have to let Jesus into your heart.

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.

Original "Ornaments" post:


A little over a year after my first post on ornaments and I still feel like that person that has to hold it together so that everyone else is ok.  I still try to hide my tears when at all possible.  I still pray for the Jones, Perkins, Kaydens, Tobias, Heinemanns whenever I grieve, as I simply can't imagine how they survived their grief.  I can't help but to feel sad when my family and friends are struggling.  I'm ok with it.  It's who I am.

Praying for too many to list right now.  Bold prayers.  They know I'm praying for them.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

What Grinds My Gears #1

Obviously, I can not post some of the things that REALLY REALLY grind my gears on my blog (since the people that are REALLY REALLY good at grinding them are the ones closest to me in real life).  Most of them don't like it when I write about them at all, so I'm sure they would not approve of me writing about them in a "grinding gears" post!  Yet, per request, without naming names or implicating specific people or places, here are some of the things that grind my gears:

  • Muffin top- Just buy clothes that fit!  I don't want/expect people to be size 0, just buy clothes that fit! People look much better when their clothes fit properly.
  • FB "People You May Know" App- Yep, I know them, there's probably a reason we aren't fb friends.  This app shows me the same people ALL the time.  "You have 101 friends in common"...Really? Didn't know that! I rarely friend request anyone (also rarely reject a request), but if I do, it's not because an app told me to, but because I searched for them on facebook after I ran into them, met them or thought about them.  It's a dumb app, and I wish it didn't pop up all the time.
  • Habitual Tardiness- As I age, I'm getting more tolerant of this trait. Probably because I have A LOT of loved ones that possess this wonderful trait.  It is not an attractive trait, but I find it much easier to deal with when I just assume that M, H and M will ALWAYS be late and simply plan on it! I often lie to them and tell them an event starts a half hour early...sometimes they make it when the event starts that way!
  • Smoking Trick or Treaters!- I almost wrote an entire post on this the day after trick or treat!  I was so very annoyed by the number of parents walking around from house to house with their little ghosts and gobblins WITH A CIGARETTE hanging from their mouths.  I am not climbing up on a soap box here, I do still smoke cigarettes more regularly than I care to admit, but come on! Trick or treat is 2 (TWO) hours long!  Don't you think you could skip the cigarette and hold your monsters hand?  It is not attractive and honestly makes you look silly. 
I had a really stressful morning at work...this made my afternoon much better actually...I am smiling at the things that annoy the crap out of me...I might like this! 

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Friday's Friendly Fun: Tradition

At the Advent/Christmas Bible Study, Pastor Jen asked us what our favorite Christmas tradition is?  What a great ice breaker!!  Even if you're a silent follower and never comment on my posts, I hope as you read the post today, that you smile as you remember your favorite Christmas tradition!!

My favorite Christmas tradition is hands down, easily, didn't even have to think about it...

THE SHRIMP FEST! 

Well before I was born, the Runion and Bowen clan started a Christmas Eve tradition that involves boiling mass amounts of shrimp.  Piles and piles of fresh shrimp, with the vein in it and the shell on it. Dishes of homemade cocktail sauce with too much horseradish in it. A cup of melted butter at every other seat. A collection of an entire month of newspapers lining the tables.  More recently we had tshirts made to commemorate the event.  All of my family jams into Uncle Paul and Aunt Con's house; every nook and cranny is full of laughing and shouting and "MY PILE IS THE BIGGEST"!

It's special and perfect and one of a kind.

Last year was the first year that we didn't celebrate my Dad's birthday at the Shrimp Fest.  I was uncertain and scared. I didn't quite know if I was ready to celebrate my favorite Christmas tradition without my Dad. He was so much a part of this big event throughout my life.  I knew it would be difficult for everyone to gather with his absence being in each thought of every person in attendance and the loved ones that decided not to make the trip home this year as well. 

We survived.  We smiled.  We remembered.

