Don't Stall, Don't Stall!

Have you ever selected a road along a river as your route after a hard rain?  Did you turn around when you reached the HIGH WATER or ROAD CLOSED signs?  Or did you press your luck and pray to God, Don't Stall, Don't Stall as you inched your way through the high water? As I think about this I want to stop my children from aging any further-I don't want them to press their luck and pray not to stall!

Have you ever been taught how to drive a stick shift vehicle?  When I was nineteen I worked for a pipeline company.  The only vehicle left for the summer help to drive on many of the hot summer days was a beat-up, one ton, rusty white, stick shift truck.  My dad was in charge of keeping my friend and I out of trouble most of the time...this also meant he was in charge of teaching us how to drive stick shift.  My father wasn't always the most calm person in the world.  Alright, so maybe both Laurie and I wanted to cry during our 'driving lessons'.  Maybe, just maybe, Laurie gave up before her turn even started and made me learn to drive the stupid old one ton truck. 

When you are learning to drive stick, the starting and stopping can be tricky.  We both knew my father was BEYOND irritated with my inability to learn what to him seemed to be such a simple feat.  Continually I would stall the stupid truck as we practiced at the tank farm.  Up and down the lane the truck would jump instead of roll.  We would all bounce around, really wanting to laugh, but scared of my dad's reaction.  Usually the driving lesson ended in a stall.

Over and over I would turn the ignition and start the process again. The lessons ended in tears on more than one occasion.  Every time I released the clutch and attempted to give it some gas, I would say a prayer; the same prayer in my head over and over again...DON'T STALL, DON'T STALL!! Eventually I learned to drive stick shift (not well, but we were able to drive around).  More often that I would ever admit, we drove to Elmore to watch our friends (that didn't have day jobs) lay out at Tammy's pool.  The entire way to Elmore I prayed that the light was green at the top of the hill on Route 51.  It wasn't. It never ever was green when I was driving that truck.  Don't Stall. Don't Stall. Don't Stall.

STALL.  I HATED that damn one ton truck and I stalled it all of the time. Kkkkkkkkkkk as the key turned over, finally the engine started and the truck would jump, instead of roll, down the road.  But we always (I mean one time), made it to the pool to lay out eventually.  I continued to drive the old beat up truck for the next four years.  It stalled ALL of the time, but we always made it to our destination in the end.

This week I have been thinking about avoiding a stall, but in a different way and not for myself.  I have been thinking about how easy it is for our spirit, our emotional well-being, to stall.  We think to ourselves, don't stall, don't stall! But sometimes it's inevitable, we stall.  Many people have talked to me about how to get restarted after they stall, but I'm not going to pretend to have the answers for that.  Instead, I'm going to continue to pray that we can learn to drive the stupid one ton, piece of crap stick shift and make it through that huge flood on the road or up the hill to Tammy's pool and avoid the stalls.

This week the DeVito's had a pipe burst and they have water damage throughout their house and garage.  The pipe was near their closet and quite a bit of their clothes will not be salvaged, dry wall fell down, carpets were soaking wet...while they are out of town...sitting at a hospital receiving treatment.

It would be so easy for them to stall right now.  It would be very easy to succumb to the 'poor me' feeling as the rain continues to pour on them, the water continues to rise and the road seems to be flooded every direction they turn.  Yet, I'm hoping they are able to avoid the stall. 

Via text this week Ashley said they are laughing about the water damage, but in the next breath she asked what else are they to do?  If they don't keep laughing, they would probably stall.

She also asked me how they will ever be able to repay everyone for all of the support they are receiving as they travel down this long, winding road.  Have you ever been in a situation that you felt like you would never be able to repay someone for all they have done; all the support they have given, all the love they have shared?  I have and this was my advice to her:

You are already repaying everyone.  When you walk into the treatment area and spread hope and love to the other patients, when Danny kicks cancers ass, when the next person receives a difficult diagnosis and you are the first person they call because you have been there...that's how you repay everyone! That's how you give back the love and hope that we are all sending to you...and you are already doing it!!!!

