Nothing like it!

I'm still "training" (BAHAHAHAHA, this is hilarious to me because my sad attempt at getting in "warrior dash" shape is PATHETIC), so this will be a quick post unless the words can't be suppressed (sometimes it's like an erupting volcano when I write and no matter how badly I want to stop, the words keep spewing out like hot lava).

Anyways, nothing like it...

• The first time your baby is placed on your chest and you get to gaze at them.
• The first dance as a married couple.
• The greeting from your monsters when you arrive home from work (this never seems to get old for me:)).
• Unexpected surprises in the mail...the little things.
• Your first kiss

Ok, so my first kiss was not that magical.  Actually, I walked into the girls locker room, yanked about a mile of paper towel out of the dispenser, scrubbed my tongue with the paper towel, and acted like it was the most disgusting thing EVER, but you get the idea, right?

Those moments that can't be compared to anything in the world?  The "Nothing like it" feeling that you get when you experience a moment that can't be described?

Well, I said "yes" again and I'm so happy that I did.   I'm going to attempt to explain why I'm so happy that I haven't been practicing "no" lately, but I don't think it's something that can truly be explained in words.

I sighed as the WYO president asked me to step into the roll of head coach. I rolled my eyes through the mandatory coaching meetings (I HATE meetings). I flipped through the jam packed planner and managed to select a few dates to practice. I checked a couple websites and dusted the cobwebs off my glove. 

By happy chance, I learned to play softball from quite a few wonderful coaches during my youth.  I was fortunate enough to play ball under the direction of Coach Lee and his knowledge of the game can only be described as amazing.   The hours that he spent perfecting our softball game, playing with line-ups, teaching signals, encouraging us to dig deeper, didn't go unnoticed.  We had the record to show his dedication to the game year in and year out.  From the day of our first practice, he demanded respect.  He was giving his all to this team and expected every player to do the same.  He sometimes stopped us in the middle of the game and many times after the game, even after disappointing loses, to point out that this time, these years, each inning and every at bat, would be some of the most wonderful times of our lives. Only much later in life did I truly grasp what he was saying.  Now I would give anything to play in just one more softball game with my high school teammates under the wings of Coach Lee.

With all of the things that I learned from him, I feel much more comfortable as a coach on the softball field than I did on the volleyball court!  I liked coaching the high school girls and learned many valuable lessons from them, but coaching these young girls on the softball field is a completely different experience!  At the first practice I didn't know what to expect.  For more than half of our team, this is the first time they have played organized summer ball.  I know many of my players since they are Lilly's classmates, our neighbors, or they attend our church.  I figured if nothing else, this would force one-on-one time with Lilly.  At home her brother and sister demand more attention from Mommy.

When I said yes to taking the team, I had absolutely no idea how rewarding it would be.  The girls anxiously wait in the on deck circle.  Some of them ask me "If she gets out do I have to wait another inning?" or "When is it my turn to bat again?".  They nervously step up to the plate not wanting to disappoint their cheering teammates.  They turn toward the third base line to make sure I'm still there.  Encouragingly, I yell to them what we have practiced. They swing and connect; many of them for the very first time in a game!  They run as fast as their little legs will take them and they beam with pride as the reach first base.  As Katrina would say,  you can almost hear their heart beating out of their chests! The look in their eyes is indescribable.  To say that they are sparkling doesn't quite do it justice.  I can look into them and instantly I am back at my first high school practice, listening to the wise words of my coach: "These will be some of the best moments of your life!"

So, thank you again to the parents that have sent me nice messages and facebook posts, but honestly I should be thanking you for allowing me the pleasure of coaching your beautiful little girls.  To watch them get their first hits, to watch them slap hands with each other when they make an out in the field, and scoop them up and throw them in the air when they run to me and tell me that they did something well.  There is nothing like it.  The look in their eyes is worth more than a thousand thank you's!  There's just nothing like it!

In Another's Eyes

"Mommy, don't go!" The beautiful, blue eyed, little girl yells.  She is kicking and screaming as she is ripped out of her mother's arms.  The sweet baby girl sobs the entire drive to her new home.  She will be staying with her Mommy's friends for the next 10 months.  She doesn't understand why her mother has to leave.  Her Mommy, the person that has tucked her in each night for the last 3 years, serves in a platoon that was selected to tour outside of the US.  A part of the world that certainly isn't safe for toddlers.  Deployed for nearly a year.

.............................

BOOM!

I don't hear a sound, but I can see the shrapnel and debris falling from the sky like it's sprinkling; raining war.  I should hear the return fire.  I should stand up.  I need to find my platoon.  I yell, not knowing if anyone will hear me, or if anyone else survived the bomb. "Where did that come from?  Where is our back up? Where is Mike?"

A brother from my platoon runs to me.  He grabs me with both hands and pulls me to my feet.  I can tell he is screaming, but I can't hear him.  I can read his lips. "Get up! Let's go! He's gone!"

"Fuck you, man.  That was supposed to be me!  Mike could tell that I wasn't feeling well today so he told me that he'd take the lead.  That was supposed to be me! What am I going to tell his wife and kids? What am I going to tell his Mom?"

