What Do You Give to God?

Matthew 22:15-22

New International Version (NIV)

Paying the Imperial Tax to Caesar

 ¹⁵ Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words. ¹⁶ They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. “Teacher,” they said, “we know that you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are. ¹⁷ Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay the imperial tax^[a] to Caesar or not?”  ¹⁸ But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? ¹⁹ Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, ²⁰ and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?”
 ²¹ “Caesar’s,” they replied.
   Then he said to them, “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”
 ²² When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away.

As some of you know, one of the things that I like to do in my spare time is write.  Some of you read my thoughts in the church devotional, some of you read my thoughts when I post a blog online, some of you even get to hear my thoughts when you probably don't want to!  :)

When Pastor Jen asked me to write a message for this scripture she wanted me to give more to God.  She asked me to speak from the heart and tell you all how I personally give to God.  Probably in hopes that it would make you feel more connected to God as you thought about how you give to God. Maybe even make us, as a congregation, feel more connected in how we give to God.  Instead, I wrote a safe sermon that was impersonal and difficult to relate to.  This is my second message on the same text, but it is entirely different.  I'm confident this message is more of what she really wanted when she asked me to do this for her.

What do you give to God?

In the scripture lesson the Pharisees are attempting to trick Jesus.  They thought that he could only respond in two ways and that either answer would be breaking a rule.  One answer would break a rule set by Caesar, but the other answer would break a rule set by God.  Immediately Jesus realizes that they are trying to trap him and he calls them out as hypocrites.  He tells them to "give to the emperor what is the emperor's and to God what is God's" When I drafted the first message I focused on rules, laws, and paying taxes, but really the most important part of the text here should focus on giving to God what is God’s!  So instead of focusing on rules and laws, I will tell you how and why I give to God.

Have you ever felt like you have too many titles associated with your name?  Like you can't possibly be all the things that you need to be to all of the people in your life or you can't possibly fulfill the never-ending expectations that are imposed on you whether it's family, church, work...life?

Remember a time when everything you touched seemed to fall apart?  You were let go from work, the washer died, you had a flat tire and the list just seemed to go on and on, forever and ever? You probably told yourself you simply couldn't handle one more thing!

So far in my thirty years I have felt like this multiple times, but when my Dad's cancer returned I felt like I couldn't breathe.  The end of life stages are not fun to witness and this feeling of not being able to catch your breath is the best way I can describe exactly how helpless I felt.  I questioned God.  Why was this happening?  How can a God filled with such love and grace allow my Dad to suffer in this way? 

As the end grew closer for my Dad, I found that the anger and depression that sometimes seemed like it was going to overtake me, only seemed to lessen when I prayed.  I felt like I could breathe again when I read the Bible.  As the Hospice choir harmonized each hymn perfectly, I felt at ease. When I listened to Pastor Jen speak at my Dads funeral I was comforted with faith, hope and love.  When I decided to attend the Christmas Eve Service last year I truly felt the love of God and it filled my heart.  

Since I have felt His love and amazing grace I want more of it.  After I felt it and as I push myself to learn more of His word, I am starting to understand what we are all supposed to give to God.   In this reading Jesus was less concerned with paying taxes and more concerned with where your heart and energy is focused. 

Where is your energy focused?  What is your heart focused on?  What do you give to God? 

Sometimes the only thing that keeps me sane with my busy schedule is my honest belief that we are supposed to give everything, all that we have, to God.  As I run from this event to the next with my little ducklings waddling behind me, I want to know that each hour, each day, and each week I am giving everything I have to God.   Consciously, I am trying to be all used up when my time is called to be with God.  I want to have already given myself fully to God.  To me this means that I don’t want to have any talents, any gifts, or anything left of me to give.  I want to give Him everything.

So, now…now that I have opened my heart to God, I am more aware of what I have to offer.  We are all called, we all have special gifts and talents, but it is your choice how to use them!  You can use your gifts to gain power, fame, expensive toys OR you can give them to God!

