Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Mother's Love



Thankful for my Mom.

 

BECAUSE:
·     She doesn't allow life to make her bitter.  She's YOUNG and has already lost so many of her loved ones.  She's been the caretaker for too many for too long...but she smiles through it.
·     When I am out of line, she doesn't hesitate to tell me.
·     She is an amazing example of what you do for your loved ones. (I hope I can be as positive in like 50 years when I put in her a nursing home because I HATE going there...she goes 3-7 times a week).
·     She still loves me after the way I treated her from the ages 15-23.  (I might have thrown a shoe at her when she threw me a surprise 16th birthday party...I MIGHT still yell at her when she doesn't deserve it).
·     She knows how to have a good time...and sings a mean karaoke "Love Shack".
·     She is young enough and more than willing to take my monsters to the park, to the nursing home, to plays, to read to them, to deal with their tantrums.
·     She's learning when her advice is wanted and when I am not in the mood to hear it. 
·     She calls...even when it's hard to pick up the phone.  (Not just when I'm being stubborn, but with everyone that she loves).
·     She taught me how to play euchre.
·     She wishes I was a lawyer and Jake was a doctor...she's satisfied with a paralegal and nurse:)
·     She always ends the conversation with I Love You.
·     When she is hurt, she doesn't let on.
·     From a young age she stressed the importance of getting to know a person before passing judgment.
·     She knows more children songs than anyone I know...and I learned to love and appreciate "When I Grow Up"

Mostly, I am thankful that she taught me, by example, how to be a wonderful mother.

Mom, I love you.

Friday, November 11, 2011

LOVE PJ

I have been uber emotional this week. The weekend is jam-packed with events and will most likely prove to be emotionally exhausting as well. I don't know if it's because I have been so busy the past few weeks and the rush of emotions are all trying desperately to break free, all at once, or what!?

I don't know why I'm posting this either...maybe so people know that I'm not rainbows and sunshine all the time...I don't know. I wasn't even brave enough to watch the slide show tonight.

Anyways, my song of choice tonight is Wishlist (PJ)...on repeat on the drive home from set up.  I so wish I was a messenger and all the news was good! Sick of the bad news...hopefully a good nights sleep will allow me to put my game face on for the important event and sell lots and lots of raffle tickets. We need a cure.

http://youtu.be/8r01YiEgNa0

I wish I was as fortunate, as fortunate as me. 

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Friday's Friendly Fun:Trust and Believe through the worry

Trust and Believe Through the Worry

 

Proverbs 3:5-6 
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
   and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
   and he will make your paths straight.

I hate how everything seems to be going well; everything is calm, everyone is coasting along, trying to live each day to the fullest...until you aren't.  Until you can't. Until you are stuck in the hospital recovering from surgery and dealing with a difficult diagnosis.  Until you are told your baby will need potent chemo and yucky steroids and truckloads of antibiotics.  Until you lose your sister.  Until the doctor can't find what they need to find and can't answer your questions.  Until you are waiting for test results. Until you are counting down the days until your treatment is done rather than the days until Christmas. Until you so want to be excited and hopeful about new life or the possibility of new life, but you're still hesitant and filled with doubt. Until you try to focus on the happy thoughts of raising money for a wonderful cause and hope for a cure, but really just wish you didn't have to fight for the cure or think about the horrid disease at all. Until you can't breathe.

I've been saving this story in my heart for when I thought someone really needed it, for a really big "until then" moment.  Because when I heard the story, it warmed my heart.  As a friend told her story, standing so beautifully as we watched our kids play in the sun, she made me believe in hope and true love and fighting for the people and causes you care about. This week, I really need it. Some of the people that I love dearly really need it, so I'll share.  Mostly because I want to hear "I can't believe it" in a "WOW, that is awesome, I can't believe that story is true!" rather than "I can't believe it, he is so healthy" or "he is so young, how can this be true?"

Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.

