Enough is enough

I have a blog in draft form that may/may not ever reach publish post status.  It's about worry and anxiety.  I wrote it yesterday when I thought I might have to check myself into the part of the hospital with rubber rooms.

And then I went home and rushed the kids to soccer practice. * Great, soccer practice!  I'm such a good parent for coaching a soccer team.  I certainly don't want to shoot laser beams out of my eyes at the person that volunteered me for another freaking activity. Really, I was thinking: GRRRRRRR...when am I going to fit in working out when I'm at the stupid soccer field every freaking night?  I don't know how to run a soccer practice!  I don't know anything about the sport other than some of the parents on the sidelines are cray cray and I can't get my kids to stay on the field without holding my hand!

So, I pried a few shy children away from their mothers.  I got them all going on a few drills and Camille had to go to the restroom.  In my mind I was annoyed as I had obviously asked both of the little monsters to use the restroom before we packed into the van for practice, but instead told her: "Ok, we can do that!"

BUT, the door to the restroom was locked. I asked her to squat.  Which she was fine with, (I mean we do go camping;)), but she was NOT fine with was the 2 effing drips of urine that fell in her underwear when I pulled up her pants.  This caused meltdown number one which, OF COURSE, turned into number two because if Cami isn't practicing, bet your beans Keegan isn't either.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

I managed to get Cami back on the field before the end of practice, but Keegan sat in the van the rest of practice...the two kids that I'm volunteering my time to coach for SAT IN THE FREAKING VAN! 

We rode home in silence after meltdown number three occured. I won't share in order to save my child some embarrassment, but I was done by this point.  I texted a couple friends that I needed xanax. I yelled at my mother.  I told my husband that MM could take his 83 hour work week and shove it up their ass.  DONE.

Enough is enough.

I started picking up my disasterous house, but stopped in my tracks when I heard: Mommy, I don't feel good.  I grabbed the puke bucket and sprinted up the stairs.  I caught it!! 22/24 in 24 hours!  Way to go mom!!  Keegan was sick every hour for 24 hours.  Mimi and Dad each caught a puke, too.  But seriously, 22/24 is pretty freaking amazing if ya ask me!! 

OMG!!!!!!  I'm so going to lose it.  ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

I managed to get into work for a few hours the next day and took a trip to Bowling Green to make an information exchange with a client...with a puke bucket, Gatorade and 3 crazy kids.  When I returned home though, I read a beautiful message from a friend and went running.  I was feeling better.  Tired, but better. 

I sat back down on the couch with Keegan after I caught one of his final pukes and kissed his white-blond hair.  I looked down at the new bracelet that Amy gave to me and I could feel it: BLESSED.

Knock, knock, knock: Pharmacy delivery of all of my favorite bad for you snacks and drinks.  Every prescription that I needed was filled!  I am so very blessed by all of the wonderful, supportive people that surround me.   I had to hold back the tears.  Overwhelmingly loved and blessed.

 



I was able to spend some quality time with friends that I desperately needed, I have personal shoppers that cater to me, I have lots of family time scheduled for the weekend!

Maybe God finally agreed with the memo that I have been sending Him on REPEAT the past couple weeks? I have been praying and telling him for a while now: Enough is enough!

More likely though, I needed the reminder from my friends and family that I am strong enough to handle it. That they love me when I admit that I can't do it all.  And most of all: even when life is hard, I AM BLESSED.

But seriously God, enough is enough! ;)

*Heavy sarcasm.  More than normal Laura sarcasm;)