When I wake up I try to hear the birds chirping as I prepare for work and see the beauty in the sunrise before I see Grant’s picture of it…even if I have been up all night with a crying child.  I wake up on Sunday and dress my beautiful ducklings in their Sunday clothes and try to contain them during the church service…rather than sleep in on the only day that sleeping in is a possibility.  I send a message to a friend in need or stop by unannounced with a beautiful prayer shawl made by some of the wonderful ladies in our congregation…when I should be cleaning my house or getting some sleep.  I share my thoughts on difficult topics, often topics that I struggle with the most, in hopes that it might help a friend or acquaintance that needs some assurance.  Time and time again someone pops into my head and I call them or send them a message. Almost always they admit that when I reached out to them they needed someone at that exact second…listen when you are called and give Him everything you have to offer.

New people pick up the pieces and take over tickle tortures.

There are always going to be times in life when you feel like you can’t catch your breath.   There are going to be times when you feel like too many titles describe you.  What you choose to do during those times is your choice.  You can let the expectations overcome you.  You can allow that feeling of helplessness to thrive and bring you down.   You can concentrate your thoughts on how bad things are going and most likely they will continue that way!

OR you can give everything to God. 

You can open your heart allowing Him to fill your spirit with His love and grace.  You can be renewed each day by reading His word, helping your neighbors and giving back to the community.  You can gain strength by spreading His word, forgiving with your whole heart and loving boldly.  You can use your talents to do Godly work.

Jesus wasn’t tricked by the Pharisees question, challenge yourself not to be tricked either!

Ask yourself, what do you give to God?

Amen

Friday Friendly Fun: Colors of the Season

I was going to simply post a picture(s) of this tree and that would have been enough. It would have served it's purpose for Friday Friendly Fun.  The friend that I was thinking of when we set off to the park would know it was for her.  She will probably cry when she sees the pictures of the beautiful tree. She will immediately know where the pictures were taken and think of her Mom. Yet, since the pictures were taken with love and filled with empathy, the tears will not be all sad. Some will be memory filled tears, some will be missing tears, some may be happy tears knowing that I remember her Mom when I look at this tree as it changes from green to BRILLIANT reds and oranges, too.

Honestly, the only reason that I wanted to go to the park was to take pictures of the changing trees.  I knew the children would have fun, but selfishly, I needed a picture of the tree for my Friday Fun!  My friend looks at these particular trees (that are much more magical than my amatuer picture taking skills can illustrate) and it reminds her of her Mom.  Before she told me that the color change conjures happy thoughts of her Mom, the season change really only reminded me of death.  Now, as each tree turns to a marvelous red, as each mum bursts with magnificent color, I take time to see the beauty. I find it fascinatitng that God sent me this friend during the exact season of my life that I needed her.  I need her honesty and bluntness, her wisdom and grace.  I didn't know that I needed her when we met (I actually thought she was kind of itchy with a b, but turns out she just didn't know I who I was when I assumed she did)!  Thankfully, God knew that I needed her to open my eyes to the heavenly colors of fall and so much more.

We invited our newest neighbor, who is quickly becoming one of Camille's best friends, to come with us to the park.  Before we even made it to the park, where I was anticipating the "missing" feeling, before we were even a block from our house, the children had this conversation:

S: Did you know that my Dad is in heaven?

C: Awww, poor you.

L: Did you know our Pipi is in heaven?

C: Yeah, poor us, too.

K: Why did Pipi die?

M (with tears welling in my eyes): Did you see that squirrel?  I think his name is Haxson Jackson!

Even though these wonderful children were smiling and skipping during the entire conversation, I couldn't stop the tears.  I couldn't help to feel the missing and then feel emptiness for this beautiful little girl with hair that matches the leaves of the tree I was going to photograph. As I think of my friend coming into my life precisely when I needed her, I'm fairly certain that God is using Camille for the same thing.  Camille is very sensitive to the feelings of the people she cares for. She doesn't hesitate to hand out hugs and kisses if someone is feeling sad. Our neighbor needs a friend like Cami in her corner. Continued prayers and all of our support to her and her family. 

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.  ~Kahlil Gibran

Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality. ~Emily Dickinson

In between sword chopping, Keegan noticed me taking pictures of the trees.  He asked me why I was taking pictures of the trees and why I was crying?  I told him because I miss Pipi.  He gave me a big bear hug and told me he misses Pipi, too.  After I photographed the trees, the sun dried  my tears.