She went on to tell me that she had met a special friend that day at the treatment center.  His wife has a brain tumor that is pretty bad.  They held hands and talked about God. She described the experience as spiritually moving and the perfect way to start her morning.

Instead of letting the engine stall, Danny and Ashley are finding their way through the detours, through the HIGH WATER signs.  They are half way through the road to recovery and we don't want the truck to sit idle at the top of the hill for too long.  They need all of us to continue praying: Don't Stall, Don't Stall!! Just a little farther!  The end is in sight!!

What I'm praying for, as they hit the home stretch of this journey, is a another big surge of love and support to prevent them from stalling.  Continue to post on the caringbridge site often.  They already have the "Road to Recovery" scrapbook and we add to it each week from the loving words that you all have posted on Danny's caringbridge site. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dannyandashley

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!! For all the donations!!  It looks even more amazing in person and I just know they are going to LOVE IT!! We will be giving them the 'Giving Tree' to them on February 4th...if you still want to donate, don't stall;)

If you're close to stalling yourself, below are some pictures to feed your spirit!!  The books, the gift card, the money, the encouraging words...all of it is beyond amazing.  I have been brought to tears many times over the last few weeks as people donate from their hearts. Thanks to all of my beautiful friends for helping with the scrapbook and thank you's and tree:)

FFF: In Memory of Karen Avers

When I was five(ish), I was the little princess at the Woodmore Winter Royalty.   My prince escort was Dan Avers.  From that time on Dan and I have been friends.   He aids Ben in telling me to grow up, frequently rolls his eyes at me, totally thinks I'm a valley girl and loves to make fun of me-last week it was my inability to drive a car...and would do anything for me.

I remember going to parties at his house in high school and sitting in his mom's beauty salon chair in the basement as we giggled and told secrets about the boys.  I remember her coming to check on us and bringing us food.  I haven't been to Dan's parents basement in over ten years, but I bet it looks exactly the same way it does in my memory.  I can picture Karen walking down the stairs. Always smiling and laughing, inviting and loving, motherly and kind to all of us.

More recently we see Karen and Larry at pancake breakfasts, when we attend their church for baptisms and weddings.  Aaron has also known the Avers most of his life and it is always a nice surprise when we run into them.  When Dan and Jamie were married last May, Karen was filled with excitement and love.  She couldn't wait to talk to me...because I was the one that fixed up her no-longer-bachelor son.  Something like "Laura, thank you so much for fixing Danny up!  I thought he was going to be single forever! I just love Jamie and her children and they bring such joy to our family!"  Jamie is a co-worker and friend of mine...that shares the same joy and affection towards being part of the Avers clan (and rubs in having such a great husband to me all the time, but they really are two peas in a pod and deserve all the happiness in the world)!

We ran into Karen and Larry at a pancake breakfast about a month ago. We stopped her to ask about being a grandmother again...she couldn't wipe the smile from her face.  Her baby will soon have his first baby.  She was tickled pink! (Oh, and we made sure to compliment their ride as I hear it is one of Larry's prize possessions;))

Last night I received a call from Jamie telling me she wouldn't be at work today. Karen was in grave condition.  Earlier in the evening Karen was cutting Dan and Jarod's hair, now they were using paddles and epi.  Except, it's not exciting like when I'm watching Grey's and they are fighting for make believe characters.  Not when it's your friends mother.


Shocking.  Devastating. Life changes in an instant.

Today, Dan and Jamie are about six months from having a baby and instead of working on a nursery, they are making funeral arrangements.

For Larry's wife. For Dan, Steve, Rob, Jamie, Peg and Michelle's mom. For Grandmother to eight. For Hair Dresser. For Awesome Easter Basket Maker. For Proud Woodmore Supporter. For Member and leader by example and service of Trinity Lutheran. For Friend. For Aunt. For Sister. For Neighbor. For...Karen.

Dan, Steve and Rob are standing next to their father as they try to wrap their heads around the last 24 hours.  The Avers clan is a very close knit family.  A family that would do anything for anyone in need.  When you read this, please say a prayer for them.  Share your memories of Karen and their family with them. Continue to pray for them in the days, weeks, months and years to come.

