The World's on Fire

My heart is worn. I am tired, but I try to hold it in.

Today would be my parents anniversary.   It's the second anniversary my Dad has been in heaven for. It's not any easier for me this year than it was last. I have been thinking about life and loss all week.  How sometimes life just doesn't seem fair and I'm kind of bitter about it.

I don't have any magic words to comfort my mom.  I can't make my Grandma like the nursing home. I can't take Lilly's cold away.  I can't stay home to cuddle her because I have too much work to do.  I'm just having one of those weeks where I feel like I can barely keep my head above the water.  I don't have time in the day to complete all of the tasks that need to be done! Like "the world's on fire and it's more than I can handle".

When I'm feeling sorry for myself I turn to three things: the Bible, music, and writing.  Last night I picked the Bible.  The verses that set my mind at ease are below. 

This morning I picked music.  It's always Sarah when I'm thinking of loss.  "World on Fire" is in my top five, if not my favorite song of all time.  When I'm feeling overwhelmed I can listen to it and gain perspective.  My cross really isn't as heavy as I think it is after I listen to the lyrics and especially when I take the time to watch the music video.

Writing forces me to think about the random thoughts that run through my crazy head.  Lilly is not feeling well, but she's not in the hospital like a friends baby girl.  I am overwhelmed with work, but at least I have a job.  The pain of loss is real, but He promises that it's not more than I can handle.

So, just in case you're feeling like the world's on fire and it's more than you can handle...trust that it isn't.  Believe in His promises. I'm ready to bring my share after writing about it; even when it feels like it's more than I can handle.  When I think about the struggles others are facing I realize I just need to dry it up and put on my big girl pants.

Super special prayers for Connor and Londyn today.  If you're not already following Connor's story you can sign follow here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/connorrequena 

World on Fire Video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDmPcSWE0WU

Matthew 16:24-26

New International Version (NIV)

 ²⁴ Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. ²⁵ For whoever wants to save their life^[a] will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. ²⁶ What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?" 

Isaiah 43:1-3

New International Reader's Version (NIRV)

Isaiah 43

The Lord Saves Israel

 ¹ Family of Jacob, the Lord created you.
      People of Israel, he formed you.
   He says, "Do not be afraid.
      I will set you free.
   I will send for you by name.
      You belong to me.
 ² You will pass through deep waters.
      But I will be with you.
   You will pass through the rivers.
      But their waters will not sweep over you.
   You will walk through fire.
      But you will not be burned.
      The flames will not harm you.
 ³ I am the Lord your God.
      I am the Holy One of Israel.
      I am the one who saves you.
   I will give up Egypt to set you free.
      I will give up Cush and Seba for you.