I laid in the leaves with the kids and remembered that change is inevitable.  In the back of my mind, I am distinctly aware that soon the leaves will dry up, turn brown, fall to the ground. Die. The seasons change,  the sun rises and sets; strive for peace each day as life changes around you.  Embrace each season of every year and pause to take in the lovely and unique changes as the seasons of your life change with the seasons of each year.  Enjoy the beautiful colors of fall before they turn brown and fall to the ground. The excitement in the childrens eyes as they jumped and skipped and held hands from each adventure to the next, warmed my heart and brought me back to the beauty all around me.

I am happy that my children remember my Dad.  I hope that Summer remembers only the fond memories of her Daddy, too.  I am grateful that my friends who have been through this are able to speak so openly about death. The tears from missing are because those that have left us are worth missing.  They impacted our lives significantly and because of that, they are missed.  We love them.  It's alright to miss them.  Until we see them again...

 Cherish. Remember. Love.

Yes, Keegan has on two left footed sandals, they have different straps, he has swim trunks on in October, he brought his sword to the park and his tank top is too small, SO?!  :)

Cherish. Remember. Love.

Can you learn compassion?

Are we taught compassion? Is compassion something that is emulated?

Obviously, I am very sarcastic in nature.  Is sarcasm taught or emulated? I hope my children are more sincere and less sarcastic than I am...not looking good so far...I think it's emulated.

I read a facebook post my cousin wrote this afternoon and instantly tears were streaming down my face.  I didn't even have the courage to click on her proposed caringbridge link.  I read her post and thought to myself: "good God, I have enough people on my never ending prayer list!  I can't start following this caringbridge site for a complete stranger today. I'm emotionally spent as it is!"

Then I read her daughters post later in the evening.  She is seventeen and these were the thoughts that were running through her pretty little head tonight:

"I think autumn is the fullest season, and the emptiest at the same time. Everywhere you look, there's a burst of orange or a spark of red, so bright and eye-catching among the smattering of different greens around you. Full of color and crispness and pumpkins and the faint remainder of that fresh-cut grass smell. Then it's empty. Empty because some trees are already bare because of the change. Empty because you're always running out of time to be in the moment. Empty because its so full of momentum. It goes by so fast it's empty of enough praise. It's kind of like life...maybe we should step back and enjoy the simple beauties our world (and our lives!) has to offer us." Hailey Elizabeth Holke

Anyways, this is the question that is banging around in my head tonight: Can you learn compassion? Is it taught?  Is it something that you have felt and from then on you wanted to extend the feeling to others? Not sure!

My hypothesis: either genetic tendencies extend to emotional maturity in the form of compassion or it's emulated.  I think the elders in my family must be pretty good examples:)  Oh, and I did go back to Alissa's post, clicked on the caringbridge page, entered my email and password as a frequent visitor and prayed for young Will. 

PS to Hai: When you read my Friday Fun (that isn't really fun this week) you will smile at the similarities in our outlook on fall.  Astounding, really, since we don't see each other very often!

If compassion can be taught, these might be a few ways to teach compassion:

~Bring your children with you when you do community service/stop by to help a friend in need.  It's a pain in the rear-end sometimes (especially when you have to load three of them), but how else will they emulate your behavior if they don't see it! (And, no, I do not always follow this rule!)

~When they are watching a show/reading a book ask them questions about how the character might be feeling in a bad circumstance or what they could do to make a bad situation a little better (like offer a hug).

~Ask your child to look around the lunch room/playground to see if anyone is sitting alone.  Ask them how they would feel if they were the one sitting all by themselves.  Encourage them to invite the outsider to play! (My mom did a really good job at this one!  Other than when I'm at the 5:40am spin class, I am known to walk up to a stranger/group of strangers, introduce myself and initiate conversation...often to the displeasure of my husband and friends:))

~Show your children love and affection each and every day!

Habitat

Lilly's first project!

