Club Chemo

When they told me that I had cancer, I texted Britt.  I needed a few pictures.  For me?  For the kids?  I don't know.  I need them to remember normal.  I need to remember normal.  People always talk about life BEFORE cancer and LIVING with cancer.  There's a big difference.  Now, I'm living it.

Britt squeezed us in, wore a pink hope shirt and refused payment...I am not sure that she'll ever know how much the pictures mean to me.

 

 

Soon enough though, "normal" was simply make believe.  My phone was ringing nonstop on Tuesday morning as we tried to set up all of the insurance and doctors and testing.  I was able to wrap most of the work that HAD to be completed before I took off prior to leaving, but I do have a few loose ends that are driving me batty.  When I left work, I was still feeling overwhelmed, but really I couldn't have concentrated on another task if I would have been able to stay and attempt to work.

 

Either way, I had to leave earlier than I intended to and Wednesday morning would come all too soon.  PARTIALLY because my oldest decided that it was just a GRAND time to get sick.  She also decided to attempt to make it to the bathroom each time verses simply throwing up in the puke bowl I had oh so gently placed next to her when she told me that she wasn't feeling well.  Instead, she thought the carpet...and her bedding...and the hallway carpet...and the rugs in the bathroom...and the floor in the bathroom...and of course the toilet ALL needed to be washed and sanitized.  THE DAY BEFORE I RECEIVE MY FIRST CHEMO TREATMENT.

 

Hey, why freaking not??  It was like your worst nightmare on crack, but I didn't even question it.  I continued to talk to some of my girlfriends like: Hey, this happens every day, right??  Thanks for cleaning up the kitchen and reminding me to breathe, Amanda, Krista and Marc.   Thanks for coming as soon as I texted you, Heid and Stace.  Next time I'll wait a few more minutes and let you guys clean up the puke;)

 

So, like it or not, Wednesday morning was there.  Bright and early, with pouring rain as Cleveland has greeted us with both times we've made the trip so far.  Nervous, tired, scared, but also so very loved.  Aaron cleaned and organized our room and all of my appointments are mapped out on a handy app (he uses his phone to do things other than facebook...I'm not sure why? ;)). Heidi loaded the car with a reassuring smile and choked down all the pain that my fight is bringing back to life for her.

 

Jake and Laine were both there to greet me after my echo cardiogram.  An echo cardiogram is a simple test for most people.  They were all very anxious to see me when I walked out because we all THOUGHT this test would take 20 minutes or so.  Of course this is on a normal person!  My ribs are too close together and the ultrasound beams couldn't penetrate accurately.  Instead I received poke #1 of 3 so that they could shoot some dye into me and get a better baseline of my heart...GAHHHH...COME ON.  JUST SOMETHING RUN SMOOTHLY, PLEASE?!?!?

 

Baby brother.

Once we started meeting with my team, things looked up.  Well, I guess that's a lie. AFTER the assistant to my nurse read my survey and told me that I had to meet with a social worker because I scored my anxiety at a 10 and I FLIPPED out on him. I told him that I had more than sufficient (I made him add MORE THAN) support and did not need one more person to talk to:)) After that, my nurse "slipped" and said she thought I was Her2 negative.  I tried not to get my hopes up, but good GOD was I praying that she was right.  SHE WAS:HER2 Negative!

My nurse, Nancy (Heidi thinks she's a paparazzi and I'm a movie star):
















After we completed the crash course, Chemo 101, we also met with my WONDERFUL doctor.  She's amazing.  She confirmed what Nancy had let slip and we all breathed a big sigh of relief.  Less treatment and a little less aggressive without the lovely HER2 and we're clinging to the good when we get it!


Perfect timing by one of my forever friends and sister when we want to play with people.  When you're at the clinic, you have appointment after appointment.  SOMEHOW, my beautiful friend met us smiling just as we were walking into the room before chemo.  Thanks, Kate.  Love you so much and I can't wait to open the bottle when this is all done!

But then the buzzer sounded (yes, the clinic uses buzzers) and it was my turn.  CRAP!  CRAP it's my turn.  Do you think people turn back when they are this far?  I probably would if I didn't have the three most beautiful babies to care for.   But, I do.  And they are worth it.

 

Trying to recreate what Britt did...unsuccessfully:)

After much discussion about my first IV and a failed attempt by nurse Katie, they went with my first IV of the day.  Half way through the treatment it didn't hold up. So they switched arms.  I'm attempting to do this treatment without a port.  Selfishly, they are already going to make enough scars on my young body and if I can avoid one, I'm going to give it a shot!

Sleeping peacefully...CLUB CHEMO.  WOOT FREAKING WOOT!! ;)

 

 

We tried to move chemo to Thursday for our convenience, but the bar owners are not listening to the customer demands. Everyone knows that the clubs are more rocking on Thursdays than they are on Wednesdays!! But the Clyde Quick Trip isn't open on Fridays.  So, we're going to continue to visit Club Chemo every other Wednesday followed by a stop at Clyde Quick Trip on the following Thursday! The day after chemo I have to get a shot of Nuelasta that helps to regenerate white blood cells...and makes my body feel like I have needles in my bones.

The treatment plan:

ACT Chemotherapy stands for A-Adriamycin, C-Cytoxan, T-Taxol

My first dose of A&C was administered Wednesday, April 24th.  I will receive 3 more doses of this cancer killing concoction over the next 7 weeks.  Next, they will switch it up a little and give me the T drug for another 4 doses, every other week.   This is protocol for the type of breast cancer that I have (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma: Estrogen-receptor positive (ER+), Progestrone-receptor positive (PR+), AND HER2-NEGATIVE!)  Her2 Negative was a big positive we learned before receiving my first treatment.  If I would have been positive, it would have added another 8 weeks of chemo AND nine months of hormone therapy at the tail end of treatment.  If my body is able to take all of the doses  without delay, the last chemo will be August 1st.

After chemo is completed, they will give me a small break for my body to recover and prepare for surgery.   When my body is ready, I will have a double mastectomy and reconstruction at the same time.   We haven't really talked about the recovery period or anything in depth about the surgery yet...my head is still spinning pretty fast simply trying to wrap my brain around all of the fun things chemo has to offer.

35 Radiation treatments will round out the first phase of the treatment plan and we haven't really went much farther than this in our discussions.

 

The blanket in the picture was an anonymous gift that I discovered the gift giver after investigation.  I picked this one for the first treatment because my Aunt Con delivered the blanket the night before my first appointment with my gynecologist.  I laid in my green chair and traced the names of my babies and prepared to fight.  Thanks, Rich.

His one and only goal:  Make sure we walk many long halls together until we are old and gray.  He's doing everything in his power to make it happen.