Even...Now

Even now
I do and say things
because I know that others
expect me to respond a certain way.

Although I pray regularly,
I have doubts and insecurities buried
deep, deep inside.

Even now, when I repent often,
I have many regrets,
continue to make mistakes,
and fail to be all that He intends.

Even now,
now that I believe in Him with all of my heart,
I question why.

Even now
I have to push myself
to be more Every. Single Day.

Even now
I come up short,
leave the walls up,
missing takes my breath away.

Even
though I am stronger
Now,
I still struggle.
Even now.