When we had the monsters, the thought of one of them being shy NEVER crossed my mind. I assumed that they would all be like me: outgoing, loud, obnoxious...EXTROVERTS.
First, I had Lilly. Even when she was in diapers we couldn't shut her up! She will talk to anyone. When she makes her list of people to invite for a party, it's a scroll of never ending names. Some monsters that I don't even know show up on the list. When a few girls were talking about her party in class, she came home crying because she didn't want any of her classmates to feel bad because they weren't invited. Her friends think she's wild and crazy...she is wild and crazy. She's not scared to stand and speak or sing in front of a crowd.
I know how to handle Lilly. She is just like me!
And then I had Camille. And she's attached. And she hides behind my legs when people try to talk to her. And she is scared to try new things. And she's shy. And she needs me to hold her hand when we are out in public. And she doesn't want to go to school because she doesn't know the teacher. And we have to go over that I will not leave her at school or soccer or tumbling EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.
She couldn't WAIT to start tumbling! She wants to be like Lilly so very badly. And then she's finally old enough for tumbling, but she's too scared to stand out there by herself. And ya know what???
IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!!
To the point that I threaten to not let her participate and tell her we're going home unless she walks her skinny little behind out on the mat immediately! And she hides under my arm and tells me that she's scared and Mylie isn't there and Kiki isn't doing tumbling this time. So, she's scared.
WHAT!?! ARE YOU SCARED OF, CAM!? I'm right here!! I'm sitting right here, watching you for the hour class when I could be at home getting something done each week. WHAT ARE YOU SCARED OF!?! And I turn into evil Mom and I can't hide my horns. GET ON THAT MAT, CAM. We paid for this class. YOU wanted to do it. Get out there!
And then I let her stand there, nuzzled into me for a while and calm down. I ask her again why she doesn't want to tumble, but instead of yelling I use a calm, soothing voice while I hold her hand.
AND THEN...SHE SMILED AND FLIPPED AND CHEERED WITHOUT A CARE IN THE FREAKING WORLD THE REMAINDER OF THE CLASS!!!
And if this were the first class OR the first time we went through this routine, it would be one thing. However, it's Every.Freaking.Monday. Every freaking Monday I ask her if she wants to go to tumbling. I tell her that I will stay and watch her practice. I tell her that I love her and she's a big girl and she can do it....AND SHE FREAKS OUT. every.single.time.
Often at the end of the day, I know that I don't handle situations with her properly. She's an introvert and I need to respect that. Sometimes though, I get VERY frustrated with it. It's hard for me to understand what is going through her pretty little head full of curls and I forget that she's different. She responds to criticism differently, she likes to speak to me in private, she needs the extra assurance of my hand in hers for now.
I was able to bring a couple of my friends to the dark side (out of their shell a little), but I can't push Camille until she's ready. She's not ready. Hopefully someday soon she will be more confident and able to go to tumbling or school or soccer without fear, but she'll probably always prefer a smaller group of friends, a quiet conversation over a loud party, notice over a surprise...AND THAT'S OK. I did marry her dad;)
Below is the best advice I have found for caring for the different, VERY DIFFERENT personalities. I'm going to print it out and put it on my refrigerator. Oh, and my friends at tumbling, please whisper in my ear to be patient with my little monster. We all know I need a LOT of practice with patience!! ;)
First, I had Lilly. Even when she was in diapers we couldn't shut her up! She will talk to anyone. When she makes her list of people to invite for a party, it's a scroll of never ending names. Some monsters that I don't even know show up on the list. When a few girls were talking about her party in class, she came home crying because she didn't want any of her classmates to feel bad because they weren't invited. Her friends think she's wild and crazy...she is wild and crazy. She's not scared to stand and speak or sing in front of a crowd.
I know how to handle Lilly. She is just like me!
And then I had Camille. And she's attached. And she hides behind my legs when people try to talk to her. And she is scared to try new things. And she's shy. And she needs me to hold her hand when we are out in public. And she doesn't want to go to school because she doesn't know the teacher. And we have to go over that I will not leave her at school or soccer or tumbling EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.
She couldn't WAIT to start tumbling! She wants to be like Lilly so very badly. And then she's finally old enough for tumbling, but she's too scared to stand out there by herself. And ya know what???
IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!!
To the point that I threaten to not let her participate and tell her we're going home unless she walks her skinny little behind out on the mat immediately! And she hides under my arm and tells me that she's scared and Mylie isn't there and Kiki isn't doing tumbling this time. So, she's scared.
WHAT!?! ARE YOU SCARED OF, CAM!? I'm right here!! I'm sitting right here, watching you for the hour class when I could be at home getting something done each week. WHAT ARE YOU SCARED OF!?! And I turn into evil Mom and I can't hide my horns. GET ON THAT MAT, CAM. We paid for this class. YOU wanted to do it. Get out there!
And then I let her stand there, nuzzled into me for a while and calm down. I ask her again why she doesn't want to tumble, but instead of yelling I use a calm, soothing voice while I hold her hand.
Because I'm scared. You said you had to run home and get something for Jeff and Mylie isn't here and there isn't room to stand by Izzy.
Camille, I'm just going to run home quickly, I'll be back in a few minutes. Ashley is right here if you need anything.
But I get scared when you aren't here.
Jeff, can you swing by and pick up Paige's stuff after class?
Sure can.
Ok, Cam. I'm going to stay right here. I'll walk you out to a spot right next to Izzy, Ok?
Ok. As she wipes the tears and tries to collect herself.
AND THEN...SHE SMILED AND FLIPPED AND CHEERED WITHOUT A CARE IN THE FREAKING WORLD THE REMAINDER OF THE CLASS!!!
Often at the end of the day, I know that I don't handle situations with her properly. She's an introvert and I need to respect that. Sometimes though, I get VERY frustrated with it. It's hard for me to understand what is going through her pretty little head full of curls and I forget that she's different. She responds to criticism differently, she likes to speak to me in private, she needs the extra assurance of my hand in hers for now.
I was able to bring a couple of my friends to the dark side (out of their shell a little), but I can't push Camille until she's ready. She's not ready. Hopefully someday soon she will be more confident and able to go to tumbling or school or soccer without fear, but she'll probably always prefer a smaller group of friends, a quiet conversation over a loud party, notice over a surprise...AND THAT'S OK. I did marry her dad;)
Below is the best advice I have found for caring for the different, VERY DIFFERENT personalities. I'm going to print it out and put it on my refrigerator. Oh, and my friends at tumbling, please whisper in my ear to be patient with my little monster. We all know I need a LOT of practice with patience!! ;)
"Stomp your feet and yell with me or I'm NOT going to be your friend!"
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