Facebook Withdrawl Week 5

Super sore from square dancing...pathetic!  Clark was surprised! Had a nice time meeting their friends:)

Beautiful baby shower, beautiful Mommy, wonderful friends.

My cousin should be a party planner.  Cowboy boots two nights in a row...YEEEEEHAAAWWW!

Loved the fork decor for the soon to be Jessica Fork!  Adorable, packed house for a super sweet friend:)

Time with my Texas girl makes me smile...I was in a MOOD on Sunday.  Laura and Jess turned it around for me;)  Don't know what I would do without all of my girlfriends!

So sick of losing in volleyball! Last week-acceptable.  This week-NOT.

DO NOT stop by my house this week...it's trashed!  No time to clean or put things away or breathe! (Nevermind, started the cleaning frenzy last night, to be continued tonight and in shape for drop ins the rest of the week:) I even swept out my car...passengers understand how badly needed this was!)

Special prayers for couple ladies this week. I hope they can feel the extra love.

That's it.  I hear bits and pieces of things on fb...I'm ready to be back on the grid!

My reminder. Always always always.

All powerful. All knowing. Ever Present. 

 Grace. Mercy. Forgiveness.

Faith. Timeless. Hope. Limitless. Love. Infinite.

God

His understanding has no limit (Psalm 147:5). He searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought (1 Chronicles 28:9). His love endures forever (Psalm 136).

Since my days of dorm rooms with stereos booming Dixie Chicks, I have wanted a tattoo. On spring break one year I even went to a tattoo parlor with my closest friends. I was going to pick one of the cute girlie designs and go with it.  I was feeling rebellious that year and ready to mark my independence with a meaningless design. The shop we selected randomly, didn't tattoo feet.

As we walked out of the shop, I pretended that I was disappointed and deflated. Honestly, I was relieved because I didn't know what I wanted! I wanted it to mean something, but what in my life meant enough to have it permanently embedded on my youthful skin?  I have always wanted one, but could not think of the perfect design.  So, yes, mother, even though I'm not eighteen, I still wanted one and even though nobody believed I would actually follow through, I did!

I stumbled on the design on Pinterest of all places. You can check out her blog here: http://amorestef.blogspot.com/2011/02/ggpwn3d-7-failing-flesh.html  Her reasons are part of why I LOVE the design so much.  IMMEDIATELY I knew that I wanted this design. For more than a decade I have thought about what design I would like enough to last forever. A design that will stand the test of time, tell my story, remind me of the scars and the glory.

I LOVE IT!

PLUG: Dominic at Infinite Art 419-292-1990.  I printed a picture of Stef's blog post picture and he drew it up on the spot, kept me calm and it looks amazing. I laughed and used my favorite word quite a few times, but actually it didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would. I screamed "I have a tattoo!!" all the way home...and, no, I did not have anything to drink before he started! A special memory with Ashley and Wendy that will last forever! 3/21/12

For me, the design starts with the words at the bottom and ends with the words at the top of this post. 'It' and 'that' which can only be explained by God. 

My journey to Him.  A reminder to myself, always always always.

Question. Believe. The Story. The characters. Perceived. Real. Life. Death. Prophesy. Known.

Children. Mother.  Insanity. Still. Water. Wine. Broken. Compassion. Reflection. Face to Face.

Loss. Prosperity. Self-seeking. Charity. Sin. Salvation. Mystery. Knowledge. Confident. Humble.

Failing Flesh. God is Strength. Wilderness. Light. Repent. Rejoice. Fall. Spring. Doubt. Assurance.

Facebook Withdrawl Week 4

OH NO! I am not thinking in facebook terms at all anymore! LauraBook will be nonexistent! By Easter I might not want to log on!

Yeah right...I can't wait to get on:)

But I did not log in to Blogger much last week other than to write about co-existing.  I can't remember what I did two days ago let alone all week:) BUT, I do love Sarah's new tattoo and it makes me want mine so much worse!  Soon, dear tattoo, soon:) Love listening to live music, especially with a few of my best friends...if you missed Rockoustic last weekend, your loss! Lovin' the nice weather, grilled food, and dirty feet...that's about it!

Co-Existing Prevention Tactics



Admittedly, I often have impossible expectations. Sometimes, in my opinion, my husband isn't bringing 100% to the table. Whatever the reason is this week; both of us are irritated with each other.  Maybe we have even resorted to giving each other the silent treatment:)  We have learned that the silent treatment is more effective in our relationship than yelling at each other (and also realize it is very immature).  We will probably call a cease fire tonight as both of us have had sufficient time to get over what is irritating us, but I think most of my problems stem from feeling disconnected to him.