I didn't think people would like to look at my kids projects, but I enjoyed looking at Nichole's kids so I thought I'd share. Plus, my mom thought it was absolutely and utterly absurd that I would spend $18 at Michaels craft store to buy things for a project. And I'll probably think it's funny someday, too:)

Purchased craft supply list:
Grass ($3)
Zebra paper ($2.50 for one sheet, but it's SOOOO cute!)
Surrounding animals (set of 10, but Lil only wanted to use 2 of them) ($6.50)
Black pipe cleaner ($1.50)
Googly eyes ($1.50 could not find the things when we did the project so we made a different eye)

Already had supply list:
Paper for background-sky, tree and water
Butterfly was one that used to be my Granny's, but now sits in one of our plants:)
Button for eye
Tissue paper for tree
Glue and things to spread tacky glue
Safari animal stickers
Popsicle sticks for the legs

Lilly picked to do a zebra. I thought since that was the main part of her project we should spend the most time on it so we made the big zebra. I did the cutting, but Lilly did all of the gluing. She also decided how she wanted to set up the animals, grass, water.

Camille and Keegan each glued one of the sides of the skyline on before I could not handle all three of them gluing and cutting and screaming and pushing for position (closest to my face!). I got out the glitter glue and dot to dots for them and that satisfied them for the rest of the project. Lilly put the final touches on her project while I gave Keegan and Camille a shower AND picked up all the craft supplies! She is so responsible it's almost scary!

Anyways, without further ado, here it is!

The project is due Friday. She plans to make a sun out of macaroni noodles above the lion and cover the outside with some type of paper before then if we have time with gymnastics, soccer, girl scouts...LIFE!

PS: She is very knowledgable on zebras! She knows where they live, the top two predators, how they sleep, the closest related animal, that they are believed to see color, what they eat...oh and probably 10 other things that I don't know since she could not read enough information about the "cool, beautiful, wild animal!"

Friday's Friendly Fun

Sorry guys, I did have an idea earlier in the week for Friday's fun, but I never got around to it...maybe next week!

And I'm not feeling creative AND more importantly Grey's starts in 7 minutes, so this will be short and sweet!

PERSPECTIVE is everything.

Tonight was beautiful! The weather was nice. The kids were all in great moods! Other than being tired, I am feeling pretty good, too:) I didn't have to rush to get food down throats because Aaron had dinner ready in the crockpot when we got home. Lilly dressed herself. The water bottles were full and we were all ready to go well before we had to leave...I should have known it would be a good night!

Even though I am a "coach" for the team, with crazy work schedules and everything that happens in one little day, often I get to watch the younger children rather than coach. Tonight was one of these nights and it was perfect. The field we played at had a nice big hill that the younger children liked to roll down and climb. The hill was the perfect spot to watch a soccer game. The girls on the team could still hear my loud mouth and in between "I need another piece of gum, it felled out!" and "Can I take my shoes off?" I was able to lean back and enjoy the glorious evening.

The kids all listened well. I got lots of high fives and cuddles from my monsters and Kiks, but my favorite part of the evening was an argument between two sisters:) Keira picked a three leaf clover and brought it to me. She was so excited to tell me that it was yucky (lucky). Paige immediately told her that three leaf clovers are everywhere and they are not lucky at all! Keira said, "Paige, this one is yucky. I picked it for Yora and it is yucky!" I gave her a big hug and told her that I felt like the luckiest girl alive so obviously it was a lucky clover! Paige shrugged her shoulders and they all smiled at each other.

It's all about perspective! HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

The Fear

I think it's normal to evaluate your life every so often. In the workforce you have annual performance reviews, some people work for their bonus, children receive grades for their effort at school, when you play a game you either win or lose.

Maybe it's because I recently turned 30 and I have been stuck on "Don't close your eyes, this is your life" for a few weeks now. Maybe it's because I've been listening to Lily Allen this week and she has a song about turning 30 and it says "It's sad but it's true how society says her life is already over". It could be because a friend is struggling with lack of satisfaction as they reflect on where they are at right now. It's possible that I am just tired from lack of sleep!

I think when you are evaluating your life, there are always going to be areas that are less than satisfactory. Sometimes I think the fear of not being good enough keeps you driven. Always wanting more isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I imagine that everyone struggles with their own why's. Everyone struggles with the fear that they may never get whatever it is that they want in life, that they will die before they get to where they want to be, that they will never be satisfied with what they have...etc. etc. etc!!

