Do You Yell at Your Kids?

Do you yell at your kids? I was asked this question recently by a FRIEND that actually knows me pretty well. 

You always seem so put together! This statement was said out loud by another friend that I feel knows me pretty well.

How do you get everything done and still have time to read and write?

Although I'm happy that I portray this image of a well put together mother, wife, daughter, employee, etc., I work each day to get everything that NEEDS to be done and leave the things that don't.   Many people struggle each day to get it all done even IF it looks like they have it all together. Since they have done it all for so long, they expect to be able to do it, other people expect them to be able to do it, usually it gets done! To the outside world they may seem to have it all, all the kinks worked out and running smoothly, but sometimes that is simply the picture painted for the world to see.

From experience, I can say that often when it feels like the world is crashing in on me, that the outside world, even my closest friends, might not know. To the facebook world, to people outside of my house, I appear to be sunshine and rainbows! (Ben even teases me and tells me that my poo probably smells like roses);) When all the things that are expected each day are too much to handle, usually I can put on my game face and nobody would know that I'm struggling. (I'm not feeling like this right now (so don't email me asking if I'm ok), but I have often and I'm sure I will again and again). I'm sure you know the feeling...like you're treading water, barely staying above it!  (TOO MANY TITLES is  what I picked as my blogger name when I started blogging-there is a reason).

So, in an attempt to clear a couple things up...facebook is not real life and the 5 minutes shared in passing does not paint the entire picture.  The brief interactions and postings do allow people to share in bits and pieces of other's lives.  Try to keep in mind that the bits and pieces that people are sharing are the bits and pieces that they feel comfortable sharing with the world. 

Most of the time, the things we share on facebook are the bright and sparkly moments of the work of 'art' each day.  Some days, behind the facebook screen and under the makeup, the work of art may actually look like a Van Gogh painting.  Super big YAY for this type of day!!! But honestly, how often does this type of day happen?  Other days the work of art looks more similar one to of Keegan's paintings: all over the page, colors running together, can't really even make out what the painting is supposed to be.  Most of the time it is easier to portray to the outside world that your world appears to be similar to a Van Gogh work of art rather than admit that it actually looks more similar to Keegan's.

Do I yell at my children?  ALL THE TIME!! Do I get frustrated with them, want to throw something, overreact to situations, lose my patience?  ALL THE TIME!!  Other than Aaron, they probably deal with my expectations (that are often too high) the most often.  I expect Lilly to help her brother and sister get ready in the morning.  I expect Camille to dress herself.  I expect Keegan to help pick up the toys.  When they don't meet my expectations I get frustrated with them.  Sometimes I overreact.  Sometimes I yell.  Sometimes they are put in time out for things that really aren't a big deal at all, but at the time they either need to go to time out or I will lose it!  When we are in public, most of the time my children pick up the paint brush and paint Van Gogh.  They are not always well behaved once we get home.  Their whining voices reappear, they throw more tantrums...they don't have to paint at home.

To address the 'looking put together' comment, I will paint a picture of myself at the beginning of the day (especially the days that I have to get the children to the sitter before I go to work)!  I attempt to wake up before the children so that I can get ready by myself...it never happens.  Camille is always up before me-now matter how early I rise.  She follows me around and I trip over her the entire time I am dressing. By the time I wake up the other two, I'm running late because Camille wanted her hair done when I was getting dressed.  I comb Lilly's hair, put on Camille and Keegan's shoes and pack lunches...WHILE they are eating breakfast.  Lilly puts toothpaste on the toothbrushes while I finish packing lunches-the entire time they are all yelling at me that someone is doing something wrong and I'm ignoring their tattles. By the time I load them in the van, I'm exhausted and really my day hasn't even started! My hair is always soaking wet as we scramble to the car, sometimes I haven't even brushed it yet.  Often I add makeup when I stop at traffic lights in an attempt to look as if I slept well and that I made an effort to look nice since I work in a profession that image is key.  This is before 8am...most of you see me after 5...when I have had a chance to breathe and think! I have had time to throw a braid in my hair and apply mascara.  I am not always put together, I have simply painted the picture to appear to be put together.

How do I get it all done? Simple!!!  I don't.

I love Keegan's paintings!  Maybe because he's my child, maybe because he's so proud to give them to me, but mostly because he makes my life seem like a beautiful work of art.  Even if the paint is running and smearing.  Even if there is more paint on the floor than on the canvas.  Because I survive the mornings knowing that I get to relax and cuddle with them in the evening.   My day does not always run like a well oiled machine.  It's not always rainbows and sunshine.  I smile through the days where the picture of my life seems to look like Keegan painted it because it makes the days where it looks like Van Gogh grabbed the brush that much better.

Yes, I yell at my children:)