When you're in a committed relationship, sometimes it's hard to prevent co-existing.  When I refer to my husband as my roommate, it instantly makes him shudder.  Most likely this reaction is because he knows that this reference is always followed by my complaint that I feel disconnected to him. After you have been living with someone for a while, you each know what chores are expected of you and do them without thinking.  You know what show to turn on the television in the evening and you don't really have to ask about their day because you can tell by their body language.  The conversation dies and you co-exist.

I know that he will fold the clothes, but will not put them away.  I know that he will take the garbage to the corner, but will not empty the bathroom trash cans prior to doing so.  I know that he will take money out of the ATM, but will never check to see if it was debited twice. I'm positive that he has a long scroll of similar things that he knows and expects out of me.  For example, if I do not sleep well, I will take it out on my entire household the next evening.  Or that once a month I am irrational, impossible, and it's better to avoid any serious conversation...probably safest to simply avoid me altogether for a couple days!

How do you prevent simply co-existing and maintain a healthy, loving relationship? 

I've read articles about it, I've talked to my friends about it, I try not to let it get to the point where I feel like we are simply co-existing, but I suppose it's inevitable.  It's difficult to find time with children, work and life to concentrate on feeding the relationship with your significant other, especially when the machine is running smoothly.

These are some of the things I have heard, learned, or plan to try:

•  Exercise together...Somewhat successful. It pisses me off that he can do zero exercise and then go out and run 3 miles in less than 24 minutes...so I definitely will not be running with him.  Recreational sports are fun when I'm playing well.  I hate it when I am playing poorly and if Aaron is there, he is usually the one that gets the attitude.  When we're already fighting and we play volleyball together it's pretty comical since we give each other the silent treatment the entire match:)
•  Date Night...Guaranteed success.  Dress up, go to your favorite restaurant, watch a movie together.  Make time to focus on each other.
•  Make a list of all of the things your significant other does for your household.  This will force you to see all of the things they do to make the machine run smoothly and hopefully will allow you to appreciate them more.
• Write a love letter, poem, or give a card.  At the very least this shows your significant other that you are thinking about them and appreciate them.  (Personally, I have given up on receiving one of these, but I do give them).
• Ask about their day…and actually pay attention.  When you stop sharing parts of your day with your significant other, your relationship suffers.  Your day is important to you and you need to share it with your spouse...don't just sit silently and watch the television.
• Make a commitment to change.  When you realize the conversation is old and boring, change it! You'll probably be surprised at some of the answers you receive when you start asking about the things they like to do.
• Be spontaneous. When I order at a restaurant it is always the same thing.  When I walk in the office, I have the same routine.  Each night we attend whatever practice or game is that night, take baths, read books, etc.  Same same same. Boring boring boring.  Do something spontaneous. 

This weekend I ordered what the cutie pie waiter recommended, NOT the same thing I always do.  We went to dinner by ourselves...No children, no friends, just us! Then I begged him to take me shopping and pretend that he was my sugar daddy.  We did things out of the ordinary and HAD FUN!

I think FUN is probably the key to prevent co-existing.  I wrote this so that I would force myself to think about how to prevent co-existing, but I would love others opinions on the subject. How do you prevent co-existing?

Carpaccio appetizer per recommendation of Matt Canfield

Enjoy the Day

It is beautiful outside today, absolutely gorgeous! I enjoyed running all of the downtown errands in the sunshine yesterday and today.  After not feeling well for a few days, it is great to feel normal again; able to breathe through my nose and not have my eyes water. I decided to stop at Jimmy John's.  JJ's is freaky fast and freaky funny if you play along with them.  I go there more often than I'm willing to admit in writing.  Every time I walk in the establishment I'm greeted by EVERYONE that works there.  Every time I leave ALL of them say have a good day or something to that nature.  Today I walked in and stuck out my tongue before I ordered.  When I got to the door I turned around, waved like I was Miss America, and told them all to have a great day.   EVERYONE was laughing...I laughed all the way back to my office:) 

Beautiful Day.  Do something silly today! Enjoy the day! 