Over a decade ago, a cute, young girl agreed to a date with an older boy. The sweet girl knew the older boy from high school, but more as an acquaintance than anything else.  The older boy had already graduated from high school, but I'm positive he was still considered a "Big Man on Campus" as he excelled in athletics and he's still good looking in his thirties, so I have no doubt he was a stud in his day;)

As the sweet girl prepared for her date, I'm sure she was filled with excitement. At the age of eighteen you have the whole world in front of you!  I witnessed the enthusiasm and wonder in my cousins eyes as we celebrated her birthday this week. I can only imagine that Cheryl had the same sparkle in her eye at that age.  I have no doubt that she was overflowing with this same enthusiasm and wonder as she prepared for her date at a Haunted House.  Haunted Houses are fun, even if the date did turn out to be lame!

If you can remember far enough back to your days in high school, you can probably remember that the days can be long with school and extra curricular activities.  The day of her first date wasn't any different for Cheryl.  She went to school, went to swim practice and by the time she started the date, she was tired!  As the frightening Haunted House drew closer to the end, the exhaustion overwhelmed her small body.  Her young, strong date ended up carrying her to the car.

She didn't feel any better throughout the weekend.  The excitement of her date was overshadowed by her extremely pale, almost translucent skin. The butterflies weren't just from wonder about her first date, but also because she didn't have an answer as to why she was exhausted.  The testing started.  A confirmed diagnosis: Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL).  

Devastation, despair, worry, anxiety, depression, complication, crisis, uncertainty, nail biting. Why? How? NOT FAIR!

Who strutted into the hospital, face covered with concern and care?  This young boy that had only taken her on one date!  Personally, I don't know of many 20 year old BOYS that would be standing in line to visit the hospital after one date at a Haunted House.  I don't know many young men that would stick around to witness the brutal treatment plan a person that wants to beat leukemia must endure after one date. Jeff was already a man at 20.  He was there for Cheryl for all of the bad tricks (and pricks and vomiting and mood swings and swollen face...you know, the complete hell that you are forced to live through in order to beat cancer), but now, over a decade later, he gets to enjoy all of the TREATS!!  

Although they haven't been back to a haunted house in twelve years (as it is considered to be "bad juju"), they do live their lives to the fullest.  They are doting parents to two beautiful girls.  They enjoy spending time with their family.  They kick our behinds in sand volleyball. They support the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society along with many other charities.  The long term effects of the rigorous treatment plan Cheryl endured while she was only in her teens are few and completely manageable.


Psalm 5:11-12
11 But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
   let them ever sing for joy.
Spread your protection over them,
   that those who love your name may rejoice in you.
 12 Surely, LORD, you bless the righteous;
   you surround them with your favor as with a shield.


As I say my prayers tonight, as I struggle each day to find the positive and to enjoy each sunrise, it still helps to hear stories of triumph and hope and love.  Praying fervently for many of my friends tonight.  Praying that they can remember stories like this one of love and hope and cures. Praying that others can feel my support as they say goodbyes, go to appointments, receive test results and endure treatments. Hoping that they feel can feel God's hand in theirs and allow that feeling to take some of the worry away and replace the worry with hope and faith.

Trust and Believe through the worry.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Happy Birthday Cam!

Caring

Affectionate



Messy



Intelligent

Lovable



Lively



ENJOYED




Camille Marie Strong is 4 today and I love her more than words can say! Happy Birthday, Princess! From the time her internal alarm clock sounds early in the morning and she sneaks into bed with me until I tuck her in to bed each night and plead with her to shut her eyes, she brings joy and love to my life. 