This year I am excited and proud and can't wait to open the door and see all of my family gathered around the tables to celebrate as we have each and every year of my life. 

I miss him so very much.  I'm sure a few tears will escape; even if I try to keep them prisoner.  But this tradition is ours and I get to experience this tradition because he is and always will be my Dad.   He would want and expect us to eat too much shrimp and laugh as we tell stories.  It was his favorite Christmas tradition too.

Celebrate, Remember and Embrace Tradition.

My Dad's last birthday on this side...with all of his siblings...at our Annual Shrimp Fest. 
Love you Dad.


Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Day 30: Faith

Picture by Grant Cummings


Comfort Healing Serenity 
 Forgiveness Grace Peace
 Trust Desire Passion
Beauty Wonder Reverence
 Devotion Healing Tranquility
Faith Hope Love

Thankful for God.


Thankful that my faith allows me to believe that He can provide all of these things when others can't.  Thankful that I can continue to strive each day to follow His lead.

I had a long week full of family and friends...like (in a valley girl voice) jam packed every minute.  Generally, this is how I prefer my days to be spent.  At the beginning of this week an English proverb was ringing all too true in my head.  Yesterday I was contemplating hibernation (not attending social functions for a while, disconnecting from fb, etc.) because I was focused on "You can have too much of a good thing".  You can spend too much time with friends.  You can attend too many gatherings.  You can get too wrapped up in problems and drama that aren't even yours to worry about. You can eat too much pie.  Too much.

 Is seclusion the answer?  Is distancing myself from the world and the people that I love going to solve anything? If I don't invest my time and energy to help others, is that the person that I want to be?  I would expect them to be there for me if I needed them.  If I don't offer forgiveness when I expect forgiveness, is that a good example? Would He pull away when the tension was high and the risk seemed far greater than the reward?

Nope.

I was reminded by a few friends that drama is inevitable, it's part of life.  How I choose deal with it is my choice.  Even though I would prefer to avoid the drama altogether, that's just not the way life works.   I went to bed last night knowing that I was going to wake up refreshed and renewed. I prayed for it, I focused on it. Today, I'm ready to face the world with a smile rather than with my grumpy pants on (that I've had on all week).  I looked in my rear view mirror this morning and smiled at the magnificent sunrise pictured above.  I was hoping Grant would capture it for everyone to see (Thanks Grant)!

Super dooper excited to start the Advent/Christmas Bible Study!  I know a few of my favorite friends from church have decided to join the group. Just the thought of seeing them and Pastor Jen on a weekly basis, when I am feeling fresh out of strength, makes my heart happy.  I have a few special friends on my prayer list that could use the extra prayers and the Bible Study will allow extra time to focus my thoughts on them as I learn more of His word. 

Prayers for my Grandma.  Prayers for my Mom as she is once again in the position to call the shots with the doctors. Silent prayers of my heart.

I'm thankful for my faith.  I want to possess grace and give forgiveness. I want to help with the healing and see the wonder.  I want to feel, with passion, the words at the beginning of the post.  Even when the reward doesn't seem like it's worth the risk.  Even when it would be easier to fold on a hand.  Even when the pieces of glass are scattered about and sharp and out of place.  Because when the pieces are all fit together in a mosaic they are magnificent and beautiful.  Because I believe.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Friday's Friendly Fun: Turkey Day






 Pilgrim Benjamin
 Chief Aaron and Pilgrim Hosts


 The wildest Indian!



No, I was NOT kidding...we ALL wear head dresses or Pilgrim hats.  We had a wonderful evening full of food and fun.  We played Apples to Apples with Lilly...she's getting SO big!  I think our new tradition with my Mommy joining and Tori coming to play too, made this year easier for me. I was able to visit with friends every night this week, so no writing...just lots and lots of fun.  I hope that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

2011 Diva Fashion Sleepover



































Lots and lots of wild and crazy girls.  Happy BirthMONTH children...can't wait for Christmas!