Prayers for comfort and peace.

Visitation: Sunday January 22 from 2:00 to 8:00 p.m. at Crosser Funeral Home on 51 (Woodville Rd.) in Elmore.

Funeral services at 11:00 a.m. on Monday January 23 at Grace Lutheran Church also on 51 (Woodville Rd.) just down the street from the funeral home.

Karen and Larry's children and grandchildren-taken by close family friend Molly Hansen

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.  ~Kahlil Gibran

FFF: Walking Trees

It’s exciting to be here, writing in someone else’s shoes.  I’ve decided that writing in my cousin’s blog is a little like the first time I rode the bus home with a friend.  I was a walker, by the way.  Never had to be dismissed first at the end of the school day to Ride the Bus.  Ah, what prestige and mystery that seemed to hold to my elementary school mind.  And then, for the first time, I was invited to sleepover at a Busser’s house. Right. After. School. I had arrived.  And today, here on Laura’s blog?  Yep.  I can almost smell the exhaust and feel the bumpy seats. Lol

Anyways.  When she asked me if I would drop in for a bit, I played with a few different topics.  I could do the usual family bit (you know, telling secrets about this certain blogger in an attempt to get even for times I had to babysit instead going out with my friends), or maybe a piece called, “Of Course I’m Insane—I Have Teenagers”.  But in the end, I told her I’d write a piece called “Walking Trees.”  Her response?  “Ok, Weirdo.  Just have it to me Friday morning.”  Lol

By the title, you might guess that I spent extensive time in the 70’s (I did, but only those aforementioned elementary years), or maybe that I’m chronically sleep deprived (another truth—either up with a fuss toddler or waiting for a fussy teen to come home after curfew).  In truth, the concept comes from a verse in the Bible.

I came across this wild idea the other day.  I was experiencing just some crazy things—very sick child and applying for the FAFSA for another kid’s college education and what I was going to make for dinner when I hadn’t gone grocery shopping—and my choices were to curl up in a fetal position (no chance, the dog would attack), or dig in deep to faith.  So I opened my online bible to this: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark+8&version=MSG

Now, if you browse through the passage, you’ll probably recognize this is the time when Jesus feeds over four thousand HUNGRY people (probably at least the equivalent of six kids) with five loaves of bread and two fish (SEE?? Dinner inspiration!).  But as I kept reading I came across a verse I’ve never really read before.  It was verses 22-26.  They read: “^22-23They arrived at Bethsaida. Some people brought a sightless man and begged Jesus to give him a healing touch. Taking him by the hand, he led him out of the village. He put spit in the man's eyes, laid hands on him, and asked, "Do you see anything?"

 ^24-26He looked up. "I see men. They look like walking trees." So Jesus laid hands on his eyes again. The man looked hard and realized that he had recovered perfect sight, saw everything in bright, twenty-twenty focus. Jesus sent him straight home, telling him, "Don't enter the village."” (emphasis mine)  So, I re-read it, all the while struggling to keep the scene from Rango out of my mind—you know, the one where the cacti start heading toward the water?  (Good stuff, by the way, if you haven’t seen it.)  And I began to ponder a few things, like: Why did Jesus ask the man what he saw?  Jesus knew the minds and hearts of men.  Surely He knew the answer to the question He was asking.  And then, why on Earth would the guy respond to the Messiah with something as weird as “I see men. They look like walking trees.”?  Really? (Can’t you almost hear Laura saying, “Ya Freak.”)  And finally, I wondered:  Did Christ really need a do-over? As if He hadn’t gotten His healing right the first time?

And here’s what I came up with, and I’d love to hear your thoughts:

1.      I think Jesus ASKED the man, because He wanted the man to TELL him.  So often, aren’t we tempted to hide from the reality of our situation rather than assess it?  It’s so important (especially if we ever want to progress to wherever we WANT to go in our lives, as opposed to rolling with wherever Life takes us) that we objectively assess where we are at, our exact Point A, so that we can identify what we need to change, adjust, or re-affirm before we head to Point B.

