Public Look In: Cash, Check or Credit!?!

One of my friends reads this blog (and a book) where the author uses really crappy pictures to tell stories about her life...http://crappypictures.com/. When my friend was telling me about her day, I told her she should send it to the author of the blog. Then, I started thinking. Well, that author doesn't know "My Evil Twin" (ET for short) and she probably has people sending her stories all of the time. What are the chances of her picking ET's bad day to illustrate? Who else has a blog?

So, here is my first (and most likely only) attempt at illustrating a story for your reading pleasure!!

ET is a SAHM. She texts me throughout the day to remind me that she's taking a nap or shopping or joining another one of my SAHM friends for tea and crumpets (I MOSTLY hate (and love) her.) Well, this day wasn't unlike most days with ET. She woke up happily chirping with the birds and thought, I think I'll take my "Redhead Offspring" (RO) to Soctso and pick up a ham and some toilet paper.

ET and RO were singing and skipping through Soctso, enjoying their Mommy/Monster bonding time...Until ET had to make pee!

*ET really does have homeless hair and it looks like this illustration!!

ET thought to herself: I'll grab the handicap stall. There is more room and less chance of RO touching all of the nasty things in a public restroom.

As all women know, the handicap stall is the usually the first stall when you walk into the restroom...the one that IF a door were to open, the MOST onlookers would see.

RO is two years old. He has learned how to open doors in the disgusting public restroom. He was having so much fun skipping through the aisles of Soctso, he wanted out to explore. ET couldn't hold her bladder while RO was trying to escape...she piddled in her panties and pants.

*ET didn't poo (well, at least she didn't tell me if she dropped off the kids at the pool when she was telling me about her day), but usually when you use a public restroom there are poo stains like in my illustration.

She used a few of my favorite words to let RO know she was NOT pleased with his escape maneuver, but she was determined to get her Thanksgiving ham and some MUCH NEEDED toilet paper.

ET wasn't as pleasant during the remainder of the shopping trip. I'm not sure if it was because birds were trying to nest in her homeless hair or the urine dripping down her legs??!

RO, we are almost done. All we need to do is pay. Please dear sweet child, stop saying "HOME". ET wants to go home, too!!!

Sure, nice elderly man, you can go in front of us. We see that you only have a couple items...WE DO TOO...but sure, go ahead!! I might strangle RO, but SURE GO RIGHT AHEAD!!!

Hello, overly friendly Soctso worker, how is your day?

Fine! Young homeless woman, do you have appropriate tender for your goods? We accept check and debit cards.

Yes, Sir. Here is my debit card. Oh, *&%#(!!! Our account was recently hacked and this is a new card. I might have to try the pin a couple times.

(Uh huh! Sure! I've heard this before. This lady doesn't have any money. The line is going to be out the door before she pays!!) Ok, give it a go!

Oh no! That's not it. I'm going to have to call my husband. Please hold on a minute. Ring Ring: Husband, please tell me that you're at home!? I'm at Soctso and I don't have my pin and RO is throwing a tantrum and I'm close to losing it! WHAT?!?!? You're in outer space!?! I can't wait 20 minutes for you to return. RO is screaming ET PHONE HOME AND I'M HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN!!!!

%$()*&$#%*(&

(%#)@$&**@*#

I HATE MY LIFE!!