Facebook WIthdrawl Week 3

3/9: Short work day after long work week!  Pizza party with Lilly and then visiting Laura's new crib:)

3/10: Thanks to Johanna and all of the other parents and teachers that made Destination Imagination a success. Couples Bunco at the Thatchies.

3/11: Not enough sleep.

3/12: B.L.A.H.

3/13: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Not addicted to facebook anymore.  Not thinking in update statuses at all really. Does anyone have "Eleven on Top"? I need it.

Facebook Withdrawl Week 2.5 to show I'm back to normal;)

3/6: LOVE Nina time.  I feel so much better after she tries to make me pretty:)

3/7: Sarah Day.  Sarah week really, but I'm trying to turn it around!

3/8: 89X has me taking a memory walk this morning...would you rather be short with a big one or tall with a little one?

Since everyone (or at least most of you) that follow on here care about me, I'll post a little blurb today to show I'm ok. I had a really bad day yesterday. I had little patience for the kids theatrical performances at bed time. I did two workouts last night because I felt like I was ready to lose it.   This morning I put on a pretty dress, big girl panty hose and my smile.  I'm crossing things off my list at work and tonight I will cross things off my list at home.  Aaron's long weekend started at 7am this morning. I am fine. Thanks everyone that checked in on me! Much love!

The World's on Fire

My heart is worn. I am tired, but I try to hold it in.

Today would be my parents anniversary.   It's the second anniversary my Dad has been in heaven for. It's not any easier for me this year than it was last. I have been thinking about life and loss all week.  How sometimes life just doesn't seem fair and I'm kind of bitter about it.

I don't have any magic words to comfort my mom.  I can't make my Grandma like the nursing home. I can't take Lilly's cold away.  I can't stay home to cuddle her because I have too much work to do.  I'm just having one of those weeks where I feel like I can barely keep my head above the water.  I don't have time in the day to complete all of the tasks that need to be done! Like "the world's on fire and it's more than I can handle".

When I'm feeling sorry for myself I turn to three things: the Bible, music, and writing.  Last night I picked the Bible.  The verses that set my mind at ease are below. 

This morning I picked music.  It's always Sarah when I'm thinking of loss.  "World on Fire" is in my top five, if not my favorite song of all time.  When I'm feeling overwhelmed I can listen to it and gain perspective.  My cross really isn't as heavy as I think it is after I listen to the lyrics and especially when I take the time to watch the music video.

Writing forces me to think about the random thoughts that run through my crazy head.  Lilly is not feeling well, but she's not in the hospital like a friends baby girl.  I am overwhelmed with work, but at least I have a job.  The pain of loss is real, but He promises that it's not more than I can handle.

So, just in case you're feeling like the world's on fire and it's more than you can handle...trust that it isn't.  Believe in His promises. I'm ready to bring my share after writing about it; even when it feels like it's more than I can handle.  When I think about the struggles others are facing I realize I just need to dry it up and put on my big girl pants.

Super special prayers for Connor and Londyn today.  If you're not already following Connor's story you can sign follow here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/connorrequena 

World on Fire Video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDmPcSWE0WU

Matthew 16:24-26

New International Version (NIV)

 ²⁴ Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. ²⁵ For whoever wants to save their life^[a] will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. ²⁶ What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?" 

Isaiah 43:1-3

New International Reader's Version (NIRV)

Isaiah 43

The Lord Saves Israel

 ¹ Family of Jacob, the Lord created you.
      People of Israel, he formed you.
   He says, "Do not be afraid.
      I will set you free.
   I will send for you by name.
      You belong to me.
 ² You will pass through deep waters.
      But I will be with you.
   You will pass through the rivers.
      But their waters will not sweep over you.
   You will walk through fire.
      But you will not be burned.
      The flames will not harm you.
 ³ I am the Lord your God.
      I am the Holy One of Israel.
      I am the one who saves you.
   I will give up Egypt to set you free.
      I will give up Cush and Seba for you.

Facebook Withdrawl Week 2

Facebook Withdrawl Week 2:

3/1 Poo flows downhill. < Crackheads run half marathons.  Riverview Drive is not a nice neighborhood.

3/2 Happy Birthday, Jamie!!  Excited to try Fort Ball pizza! <It should be required of all government employees to smile! OH and acknowledge tax paying citizens in less than 5 minutes when they are standing directly in front of them!

3/3 Boot camp with Ashley and Angie...going to be sore tomorrow, but totally worth it!  <Monsters first time ice skating tonight-could be interesting!

3/4 Wonderful message, as always.  Walleye with WUMC! 

