Friendship-ideas-love-small doses-respect

Many ideas grow better when transplanted into another mind, than in the one where they sprung up. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Last weekend, almost immediately after I declared that I would strive to take the high road, I failed.  I fell right flat on my face.  I opened up my big mouth and the words spilled out like vomit. As soon as I said it, I knew that I hurt one of my lovely friends.   I could tell by her deflated smile and body language that I struck a chord and she was not at all entertained by my off color jab. I didn't want to cause a scene, so I did not stop the game and apologize then. 


In my circle of friends we give each other a hard time, we make fun of each other, we laugh at each others idiosyncrasies (snorting laughs, screams of excitement at a good roll, the first day of a spray tan).  Most of my friends are used to me and do not take much (if anything) that I say to heart, but I need to be more careful when I choose my words.  Sometimes the comments are just plain uncalled for and rude.

I felt guilty about my immature, mean comment all weekend long.   The next day I sent an apology to my friend.  Reading her response to my apology grounds me and humbles me to the point of tears.  I had a pit in my stomach the rest of the weekend.  I know that she's not the only one of my friends that feels this way and I really am trying to change how I speak to others.   Like I said last week, the mean girl comments slip out more frequently than I even realize.  Even though I am joking when I say them, when I bring attention to others insecurities, I am putting them down, whether that is my intent or not. 

This week I am using her words as my mirror.  I do not like the reflection.


" Your words can be hurtful at times and it makes me wonder how you truly feel about me"


I don't want my friends to feel like I feel anything but love and friendship for them.  I admire this particular friend more than she knows for always sticking up for her friends, for not hesitating to tell me how she is feeling...for putting me in my place.  She probably thought I would dismiss her idea about my poor behavior and not feed it, but actually I thought about it all weekend.

As one of my best friends left the party she said "I can only take you in small doses."  I know she didn't mean to harm me when she made the comment, but since I was already feeling bad about my behavior this weekend, her comment reinforced my need to look in the mirror.

This weekend is not the the first time that I have failed. It's not the first time I have not liked the reflection in the mirror. A poem that I keep in my wallet to remind me to check the reflection often is in this post on temptation, defeat and the mirror  http://publiclookin.blogspot.com/2011/03/temptation-defeat-and-mirror.html 

I'm sure it will not be the last time that I fail.  I'm sure I will have to apologize again.  I'm sure that I will fall flat on my face time and time again, but I'm working on it.  My rambling today is mostly for me.  To remind me how I made my friend feel, to remind me of the guilt that I felt knowing that I hurt her, to remind me that I want and have to do better.

Listen to the ideas of others, grow them and feed them. Take a look in the mirror.  Do you like the reflection? 

Take the High Road

Proverbs 10:13-14

New International Version (NIV)

 ¹³ Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning,

   but a rod is for the back of one who has no sense.

 ¹⁴ The wise store up knowledge,

   but the mouth of a fool invites ruin.

DISCERNING: Having or showing good judgement.

Once upon a time there was a young girl that ALWAYS had an opinion. She NEVER thought before she told it.  She RARELY (if ever) took the time to see beyond what she BELIEVED to be true.  She didn't offer second chances, believed rumors to be facts, and opened her big mouth many, MANY times when it wasn't her place.  She made decisions based SOLELY on what she believed to be in her best interests, never thinking about how it impacted others. Once upon a time there was a young girl named Laura.

Honestly, even though I am working on it, this immature, bully attitude still peaks out more often than I will admit to in writing.  It takes a lot to see the best in people when it's so much easier to assume the worst. It's fairly simply to hear a rumor about someone and believe it to be fact. It's more difficult to form an unbiased opinion, rather than take the time to get to know them or try to understand their motives without even meeting them.  What does it mean to take the high road?

Or, what about the middle road?  Is there anything wrong with taking the middle road?  I mean, it's better than the low road, but it's not quite as good as the high road.  A "C" is passing, maybe we should all stick to the middle road? Is it better to do favors and nice things for the people that we know will return them, but not offer the same courtesy to the people that we know will not extend the same graciousness to us? 

If we all choose to take the middle road, who will reach for the "A"? Soon enough the middle road will become the high road and the low road will be normal.  We will come to expect less and less of each other, we will not offer second chances, we will not try to understand or empathize with each other, we will simply respond to life. We will react to situations and events with little regard to the impact it will have on our family and friends. 