This month I want to look good for a wedding. There will not be anyone that I want/need to impress. I'm not obsessed with my outside appearance. I don't even own a scale! But I set my mind on shedding an inch or two and now I'm working my butt off to get it. I evaluated my eating habits and motivation to exercise and lately I have been less than satisfactory in this area, so I'm working on it! The fear of not looking my best isn't hurting anyone...well unless it's hurting me due to sleep deprivation. (I highly despise the 5 o'clock am hour!)

Be sure when you are evaluating you are using apples to apples! Are you making changes for the right reasons? It's easy to look at someone else and think "Why can't I have that?" or "All I want is _________. Why can't I have it?" or simply "Why am I not happy?" Are you comparing things to other people out of jealousy, envy or resentment? Are you evaluating parts of your life because you simply want to do better and be better for yourself? I don't think you're being fair to yourself if you compare the things you want to others. You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. You have no idea all the crazy thoughts that may be going on in someone elses head! They probably fear all of the same why's!

I live a wonderful, fun filled life. I have job and so does my husband. We are able to sufficiently provide for our family, etc. etc. etc. I try very hard to see the beauty around me and to live each day to the fullest! That does not mean that I live in sunshine and rainbow land! I fight with my husband. I get angry with my children. At the end of the week the laundry is often pilled to the ceiling. I do not like to visit the nursing home and haven't been there in a LONG time. I should make more of an effort to spend time with my family and friends. I often cry when I shouldn't and always when I don't want to be crying. I frequently fear not being good enough and have trouble defining what good enough is.

I assume that most people harbor many of the same fears, same doubts, same insecurities. When you don't know what is right and what's real anymore take a step back. First decide what you want. Is it forkloads of diamonds and fame? Is it stability, financially or emotionally? Do you want to shed a few inches? What do you want in life? Decide and wrestle with the fear. Then fight it or for it. Trust in whatever it is that you trust in. For me, it's God.

Psalm 56:3-4
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?


RIP Steve Jobs
"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."
– Stanford commencement speech 2005



It's 12:40am and sleep eludes me.

Is this where I want to be?

Everything is annoying.

Is this where I need to be?

Random Facts #2

I have Christmas socks on today. Not because I am already in the Christmas spirit, but because Cami was sleeping in my bed and I didn't want to turn the lights on and wake her up before I was ready and had lunches packed. My pants are long enough that you can't see them when I'm standing so I went with them even after I noticed they were black...with red and green snowflakes:)

Keegan is less than 2 months from 3 and I'm still not pushing potty training. I don't care if that makes me a bad mom.

I cleaned out the downstairs bathroom cabinet a couple weeks ago for the first time in over a year (CHRISTINA AND GARY WILL TREMBLE WITH DISGUST IF THEY READ THIS). Nobody uses it and I only open it if I need a bandaid. It has been full of my dads personal belongings for over a year and I didn't want to do it. Secretly I was hoping it would magically one day be done when I needed a bandaid. Finally, eleven months later, I did it. I finally threw everything out. I saved the bottle of Obsession cologne and a bottle of after shave.

Ernestos has KILLER margaritas...and the chicken enchilada, salsa and basket of chips I inhaled are not good for my get skinny program!

You never know someones story unless you take the time to hear it! I listened to the cutest little love story I've heard in a long time this weekend:) Makes me want to stear clear of Haunted Houses!

The most well behaved child in my house receives the least amount of attention. It's not fair, but it's true. Lilly is extremely responsible, consistently follows the rules and does exactly as she is told most of the time. Lately she has been playing this card: "I wish I was the youngest so I got to sit next to Mommy!" or "I wish I was the only child so I didn't have to pick up their toys!" and on and on and on. In reality though, she has a point. I expect more out of her with less attention. Last night I decided to cuddle up with her in her bed. She asked me why I was laying with her and I told her because I lay with Cami every morning and I layed with Keegan the night before because he was scared of monsters. She was so excited! The random fact in this rant is that I am consciously trying to spend more one on one time with Lilly!

We watched Home Alone last night. Lilly left the CUTEST message for Uncle Jakie when the movie ended:)

My hair desperately needs Nina, but I need to wait a another week so it's nice and fresh for my friends wedding.