2.      I think the guy responded as a weirdo because it was the most absolute, honest thing he could say.  And isn’t that really how we should pray?  Why do we try to think, act and be as if we have it all together, especially to the God who already knows we don’t?  I love this quote by A.W. Tozer: “God is loving for people through whom He can do the impossible.  What a pity when we plan only the things we can do by ourselves.”  Admit your Walking Trees!

3.      Finally, no, I don’t think Christ needed a do-over.  Honestly, later in the book, a woman is completely healed just by touching His robe, an action she took.  Here’s how I applied the verse: Just as He wants us to openly communicate to Him, He wants us to understand that we don’t have to look for a do-over.  I can’t tell you how many tears I’ve cried (okay, wasted) over things I thought I shoulda-woulda-coulda done differently.  What if instead I just said, “Lord, I see men.  And they look like walking trees”, and what if He replied, “Okay then.  Let me take you just a little bit further.”

4.      And I know I only listed 3 questions, but, I just had to add: Isn’t it cool that Christ asked the man not to go through the village?  I love that Christ healed the guy for the guy’s own sake.  Not just as a walking advertisement, not to be this pristine, perfect example, but just so that the guy could take things in, with perfect clarity for the first time, and figure things out from there.  That’s a Friend, huh?

I know this is long, and maybe Laura will edit (J). But I’m going to close with a link to a song that has really encouraged me along the way.  Hoping it does you too!!  Make it Great today…  Alissa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QU74WNShZtw

Thanks, Lis...the guest writer today is my older cousin...she has 6 beautiful children, a dog, a husband, a business, takes care of a household, she cooks yummy food...and lots more!! So thankful that she made the time to write a post for me today! Oh, and I love it!!  You can check out more of her writing at http://lifeinagaggle.com/!  Love you, Alissa Jo!

Busy...but a quick update!

Super busy with work, home, projects, welcome meal (and hopefully I will get to meet little Logen)...you know the usual...so I asked Alissa to write a Friday Friendly Fun:) But, I wanted to give you a quick update this week since I will not be writing.

Amy reported that facetime with Ashley and Danny the past couple nights has been successful.  Big YAY for technology and keeping them in touch with all of their friends and family as they keep that stupid cancer away forever! Ashley shaved Danny's head and he looks great! They seemed to be in good spirits yesterday after the first treatment and I'm sure they can feel all the love we are sending them!

Absolutely LOVE this picture...

and there are more on the caringbridge site if you haven't checked it out:

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dannyandashley

A good friend of Ashley and Danny's, Shanna, wants to do something special for Danny. She created a Power of Prayer....Live at 5. Everyday at 5:00pm we are inviting everyone to say a prayer for Danny. Set your phone alarm, take a minute and PRAY!

When I talked to Ashley last weekend she expressed a feeling that I am unable to describe in words...Overwhelming Gratitude.  She simply can't believe all of the love and support they are receiving...keep it up!  We will continue to add your encouraging words to the scrapbook each week so that they can feel your love and read your support whenever they need it.

The Money Tree is starting to take shape and it looks great so far! I'll post a picture next week hopefully. We had a lovely time starting the scrapbook. Well, actually, I am a control freak so Amy, Tammy and Ashley were scared that they would mess up and I would yell at them...NEVER:)  Lots of giggles.  Lots of love.  And we packaged all that love and some laughs up for Amy to bring to Ashley and Danny at the end of the week:) 

10 days of no smoking:) Camille is out of pull-ups at bedtime and no accidents in over two weeks.  Keegan is waking up dry most of the time too...we are almost done forever! 

Make sure you check back on Friday...Alissa is the real author in my family and I'm sure she will have something great to read:)

FFF: Overwhelming Gratitude

Overwhelming Gratitude!

This week has been wonderful!  I have been reminded why it's not so bad to live in a small community your entire life.  I am inspired by the number of people that want to help the DeVito's.  A few of the messages have brought tears, but tears of overwhelming gratitude.  We will be able to fill a tree a couple times, I have no doubt.  We are already receiving lots of goodies and people are still spreading thier story! People that can't afford to donate have offered to help in other ways. 

