When I'm not "on" everyone reacts to the negative energy. By "on" I don't mean smiling, sunshine-y, pooping rainbows (because that doesn't happen all that often), but EVERYONE can tell by a simple glance what kind of mood I'm in. And, as people have pointed out on several occasions, it sets the mood for others. When I'm being impossible, I make it impossible for everyone else. When I'm throwing up skittles, it's hard not to be happy with me.
Since I'm aware that my mood has a direct effect on the moods of the people around me, I try to maintain a positive outlook when I'm in public. Actually, at home I'm the one that is generally bringing the positive energy, too. Sometimes it can be exhausting. Today I worked a long day at the office. As I walked into the madness of preparing three monsters for a soccer game after rushing them to gymnastics and trying to force food down their throats, I maintained a happy disposition. I asked my partner what was bothering him, since obviously by his disposition, he was frustrated...
He went on to tell me that the kids walked in, dropped everything where they were at, Keegan had an accident, and thanked me for leaving my coffee mugs in my bag for who knows how long.
I tried to laugh it off. I asked him if he ever left anything lay around the house? I asked him if he ever left a project unfinished? I attempted to lift his spirits with joking and poking fun.
He responded that he wasn't in the mood for my playful banter and to just leave him alone.
Then, I let his negative mood bring me down. I shut down; went silent. The off switch isn't my most attractive feature. We drove to the game in silence. I put on my happy face while 10 monsters jumped all over me and I tickled and twirled and fixed hair and hugged them. After the game though, we drove home without words. I turned off again.
I washed and packed and he washed and packed, separately. I put my 15 pairs of shoes in the proper spot in the correct closet. I went on a hunt for any and all remaining coffee mugs in the car and washed them out without speaking a word. (I did refrain from a sarcastic remark like: "There, are you happy now? All of my shit is put away. Someday maybe I can be perfect like you!!" A couple years ago I would have said it;))
But before I turned in for bed, I asked him to please think about this next time he shrugs me off because I'm a slob and he's not in the mood to tolerate me: Hmmm, that's her Sunday School bag. She did get all of the kids fed and out the door for 9am Sunday School and attended church while I slept in. As soon as she walked in the door from church I asked her to go to my parents. She set down her things, changed and went to my parents without even a sigh of exasperation even though she had yet to sit down at her house all weekend. Maybe, she didn't remember the coffee mugs were in her bag? Maybe, just maybe, I should give her the benefit of the doubt?
Now he is playing video games, his release. I am writing, my release. Tomorrow all will be well with the world, but since this is my only time to write this week I wanted to touch on how to stay positive.
Be aware that your mood effects those around you. Try not to feed the negative energy, but instead bundle the negative energy up and toss it in the garbage. If instead of shutting down, I would have walked away, wrapped the negativity up and tossed it in the garbage before I hopped in the van, I could have reminded him that I'm human and I'm sorry that I left the coffee cups in the Sunday School bag. Most likely he would have responded calmly and lovingly to this approach and the remainder of the evening would have went much differently.
Even when you're not "on", try to stay calm and positive...Live and Learn, I suppose.
What I look like when I'm not "on".
Since I'm aware that my mood has a direct effect on the moods of the people around me, I try to maintain a positive outlook when I'm in public. Actually, at home I'm the one that is generally bringing the positive energy, too. Sometimes it can be exhausting. Today I worked a long day at the office. As I walked into the madness of preparing three monsters for a soccer game after rushing them to gymnastics and trying to force food down their throats, I maintained a happy disposition. I asked my partner what was bothering him, since obviously by his disposition, he was frustrated...
He went on to tell me that the kids walked in, dropped everything where they were at, Keegan had an accident, and thanked me for leaving my coffee mugs in my bag for who knows how long.
I tried to laugh it off. I asked him if he ever left anything lay around the house? I asked him if he ever left a project unfinished? I attempted to lift his spirits with joking and poking fun.
He responded that he wasn't in the mood for my playful banter and to just leave him alone.
Then, I let his negative mood bring me down. I shut down; went silent. The off switch isn't my most attractive feature. We drove to the game in silence. I put on my happy face while 10 monsters jumped all over me and I tickled and twirled and fixed hair and hugged them. After the game though, we drove home without words. I turned off again.
I washed and packed and he washed and packed, separately. I put my 15 pairs of shoes in the proper spot in the correct closet. I went on a hunt for any and all remaining coffee mugs in the car and washed them out without speaking a word. (I did refrain from a sarcastic remark like: "There, are you happy now? All of my shit is put away. Someday maybe I can be perfect like you!!" A couple years ago I would have said it;))
But before I turned in for bed, I asked him to please think about this next time he shrugs me off because I'm a slob and he's not in the mood to tolerate me: Hmmm, that's her Sunday School bag. She did get all of the kids fed and out the door for 9am Sunday School and attended church while I slept in. As soon as she walked in the door from church I asked her to go to my parents. She set down her things, changed and went to my parents without even a sigh of exasperation even though she had yet to sit down at her house all weekend. Maybe, she didn't remember the coffee mugs were in her bag? Maybe, just maybe, I should give her the benefit of the doubt?
Now he is playing video games, his release. I am writing, my release. Tomorrow all will be well with the world, but since this is my only time to write this week I wanted to touch on how to stay positive.
Be aware that your mood effects those around you. Try not to feed the negative energy, but instead bundle the negative energy up and toss it in the garbage. If instead of shutting down, I would have walked away, wrapped the negativity up and tossed it in the garbage before I hopped in the van, I could have reminded him that I'm human and I'm sorry that I left the coffee cups in the Sunday School bag. Most likely he would have responded calmly and lovingly to this approach and the remainder of the evening would have went much differently.
Even when you're not "on", try to stay calm and positive...Live and Learn, I suppose.
What I look like when I'm not "on".
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