I do not want to live in a society that is satisfied with the middle road.  So how do you take the high road consistently?  When it is so much easier to take the low road or even the middle road!  If everyone else is taking the shortcut, why strive to take the high road?  

I think it's a test of maturity to take the high road.  To always treat others with MORE respect, MORE compassion, MORE understanding than you expect in return.  The path might be a little more difficult, but you're much less likely to get stuck in the mud!

Lead by example. Take the high road.  Encourage your friends to get in the car with you! I'm going to keep practicing!

 Isaiah 33:15-16

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁵ Those who walk righteously

   and speak what is right,

who reject gain from extortion

   and keep their hands from accepting bribes,

who stop their ears against plots of murder

   and shut their eyes against contemplating evil—

¹⁶ they are the ones who will dwell on the heights,

   whose refuge will be the mountain fortress.

Their bread will be supplied,

   and water will not fail them.

Home of THEE Laura Strong

The Ville, The Village, Hooterville, Woodpile, The Dirty Wood, The Cop Shop, The Speed Trap, Hoodville, Weirdville, The Town NOT to be Mistaken for Gibsontucky, The Twilight Zone, Whoville, Whatville, The Dirty, Wildville, The "Other" Woodville (not the Woodville Mall), Skullyville, Woodtucky, The Bubble, The Lime Capital of the World

THE VILLAGE OF WOODVILLE

While most people only click on a blog post when I link it to facebook, there are a few people that actually subscribe. While I was "off the grid" I asked if any of my regular followers had any topics/questions that they would like me to attempt to answer.  This is one of them and I plan to answer honestly, but also have some fun with!

 

 SDD, a friend that recently PICKED to move back to Woodville...like took a pay cut and moved in with her rents for a while in order to make the move possible sent me the following questions:  "Why are you here?  Why did you stay?  Why didn't you get the hell out when you had a chance?  Does any part of you ever regret it? (And not in the, "No, I don't regret it because I wouldn't have married Aaron and had the kids," kind of way, that's a cop out.  Let's say you get to keep Aaron and the kids, but still got out for a while/forever...what do you think?)"

When I was 17 and headed off to "Woodmore #2" or "The Larger Scale of the Same" (BGSU), I was NEVER going to come back to Woodville.  I wanted to live in a big city like Chicago, have a fancy office in a skyscraper over looking the city and only come home when my parents begged me.  Aaron wanted to live in Montana or some other desolate place in the wilderness away from all socialization.  I wasn't going to have any children and wouldn't be caught dead living in "The Dirty Wood"...until I did.

Why I am here?  When I found out I was having Lilly, we couldn't afford anything more than the half-way house.  Aaron was living in Columbus. I was living with two of my friends.  Both of us only worked enough to pay the rent and buy beer.  If we were going to give the whole family thing a whirl, we needed the help of our families.  I cried when we talked about moving back to Woodville, but both of us knew that it was our best option.  Of course both of us convinced ourselves that we would only live in Woodville for a short time.  Once we landed real jobs we would get the hell out!

Now that we are making enough money to pay the mortgage, care for our children, and have a little extra room to breathe, we could easily get out of "The Ville".  So, why did I stay? When we shopped around for houses we looked in Luckey, Pemberville and Elmore. (Nope, didn't even look in Chicago or Montana...Woodville is actually a pretty good compromise for the two extremes, I suppose)  We put an offer in on a house in Elmore, but by the time the sellers were ready to come down to our price, I was over the cute little blue house with a white picket fence.  If we would have would have bid a little higher on the house in Elmore or if my Uncle Paul wouldn't have pointed out the many flaws in the other house we wanted to bid on in Woodville, we wouldn't have had a room on the first floor or the extra space when my Dad needed a room on the first floor.   Aaron was laid off from Martin Marietta the month that we were supposed to close on our current house.  When the lender learned this information, they wouldn't approve us for a loan without a co-signer.  At the time my Dad had no idea that he would eventually move into our house (that was already handicap accessible), but he could tell I wanted the house and agreed to co-sign on our behalf.

The same town that I rode bikes in, built forts in, collected spiders and fed grasshoppers in, smashed pumpkins on the roads in, rode the rocko planes in, was confirmed in, was NEVER going to live in...is now HOME. I can't imagine living anywhere else.