Simply amazing!  Don't have time to write...too much work to do (And have to watch Grey's Anatomy;)) Happy Friday!

 No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves. ~ Amelia Earhart

Road to Recovery Donation Options!

Per request...here is a site you can donate to rather than sending a check or gift card! 



If you prefer to send a check you can do it a few ways:

1.  You can make the check payable to me (Laura Strong) and I'll cash it and put money on the tree.

2.  You can make the check payable to Danny and Ashley Devito and I'll put the check on the tree.

3.  Or you can mail/drop off a gift card.

4.   If you see me out and about in church or in the community...make me get out my planner and put it in the envelope I have set aside for them so that I don't misplace anything!

My address is 215 West Riverview Dr. Woodville, Ohio 43469

Jessica Cousino is also collecting donations.  Her address is 2023 CR 62 Gibsonburg, OH 43431

Ashley's sisters, Amy and Brittany, as well as Ashley and Danny's good friends (and pretty much their sister too;)) Kori, will also accept donations and get them to us. 

I am truly amazed at the overflowing love our community is extending and know that the DeVito and Perkins family are amazed and truly grateful for all of your support as well.

Continue to follow Danny's progress during treatment here (Thanks again, Kori for keeping everyone informed on the treatment plan and the road to recovery!

 http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dannyandashley

If you missed the original post, you can read it here: http://publiclookin.blogspot.com/2012/01/road-to-recovery.html

Lots and lots and lots of love, Laura

Road to Recovery

With the start of a new year people are often ready to finish the chapter and start a new one, take a different road, build a bridge over the water.  If it was a bad year, you probably want to start a new book entirely or go to AAA and have them map a different route.  New beginnings are refreshing and often necessary.   Yet, sometimes you have to take the winding, bumpy road instead.  Maybe the road even looks like a dead end when you get in the car.  The new year simply can't close all chapters and bridges take time to build and detours aren't always on the map.

The last couple weeks at our house were crazy.  Every night we entertained friends or family, rushed to a holiday party, concert, watched children or went to dinner with friends.  The end result is half of my family is sick, but I still think it was worth it because friends and family make life worth living.  Toward the end of last week I was tired. On top of crazy holiday schedules, work was erupting after a slow period of minimal work. I was feeling unmotivated to do much more than what needed to be done.  Unmotivated to give back. Unmotivated to write.  Unmotivated to reach out.  Burnt-out.

Unfortunately, this burn out feeling isn't new to me .  I think it's normal to have periods of burn out.  It's one of the reasons why employers offer vacation.  Some of my friends even take "mental health days" where they bring their children to the sitter and run errands or do housework by themselves.  Sometimes you need a recharge.  Sometimes you hit a pot hole and your car breaks down. Usually for me my recharge is time with friends and family! Most of the time my support group can help me turn the car around and put the wheels back in place. But even though I was enjoying my time away from work with friends, I was still burnt out, stuck in a pot hole. 

Then I received a text from a friend.  She heard of an organization that helps with cancer families.  Even though our communication was via text, I could hear her excitement about the organization and her inspiration to help was building as we bounced ideas off each other! First she just wanted me to pass on the information- you can check out their website here:  http://ccofnwo.blogspot.com/ !  One thing led to another and her excitement and enthusiasm to help was building.  I know this, because I feel this same surge of energy when I am involved with charitable projects.

She is eager and honest in her desire to help.  She is a cancer survivor and remembers all of the support that was extended to her in her time of need.  She wants to do something, something BIG, but doesn't know where to start.  I told her that I would think about it, talk to some of their family and get back to her...then I continued on with my busy schedule and put the project in my glove compartment.

Last week my biggest worry was having enough time to clean my house in between parties and having enough appetizers set out each night for my friends.  Then I read a post from an equally busy friend of mine and was slapped with perspective and knew I had to take Jess's enthusiasm and run with it.

