My first mammogram experience has turned into more waiting and the very real possibility that shit's going to get a lot more real.
Take off your top and undergarments from the waist up. Place your clothes in a locker and meet me in this waiting room. Check, done. I can do this! I've got this. Piece of cake.
Ok, Laura, follow me. Can you tell me a little about what is going on? Did you find the spot you're concerned about? Can you show me?
Yes, right here. I found it three weeks and ago and this is where it's landed me.
Oh yes, I see it, it's indented. (not good, you want symmetry, not indents) Let's mark it. Are there any other areas of concern?
Yes, I have a couple lymph nodes that are scaring me.
Ok, let's mark those, too.
** My note to women that are preparing for their first mammogram: It's not that bad. I mean, after you've had three monsters and a blood clot, you've pretty much lost ALL modesty, but other than the awkwardness of them taking your female parts and placing them on the squisher, it's not that bad. It didn't hurt and I really don't have anything to squish!
Picture, picture, picture, picture, picture, picture. Ok, wait in the waiting room for the ultrasound tech.
I watched 4 women come and go while I waited in the waiting room...I knew it wasn't good. Then the same beautiful smiling nurse came back. Why is she back? I'm supposed to be waiting for an ultrasound tech!
Honey, the radiologist wants to get a few (HUNDRED) more views.
Back to the mammogram room. I'm pretty sure the mam machine was spinning at about the exact speed as my head at this point. They had the machine in every possible angle and they were taking pictures the entire time. When they finally stopped, I was pretty confident in their concern. The shape of their faces was different and although they were nice from the moment I walked in, they were somehow even more caring now.
I waited some more. What do you do in a waiting room when you're pretty sure the outcome is going to suck? Watch TV? I'm not a big TV fan to begin with so that didn't really help. Read the materials they have laying around? I'm not a big fan of waiting room reading materials. I just stared straight ahead, blankly. I cracked jokes via text to my girlfriends. In the back of my mind though, I thought: this can not be happening! I am so not ready to do this. I knew I'd get cancer at some point in my life, but seriously, I'm only 31!!! 31!!!
After what felt like hours, but also like seconds, the ultrasound tech retrieved me for some more fondling, except this time she only concentrated on a couple spots. Picture after picture of the same two spots. Measure, click, measure, contrast, click, measure, click, contrast. Over and over and over. She attempted to talk to me, but I have no clue what we talked about. When she was done she said the radiologist would be in to see me.
NOT WONDERFUL. The radiologist generally only talks to the patients that they want to see for further evaluation. NOT WONDERFUL. I do not have time for this. I don't want further testing.
Calmly the radiologist entered the room and told me that I have a couple suspicious areas of concern. He wants to have a biopsy of them and would recommend a breast MRI as well.
I didn't really interrogate him. When I woke up from a dead sleep 3 weeks ago I knew it wasn't good.
I returned to work and sat down at my desk to call the surgeon. I need an appointment for biopsies.
4/8/13
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Take off your top and undergarments from the waist up. Place your clothes in a locker and meet me in this waiting room. Check, done. I can do this! I've got this. Piece of cake.
Ok, Laura, follow me. Can you tell me a little about what is going on? Did you find the spot you're concerned about? Can you show me?
Yes, right here. I found it three weeks and ago and this is where it's landed me.
Oh yes, I see it, it's indented. (not good, you want symmetry, not indents) Let's mark it. Are there any other areas of concern?
Yes, I have a couple lymph nodes that are scaring me.
Ok, let's mark those, too.
** My note to women that are preparing for their first mammogram: It's not that bad. I mean, after you've had three monsters and a blood clot, you've pretty much lost ALL modesty, but other than the awkwardness of them taking your female parts and placing them on the squisher, it's not that bad. It didn't hurt and I really don't have anything to squish!
Picture, picture, picture, picture, picture, picture. Ok, wait in the waiting room for the ultrasound tech.
I watched 4 women come and go while I waited in the waiting room...I knew it wasn't good. Then the same beautiful smiling nurse came back. Why is she back? I'm supposed to be waiting for an ultrasound tech!
Honey, the radiologist wants to get a few (HUNDRED) more views.
Back to the mammogram room. I'm pretty sure the mam machine was spinning at about the exact speed as my head at this point. They had the machine in every possible angle and they were taking pictures the entire time. When they finally stopped, I was pretty confident in their concern. The shape of their faces was different and although they were nice from the moment I walked in, they were somehow even more caring now.
I waited some more. What do you do in a waiting room when you're pretty sure the outcome is going to suck? Watch TV? I'm not a big TV fan to begin with so that didn't really help. Read the materials they have laying around? I'm not a big fan of waiting room reading materials. I just stared straight ahead, blankly. I cracked jokes via text to my girlfriends. In the back of my mind though, I thought: this can not be happening! I am so not ready to do this. I knew I'd get cancer at some point in my life, but seriously, I'm only 31!!! 31!!!
After what felt like hours, but also like seconds, the ultrasound tech retrieved me for some more fondling, except this time she only concentrated on a couple spots. Picture after picture of the same two spots. Measure, click, measure, contrast, click, measure, click, contrast. Over and over and over. She attempted to talk to me, but I have no clue what we talked about. When she was done she said the radiologist would be in to see me.
NOT WONDERFUL. The radiologist generally only talks to the patients that they want to see for further evaluation. NOT WONDERFUL. I do not have time for this. I don't want further testing.
Calmly the radiologist entered the room and told me that I have a couple suspicious areas of concern. He wants to have a biopsy of them and would recommend a breast MRI as well.
I didn't really interrogate him. When I woke up from a dead sleep 3 weeks ago I knew it wasn't good.
I returned to work and sat down at my desk to call the surgeon. I need an appointment for biopsies.
4/8/13
Uploaded with ImageShack.us
Proverbs 3:5-6
New International Version (NIV)
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.[a]
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.[a]
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