My children can do Woodmore jumping jacks.  The neighbors are some their best friends.  I am able to coach teams with my forever friends as we watch our children grow up together in a community that ALWAYS supports their own.  I have witnessed the overwhelming amount of love and generousity that is shared when someone is in need and I don't think that all communities can say the same. I know the parents of the girls that I call to babysit my children.  I am greeted by name when I enter the grocery store, the pharmacy, and the coffee shop. I can still name 90% of the classmates that I graduated high school with.  I can walk home from Jo Jo's...AND the beer tent! My mom and inlaws live close enough to help out, enjoy their grandchildren and we have ironed out the kinks of the drop by visits.  My kids have cousins that live here and great aunts and uncles that love them as much as their grandparents do. My house is the gathering place when friends come home for the holidays.   When we stripped wall paper we found rainbows and hearts drawn by our friends when they were little.

Why didn't I get out while I could and do I regret never leaving?  10 years ago I would have answered this question much differently, probably even 3 years ago, maybe even last year, but today, where I'm at now, I can say that I would move to Woodville again even if I didn't have to. I stay because I want to.  When the kids are out of the house, maybe I'll leave Woodville, but probably not.  On my list of regrets 'never leaving Woodville' doesn't even make the page.

So, yes, Sarah, "it's this piddly ass little town, but dude, it's home"!

THEE ROCKO PLANES

Where else could I live that I could coach my children with my best friend?

Over $50,000 in ONE year to cure Cystic Fibrosis...primary donors from Woodville and Elmore!

Lines a mile long to support Connor and ALL.

Kids of all ages bundle up to walk for Greta and Diabetes.

Wonderful church families to play with!

The list of why I stay in Woodville goes on and on...I don't care what you call it, it's home!

Almost to 20,000!

Since my blogger count is almost to 20,000 views (some people have 20,000 views each day and I'm excited that I will hit this mark in a year and a half;)) and really all I do is ramble on and on...and on about whatever I am thinking about when I get the urge to write, I figured I would see if any of you, the crazy people that read my scribbles, have any questions or topics that you would like me to write about or attempt to answer.

It's not that I'm having a writer's block because I'm full of, well, shit, but if you have any questions that you would like answered, here's your chance! 

(DISCLAIMER: I'm not going to attempt to answer questions like "what's the cure to cancer?", "why are people stupid?", ect...A-hole friends that will still probably send questions like this, I'm sure I'll laugh at them, but I'm not going to answer them)

Email the questions or possible topics to me at lstrongl@yahoo.com and I will try to answer them for you! 

When in Doubt, Call!

It has been a crazy morning at the office.  I am writing to unwind a little bit, stop shaking, and hopefully make my hives disappear while I'm at it.

Recently, one of the partners from our firm moved to Tennessee.  He was one of the attorneys that hired me and I have worked in a small firm atmosphere with him for seven years.  Quickly we started a friendship because in his words, I have "spunk".  He is more than 30 years my senior, but there is no age barrier when we communicate.   I have attended concerts with him and his spunky wife, enjoyed cocktails in his basement bar, they stop by when they drive through Woodville.  He is more than my boss, he is my friend.

When he told me that he was moving, I was excited for him.  His wife, Diane, is wild and crazy.  She wears flamboyant clothes, she says what's on her mind, she thinks outside of the box.  I think Nashville fits her personality perfectly!  Ed still plans to work remotely and I am his primary contact.  I gave him a big hug and reminded him that he still owes me a trip to the Village Idiot.  He assured me that the next time they were in town, he'd pay up.

This morning he called for assistance in filing a document.  I formatted the document and asked another attorney to sign the pleading on Ed's behalf.  The attorney had a question about the pleading so we called Ed. 

Ed has a heart condition.  He had a mild heart attack a few years ago. He has "in case" pills (nitroglycerin) that I tease him about when he gets worked up.  His face turns red when he's mad and when I can tell he's in a "mood", I tell him to give me his keys so that I have his "in case" pills when he needs them.

When we called him this morning, he admitted to the other attorney that he had taken a couple nitroglycerin pills and was feeling similar to how he felt when he had a heart attack.  They wrapped up their conversation, but they were supposed to talk again in just a couple minutes about the revisions to the pleading.  We called him a couple times before the alarm bells went off.  Then Dave asked for the contact numbers.

Ed JUST moved two weeks ago.  We don't have his current address, they don't have a home phone, Diane was at work and not answering her cell, Ed's cell went straight to voicemail, neither of his sisters answered the phone.  We called a friend of Diane's here in Toledo and she had their address and knew which hospital Diane works at.  We put in an emergency call to Diane with the hospital and called the Police in Nashville.

I told the attorney here that Ed was going to be pissed at him and he told me that he didn't care.  I'm not sure that before this incident I would have called the emergency squads simply because he didn't answer the phone when he was supposed to. Dave was confident in his decision and told me that if it was a false alarm it wouldn't be the first time he looked like a fool and certainly wouldn't be the last!

I am losing hope quickly that it was a false alarm.  Diane is supposed to call as soon as she can and it has been more than an hour now.  I have two great big hives, I'm still shaking and I want to throw up.  The lesson that I learned today is when in doubt, call.  Dave didn't hesitate for a minute in the crucial time.  He had me contacting people as soon as Diane didn't answer the call to her cell.  He called the police as soon as I had the number and their address in hand.

UPDATE:  They are admitting Ed for observation, but they don't think he is actively having a heart attack.  He turned the paramedics away when they arrived and told them he did not call them.  When I talked to Diane she jokingly asked me, "Are you surprised?".  I chuckled and told her no, but I was happy to hear that he was being his stubborn self because that is a good sign.  She forced him to make the trip to the ER and he personally called to thank us after he talked with the doctors.  I think he was calling more to make sure we were filing his pleading:)  Great big sigh of relief. 

UPDATE 2: Angiogram today.

My pray list is enormous right now...can everyone just stay safe for Easter, please!!!!

Can't wait to check fb!

Busy, but good weekend:)  Lunch with the Mights and the Clyde girls...only one thing that I HAD to do all weekend and it actually went very smoothly!  After delivery I drove around BG for a few minutes just because...lots of memories there!

CAMILLE IS PLAYING SOCCER!! So proud of my shy, little sweetheart!  She repeatedly said no when we asked her if she wanted to play, so we didn't sign her up.  One of the teams needs another player and somehow I convinced her to try it...and she LOVES IT!  Yay!

Higher life insurance premium because my Dad died from cancer.  Isn't it enough that he died from cancer!? I have to pay more because of it...what a kick in the face. UGHHHH. 

Really over cancer in general this week.  Continued prayers for Connor AND his family.  Kudos to Sarah for not exploding on the gentlemen that commented on Connor's mohawk haircut...I would have lost it! I heard a saying that I'm sure I've heard a thousand times, but when I heard it yesterday I thought of dear Sarah.

"God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called."

Your positive attitude is inspiring. Your love for your son is so very obvious in each word you write.  It breaks my heart to read your words, but I hope you know that your courage and strength is admirable.  It pushes others to give that extra kiss and squeeze when they're late for work.  I hope you can feel the love that everyone is sending to you!!

Prayers for the Mights...not looking forward to seeing Ry and Ady this week. They think I have unlimited knowledge on the subject of death and dying.  I managed to dodge the questions this weekend, but I'm sure they will corner me soon, especially since Smoky died so soon after their puppy was killed.  It's hard to answer the type of questions they will ask.

Lots and lots of prayers for Mugga and the rest of the Bowen clan.  One of the sweetest ladies around town, who is giving and kind to everyone she knows.  Prayers to my aunt, uncle and cousins as they stand strongly united in the waiting room...oh, how I hate the waiting room. Prayers to my pseudo aunts, uncles and cousins and Grandpa Bowen as well.

Facebook Withdrawl Week 5

Super sore from square dancing...pathetic!  Clark was surprised! Had a nice time meeting their friends:)

Beautiful baby shower, beautiful Mommy, wonderful friends.

My cousin should be a party planner.  Cowboy boots two nights in a row...YEEEEEHAAAWWW!

Loved the fork decor for the soon to be Jessica Fork!  Adorable, packed house for a super sweet friend:)

Time with my Texas girl makes me smile...I was in a MOOD on Sunday.  Laura and Jess turned it around for me;)  Don't know what I would do without all of my girlfriends!

So sick of losing in volleyball! Last week-acceptable.  This week-NOT.

DO NOT stop by my house this week...it's trashed!  No time to clean or put things away or breathe! (Nevermind, started the cleaning frenzy last night, to be continued tonight and in shape for drop ins the rest of the week:) I even swept out my car...passengers understand how badly needed this was!)

Special prayers for couple ladies this week. I hope they can feel the extra love.

That's it.  I hear bits and pieces of things on fb...I'm ready to be back on the grid!