A few of the reasons I love her:
  •  I love it when she thinks I'm sleeping and she plays with my hair and tells me that she loves so much. 
  • I love it when she is being tickled and she can't breathe or talk because she is laughing so hard. 
  • I love it that seconds after Keegan is mean or hurts her, she stands up for him. 
  • I love that she misses my Dad. 
  • I love the way she dances and sings.
  • I love the way she imitates Lilly and wants to be like her big sister.
  • I love that she is gaining confidence in herself and finding her own style. 
  • I love that when I catch her doing something wrong she acts like she was doing something else.
  • I love searching for butterflies, peace signs, princesses, rainbows and candy when I brush her teeth.
  • I love that she wakes up early so that she can get in her Mommy time.
10 of the 10 million reasons that I love my little princess.  Happy Birthday, Baby Girl.  Mommy is thankful for each hug and every smile, for the most kissable cheeks, for your hand that is always outstretched waiting to be held. Mommy is more thankful for you more than you will ever know.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Focus!

I have lots of little creative thoughts floating around in my head this morning, but none that I really want to tap into at work. I don't really have time to write today anyways, but I need to refocus and inspire myself to work, so I'm taking a short writing break.   Yesterday, I quickly made party invites, organized and stuffed a charity basket, and shopped for birthdays...these are the creative thoughts floating around in my head and I need to block them out and channel my brain to think of work. 

One thing that works for me to regain focus is making a list!  I LOVE to check things off of my list.  Although I would much prefer to use my morning party planning, charity event organizing or writing, I have to work...I will start my list! And start to cross things off! 

What is requiring your focus right now? What should be at the top of your list?  Are you concentrating all of your efforts on the task at hand? What motivates you to focus? 

The immature mind hops from one thing to another; the mature mind seeks to follow through.
Harry A. Overstreet
I'm going to follow through!

Friday, November 4, 2011

Friday's Friendly Fun: Jennifer Hammitt

So, I'm pretty excited to have a guest blogger, I'm not going to pretend otherwise:)  Plus, I think she's pretty awesome, funny, and totally one of a kind!  I have been following her blog for quite sometime now and I'm so happy that she agreed to guest blog.  Thanks, Jenni!!

You can follow her at http://jenniferhammitt.blogspot.com/

Thanks Laura!

Mom's pendant as Kelsey's Something Blue




This was a perfect day: Adam and Kelsey's wedding. It was a day/weekend my family needed. It was a day I needed. My family was together for a happy occasion. I gained a sister. I began a new chapter in my life. 

Many of you already know, the past 16 months haven't been exactly kind to the Hammitt family.  We have lost both of our parents. My sister and I are lucky to be alive ourselves. We have had unwanted media attention. We had a crash course in elder care, Medicare and Hospice with Dad. There was so much sadness, anger, loneliness we had to face. We just couldn't seem to get ahead.

There were times where it would have been easy to just give up. It would have been so easy to sink into the darkness. There are some many decisions to be made, losses to grieve and feelings to deal with. Every time I saw my family, there was something that had to be taken care of. It was overwhelming at times. 

It was hard to keep my focus on that little glimmer of hope out in the distance. I am not trying to feed you rainbows and butterflies. I had some serious doubts that I would ever really be happy again. There were days where I seriously questioned why I survived the tornado. Even on my worst day, I worked hard to cling that little bit of hope. It would get better. It had to get better. I had no idea when that would be, or what it would look like. It was hope that pushed me out of bed many mornings, and helped me survive my days. Even as things did start to look better, I knew there was a bigger pay off in the works. That glimmer was getting brighter.

My hope finally paid off  on that slightly rainy, but still perfect fall day. My family was together, happy, laughing, and having a great time. There were no tough choices. There was some sadness (our parents weren't there), but that was evened out by knowing there were there in spirit and in our hearts. It was a new start for Adam and Kelsey, our family and for me personally. I know that had I let my darkness consume me,  this day still would have come. However, it wouldn' have been the same. The smiles wouldn't have been genuine. My heart would not have been in it. The happiness would not have been that same euphoric level. Things won't always be that perfect, but I am starting to bask in the glow of my hope. With it I can face almost anything. 

Even when life is at it's worst, cling to your hope. It will be what saves you.



Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Half-Full/Half-Empty


Often when I'm feeling discouraged about work or family or life, I have to really work to refocus and find the good.  To maintain a positive outlook takes work!  Truthfully, sometimes I'd like to join Negative Nancy and Debbie Downer and whine and complain about life, but when I am feeling blah, everyone is up my butt asking "what's wrong?" or "why are you so quiet today?"  So, I usually snap out of it pretty quickly:)  I'm just not programmed to function that way.  I like to find the good in each day; search for the rainbow during the rain instead of waiting for the sun to come back and magically create the rainbow.

Last year I did 30 days of thankful during the month of November.  A facebook friend was doing it so I thought I'd join...I LOVED it! If you're looking for a little motivation, you should try it!  It is an easy way to concentrate on something good each day.  I have been practicing the past couple Mondays...with posts like: *Month old red headed boys that love "Aunt" Laura and not "Aunt" Ash *Basement full of wonderful items donated to find a cure! *Dads that carve pumpkins after little sleep and working all day *Costume parties with friends *Fun pictures of the weekend on friends pages *Finding out who the mystery friend is:) *Excitement for my cousins blog launch *Performances at the nursing home *And Yay, I get to see Jess tonight:) 

Rather than get frustrated that I can't get the freaking bill to upload, I think of something that I'm thankful for and I feel better about the ERROR message...for the 1500000th time!  I try to laugh at myself. Today I thought, if Grant or Adam were here, they'd get this stupid thing to work the first time.  Why can't I understand technology the way they do?  And laughed at myself and my severe lack of computer skills...it's probably because I'm Amish;) Or instead of taking offense to my friends calling me Amish for reasons like my phone is ancient, or because we didn't have cable for the first 5 years of marraige, or because Aaron doesn't believe in heating our house and if I do want it to be warm we must build a fire to warm our house, I embrace it.  I don't know what else to do, but laugh at the jokes! 

I think laughing at yourself is a HUGE key to looking at the glass half-full!  If you take yourself seriously all of the time you're going to be quick to point out your shortcomings and imperfections.   I know when I am insecure, I convince myself that other people are noticing whatever my shortcoming is.  I am so focused on whatever it is that I think everyone else must be too!  Even though they probably aren't! Once you get over the insecurity and laugh at the imperfections, the bad feelings and negative emotions attached to the insecurity lose their power.  I am still working on some insecurities, but admitting them and laughing at them takes power away from them!  Nobody is perfect! Embrace your imperfections, laugh at them if you can!

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."

We are leaving for a quick vacation today, so before I went to bed I was writing this quick little post for Friday Fun, but I think some of my friends can use the perspective talk today, so I'm hoping to get a guest blogger for Friday Fun. Anyways, I scrolled through Facebook and the glass started to look half-full; I was having a hard time seeing anything but rain.  I discovered a little boy from Woodville, who I do not even know, was diagnosed with ALL-a cancer of the blood: Connor.  This made me think of Isabelle.  Then I thought about a friends friend that lost her baby last week and my friends in the hospital waiting anxiously to hear results and pull tubes and get out.  I prayed for them and cried for them.

Picture by Grant Cummings

I woke up this morning and put on my pearls in memory of and in honor of. I woke up today ready to chase a rainbow.  I poured out the glass of water on my night stand and refilled it with fresh, new water.  Now the glass is full!  If you need to pour the water out and start over, go for it...as many times as you need to each day!  Each moment offers a new chance to change your perspective!  Laugh at yourself, throw out the insecurities, pray for your loved ones and even strangers. Join me in the 30 days of thanks!  Chase the rainbow instead of waiting for it to magically appear! Find the beauty and share it with people that could use it.


Picture by Julie Hirt Overmyer


Day One of Thirty: Thankful to be surrounded by people who are supportive, loving, and kind. Remembering that I when I needed an army of support, everyone was there. Quite a few people in our community need us to rally in their support now. I am thankful and honored to stand at their side. Lend your good thoughts and support if you can and be thankful for each new day. November is lung cancer awareness month. Pearl is the color to support this cause. Wear your pearls!