"Praying for a friend today that has to fight the fight everyday for the next 6 weeks, when we think its tough think of how it could be." John Donley

I hung out with a couple girlfriends on my last day of vacation and one of them told me about a woman in town without heat for her house. My friend has invited her to earn extra income by picking up some slack with her children and house chores.  Her husband is looking at her furnace.  JUST BECAUSE.

I took the thoughts out of the glove compartment and concentrated on the DeVito's. I have made it a point to surround myself with positive, inspiring people like my friends above.  I think everyone should take steps in their life to surround themselves with positive people!  Maybe even make it a late resolution!  It is important and necessary to be continually inspired to be a better person.  Ashley and Danny are two people that fit this bill. One reason that I surround myself with people like them is because I have found that when you need people in your corner, praying for you, rooting for you, the more you have, the more likely you are to finish on top. If you give your all, you will get every one's all back when you are the one that needs it.  I have said it before, but I truly believe it, to be successful you need to surround yourself with positive, successful people.

 

After I put the kids to bed and started to wind down from the holiday season, I thought about my friend’s text.  Her desire to help the DeVito's as they start the strict treatment plan, the road to recovery.  You can read more about their journey on this website intended to keep everyone informed and up to date on the progress, created by a couple of their best friends, the Wargacki's, here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dannyandashley . (Kori does the website, but Jake took a week of vacation during Danny's recovery from surgery to help him get around and keep him company...pretty freaking awesome friends if you ask me!!!)

Danny is a healthy 27 year old.  He married Ashley Perkins July 17, 2010.  He doesn't smoke.  He and Ashley are fitness FREAKS. He is a pharmacist.  He has strong faith in God.  He has a supportive family.  He has great friends...because he is wonderful.  Recently he was diagnosed with lung cancer.

Next week Danny has to start chemo and radiation. Danny and Ashley have decided that Danny will be treated in Columbus.  They will be away from friends and family during the strict 6 week treatment regimen.  I thought about the stress of time off of work, not being at home to prepare meals and things that might help them survive this difficult, curvy road they have been forced to follow. Things that could make this road to recovery a little less agonizing.  Because they need the prayers and support now more than ever.

I came up with a couple ideas, but to make them a success, I need some help...some help from my positive, inspiring friends.  Many people have asked me how they can help, do they need a home cooked meal?  Is there anything that they need? 

Since they will be away from home, I think the best way to help is a Money Tree (Heidi made one for Hailey's 18th birthday and I've been itching to make one)!  We would like to fill a tree with cash donations, gift cards to gas stations, gift cards to restaurants...whatever amount you can afford and feel compelled to give will help!  A friend that walked this journey with her husband also suggested movies, playing cards, things to occupy hospital time...they can be the soil in our tree! You can mail donations to me or Jessica Cousino...I will put our addresses at the bottom.  We are shooting for midway through the treatment to present the Money Tree which will be the first week of February.  Please have any donations dropped off/mailed to us by January 30th.  If you would like to remain anonymous, please specify with your donation and we will not include your name on the card.

Another fun idea that only requires a small amount of time is helping to make them a "Road to Recovery" scrapbook.  We will be putting a scrapbook together and plan to add to it each week.  Please email or write words of positive attitude or faith. I know there are alot of encouraging people that want to help in this fight for a cure, here is an easy way to lift their spirits. Many people have already posted encouraging words, success stories, poems and well wishes on the caringbridge site.  Please continue to post things there as I'm volunteering Kori to help us:)If you would like them to be more personal or simply don't want them on the caringbridge site, you can email them to me and I will add them to the scrapbook as well.

 

Pearl is the lung cancer color and symbol.  Wear your pearls.  Donate if you can. Share your success story or how you manage stressful times!  The Road to Recovery is tough, but with everyone supporting them, I have no doubt the DeVito's will cruise right on to the next adventure...CANCER FREE on cruise control! 

Strongs:

215 W Riverview Dr. Woodville, Ohio 43469

lstrongl@yahoo.com

Jessica Cousino...soon to be Fork:) 2023 CR 62 Gibsonburg, OH 43431  jcousino7682@hotmail.com

TO DONATE MONEY VIA PAYPAL: