Last year during a Lent Bible study I was asked to present one of my favorite Bible verses. I picked:
Philippians 2:3-11
New International Version (NIV)
3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition (rivalry in other versions) or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. 5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
To the surprise of my peers and even the leader of our study, I went on to explain that I often have trouble with humility. I suppose it was surprising to them because I don't think I'd be considered boastful (I have been taunting one of my friends that I plan to beat him in the warrior dash, but I'm joking and in reality he will crush me). I don't act as though I am more important than others. I'm not financially wealthy, but I'm fairly certain that if I won the lottery tomorrow (not likely since I don't play), I wouldn't flaunt my wealth by purchasing fancy cars or other symbols of wealth. I try not to be arrogant. I like to look nice, but I don't think I stand out in a crowd. Thanks to Aaron calling me out (more times than I care to admit), I work very hard at not talking down to others. He was the main target of my "mean girl talk" (otherwise known as bullying) in the past and he quickly points out when I slip up now.
Recently I heard some news that, hmmm....well, should have been received better...by me. My loved one told me "news" and INSTANTLY I thought about how this change will affect me. Selfishly, I played out scenarios in my messed up head of different ways this "news" will put an additional burden on me. Ways I will be expected to love more, give more and be more. And well, honestly, sometimes I just don't want to be more! Sometimes it's hard to love boldly and forgive freely!
I asked another one of my loved ones to pray for me. I prayed for myself, but I really didn't know what I was praying for other than a bigger heart. Even after a few days of digesting the news, I was still unsettled. If I'm being completely honest, this change is still not something I'm elated about, but I do know what I'm praying for now.
HUMILITY.
I searched the Internet seeking, I don't know...wisdom? I found a wonderful essay about humility with many thought provoking questions and opinions. You can read it here:
http://www.voiceofonecrying.com/humility.htm
This is one of my favorite parts. "Humility doesn't come easy. You'll never be truly humble if you think you are. You'll never be humble because others say you are. I don't know how long it takes to become humble. And I don't know what God will require of us as He forms this humility in us."
I suppose I like this part of the essay so much because I am consciously striving to possess this intrinsic quality. This part of the essay makes perfect sense to me this week. Last week I THOUGHT I was humble, even fairly selfless. I try to build others up, not break them down. I try to forgive freely and love boldly. I try, when at all possible, to help others even when it's inconvenient and tiresome. That's what I get for thinking! God knew I needed another lesson in humility.
"Humility doesn't come easy." What qualities worth having are?
"You'll never be truly humble if you think you are." That's what I get for thinking I was doing a good job with humility! A great big slap in the face when I think about my poor reaction to the "news". I should have thought about this news as a great opportunity to serve God, to help shape a little person, to think of people at their best rather than at their worst.
"I don't know how long it takes to become humble." I realized, again, I'm not even close!
"And I don't know what God will require of us as He forms this humility in us." God gives tests to the strong; the people that are willing and able to serve Him. After prayer and reflection, I've decided to humbly recommit...over and over again...until I get it right. Realizing that if He sends another test my way, I must be strong enough!
Thanks for another test...I am strong, ready and willing to serve.
A Prayer for Humility
O Father, give us the humility which realizes its ignorance,
Admits its mistakes, recognizes its need, welcomes advice,
Accepts rebuke. Help us always to praise rather than to criticize,
To sympathize rather than to discourage, to build rather than to destroy,
And to think of people at their best rather than at their worst.
This we ask for thy name's sake.
(Prayer of William Barclay)