3/5 I look like garbage today!  My eyes are swollen to the point that I had to pry them open this morning.  “It’s dark now and I am very tired. I love you, always. Time is nothing.”
― Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler's Wife  I LOVED it, but I will be happy to return to my love affair with Morelli and Ranger (mindless garbage rather than thought provoking writing on life, love and happiness). I can't believe this her first novel...and I want to go to Chicago! Thanks for letting me borrow it, Grant!

AHHHHHHHHH: Sarah at the zoo!!! SOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!! THANK YOU FOR THE ALERT, JEN!! (I was having a really rough Monday morning...now I'm sunshine and rainbows)

Totally not missing facebook anymore.  I asked Jeremiah what I have been missing...pictures of Oscar.  I saw Oscar on Sunday though, so I guess I'm not missing too much;)  Cuss Jar is winning and I haven't even had any beer:(

Let's Bake a Moment Together!!!!

You see this picture above??  Honestly, are there ANY mothers that think this is an accurate depiction of a mother making a cake with a toddler?  Am I just a loser mom because I don't think this looks ANYTHING like me or my children when I have the bright idea to have them "help" me make treats?  Look at the mother smiling!!  And her perfect posture as she extends the bowl full of batter gently for her SPOTLESS child to stir!  And an APRON!  Who even owns one of them these days?  And more importantly who would take the time to locate it to make a cake with a toddler?  (We do own a couple aprons, but they are Aaron's:)) SERIOUSLY though!! COME ON Betty Crocker, get real!

Let's bake a moment together...SERIOUSLY!?!?!?

Maybe the next time I ask the kids to "help" me make a cake, I'll have Aaron take a picture of us and I'll send it in to Betty Crocker...because obviously they do NOT understand what an accurate depicition of a mother making a cake with a toddler is!!!!

In my kitchen it looks and sounds more like this:

Happy Smiling Mommy: "Hey guys, do you want to make a cake for Tammy's birthday?"

Three beautiful, harmless children, excitedly: "YAY, Mommy!! That sounds fun!"

Happy Mommy: "Lilly, can you get the mixers? Cami, you grab the mixing bowl...NO!!! KEEGAN, I WILL GET THE EGGS!!!"

MEAN MOMMY VOICE: "GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN...NOW!!!!!"

Sweet, innocent, but WHINY Lilly: "But Mom, it was an accident! We want to help."

Deep breath, deep breath. Scoop Eggs into garbage. Wipe. Disinfect. Dry floor. Deep breath, deep breath.

PRETEND Happy Mommy: "Ok guys, let's try this again.  Keegan, I will get the eggs.  You get a spoon!"

ALL OF THE KIDS WANTING TO DUMP THE INGREDIENTS INTO THE BOWL: "MOM, HE GOT TO DO IT LAST TIME (2 ******** months ago)! MOM, SHE'S NOT OLD ENOUGH TO USE THE MIXER!!  MOM, KEEGAN LICKED THE SPOON AND PUT IT BACK IN THE BOWL!!"

MOMMY WITH HORNS PEEKING THROUGH HER HALO: "Thank you for the help, guys! I've got it from here!!! Take your spoon and lick it, but make sure to give it to me when you're done so that I can wipe you up and put the spoon in the sink."

HAPPY CHILDREN: "OK, MOMMY."

Completely frazzled mother turns her back for ONE second to put the pan in the oven! Seriously, one second!! And the youngest monster is not at the table..."OH ****!!!!!" she thinks to herself!!  She calls for him, follows his little monster voice and finds him sitting happily next to the chocolate smears on the leather sofa chair.

NOT LIKE THE PICTURE PRESENTED ABOVE...NOT AT ALL!!

PS: This story did not actually take place...well, not all at the same time...or last week when I made the cake for Tammy's birthday...BECAUSE I WAITED UNTIL THE KIDS WERE IN BED TO MAKE THE CAKE:)  And no, this isn't the funny story from my trip either, but I'm done writing for the week...maybe some other time;)

Decorating the cake, singing Happy Birthday and eating the cake...I might look like that nice, loving mother in the picture at the top of the post!!  Hope you had a great birthday, Tams:)  Love you!

LOOK AT ALL OF THESE CANDLES...WOW TAMMY IS OLD!!!!!

We let the children put the sprinkles on the cake...DUMP them on is more accurate, I suppose:)

FRIENDS ARE THE BEST:)