I am pulled into the helicopter.  As they begin to remove the shrapnel from my face and hands, the day replays in my head for the first time.  I don't know it then, but this will be the first time in a never ending series that this day will to replay in my mind. 

I see it when I'm sleeping.  I see it while I'm awake.  Mike died 52 years ago. The scars on my face and hands are barely visible under the wrinkles, but that day, each and every detail of that day, is replayed in my head more often than I care to admit.

..............................

"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.  If war should take my first born son, please help me to stand strong until my days on earth are done."  I finish the prayer I have been saying each night for the last 3 months.  I cross off another day on my calendar.  One day closer to October when my nineteen year old baby comes home from tour.  I can't help the tears that are falling.  I look up to find my 14 year old daughter watching me. 

"Why are you crying, Mom? Is everything alright?" She instinctively inquires.

"Yes, babe, I was just praying for your brother; for his safety, for the safety of his friends that he knows as brothers and sisters, and for all of the men and women that are fighting for our country. I'm scared because I haven't been able to reach your brother for five days now and when he called last he said he was in dangerous territory." I try to regain my composure and maintain a strong front for his baby sister.  That's what he would want.

She jumps up to grab the phone and I can tell she is talking to him, my baby boy!  I can't stop the tears.  Relief, excitement, and joy as she quickly wraps up her conversation and tells her big brother that Mom's ready to have a break down due to worry.

"Hey, Mom! I'm fine.  We were on high alert and weren't allowed to use the phones or Internet.  We're safe now and I just called quick to tell you that I love you."  He casually rattles off as if he stayed out at a party too late or a concert ran over. 

"I love you, too, Bud.   It is so good to hear your voice." I try to pull myself together to ask him if he's been eating enough, if he's been getting any rest and if he's doing ok, but as we say "I love you" for the last time I feel like I'm ready to explode.  He is fine THIS time.  Five more months until he walks off that plane onto US soil.  What if he re enlists?  What if he is deployed again?  

I walk my daughter back to her room and give her an extra squeeze. I tell her how proud I am of her and her big brother, that I love her. 

I return to my room and kneel.  "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If war should take my first born son, please help me to stand strong until my days on earth are done." 

................................

I could write short little stories like this all night.   These three are drawn from real life and my worst nightmares.

When I tell my children that I will be home after work, they act like I will be gone forever!  I can't imagine leaving them while I was stationed in a foreign county.  I would have to tell them that I would be home soon, but I would also know that I could not guarantee this.  And soon would not be tonight, but months and months and months away.  Can you imagine?  A facebook friend of mine took in a little girl while her mother served out her tour...more than 10 months long.

A friend of mine tells a similar story to the second one that I described.  When he returned home from tour, I was so worried about him; about the scars on his hands and the damage to his hearing.   I cried when I saw the scars on his face and this was after quite some time healing in a Germany hospital.  He wiped my tears and told me not to cry for him, but to cry for his brother that paid the ultimate sacrifice.  Cry for the fallen heroes and their family and friends because they are the ones that deserve my tears, not him.

The third one is completely fictional, but I did cry when I was writing it, because it's real to so many families.

Matt, one of my friends that is also a veteran, really wanted to write a post about Memorial Day.   After writing and writing, he was unable to put into words exactly what he wanted to say.  But I hope that he understands that things, places, events...people, that have such profound meaning in a person's life can't possibly be described in a blog post.  Honestly, it's not possible to describe the feelings that a Veteran has about Memorial Day in a blog, a book, or a movie because the feelings and emotions are indescribable, untellable, and beyond comprehension to us civilians.

Even though we will never fully comprehend the sacrifices that all of the people in the armed forces have made, we can try to show them how much they are appreciated.  We can show them that we are eternally grateful for their service.  That we will continue to pray for the fallen heroes, the surviving friends and family, Matt and all of the rest of the Veterans, the wives, the husbands, the mothers, the fathers, the daughters and the sons of those that serve.  Not JUST on the holiday weekend, but ALWAYS.  Wear your red, white, and blue.  Bow your head in honor.  Put your hand over your heart. Raise your flags high and REMEMBER the price our of freedoms.   CELEBRATE the Veterans with us today.   Take a look into another's eyes so that you can better recognize all that they do for our country. Teach your children to do the same.

And I'm proud to be an American,
where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.
~Lee Greenwood

Woodville Memorial Day Parade 8:30am

Elmore Memorial Day Parade 10:30am

Crazy Daisies Troop 10576

Daisy Scouts Year End Party 2012

First Grade Girls LOVE to JUMP!!

And play in the water:)

Super impressed by the healthy eaters:)  All of them picked to eat carrots and at bedtime I cut up 8 large apples and set out an entire bowl of grapes...they devoured them!

Striking a pose before the scavenger hunt!!

They were totally into figuring out the clues...

By the end of the scavenger hunt they found all of the supplies to make a shirt!!

A stem of daisy from each daisy:)

Thank you for all of your hardwork Stacey!!

Wouldn't be a sleepover without a camp fire...and of course SMORES!!!!

So proud of all of the girls. 

 CRAZY DAISIES!!!

They were pinned and received multiple patches for all of their hard work!!

AWESOME SHIRTS:)  They all did their own designs:)