I was going to simply post a picture(s) of this tree and that would have been enough. It would have served it's purpose for Friday Friendly Fun. The friend that I was thinking of when we set off to the park would know it was for her. She will probably cry when she sees the pictures of the beautiful tree. She will immediately know where the pictures were taken and think of her Mom. Yet, since the pictures were taken with love and filled with empathy, the tears will not be all sad. Some will be memory filled tears, some will be missing tears, some may be happy tears knowing that I remember her Mom when I look at this tree as it changes from green to BRILLIANT reds and oranges, too.
Honestly, the only reason that I wanted to go to the park was to take pictures of the changing trees. I knew the children would have fun, but selfishly, I needed a picture of the tree for my Friday Fun! My friend looks at these particular trees (that are much more magical than my amatuer picture taking skills can illustrate) and it reminds her of her Mom. Before she told me that the color change conjures happy thoughts of her Mom, the season change really only reminded me of death. Now, as each tree turns to a marvelous red, as each mum bursts with magnificent color, I take time to see the beauty. I find it fascinatitng that God sent me this friend during the exact season of my life that I needed her. I need her honesty and bluntness, her wisdom and grace. I didn't know that I needed her when we met (I actually thought she was kind of itchy with a b, but turns out she just didn't know I who I was when I assumed she did)! Thankfully, God knew that I needed her to open my eyes to the heavenly colors of fall and so much more.
We invited our newest neighbor, who is quickly becoming one of Camille's best friends, to come with us to the park. Before we even made it to the park, where I was anticipating the "missing" feeling, before we were even a block from our house, the children had this conversation:
S: Did you know that my Dad is in heaven?
C: Awww, poor you.
L: Did you know our Pipi is in heaven?
C: Yeah, poor us, too.
K: Why did Pipi die?
M (with tears welling in my eyes): Did you see that squirrel? I think his name is Haxson Jackson!
Even though these wonderful children were smiling and skipping during the entire conversation, I couldn't stop the tears. I couldn't help to feel the missing and then feel emptiness for this beautiful little girl with hair that matches the leaves of the tree I was going to photograph. As I think of my friend coming into my life precisely when I needed her, I'm fairly certain that God is using Camille for the same thing. Camille is very sensitive to the feelings of the people she cares for. She doesn't hesitate to hand out hugs and kisses if someone is feeling sad. Our neighbor needs a friend like Cami in her corner. Continued prayers and all of our support to her and her family.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran
Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality. ~Emily Dickinson
In between sword chopping, Keegan noticed me taking pictures of the trees. He asked me why I was taking pictures of the trees and why I was crying? I told him because I miss Pipi. He gave me a big bear hug and told me he misses Pipi, too. After I photographed the trees, the sun dried my tears.
I laid in the leaves with the kids and remembered that change is inevitable. In the back of my mind, I am distinctly aware that soon the leaves will dry up, turn brown, fall to the ground. Die. The seasons change, the sun rises and sets; strive for peace each day as life changes around you. Embrace each season of every year and pause to take in the lovely and unique changes as the seasons of your life change with the seasons of each year. Enjoy the beautiful colors of fall before they turn brown and fall to the ground. The excitement in the childrens eyes as they jumped and skipped and held hands from each adventure to the next, warmed my heart and brought me back to the beauty all around me.
I am happy that my children remember my Dad. I hope that Summer remembers only the fond memories of her Daddy, too. I am grateful that my friends who have been through this are able to speak so openly about death. The tears from missing are because those that have left us are worth missing. They impacted our lives significantly and because of that, they are missed. We love them. It's alright to miss them. Until we see them again...
Cherish. Remember. Love.
Yes, Keegan has on two left footed sandals, they have different straps, he has swim trunks on in October, he brought his sword to the park and his tank top is too small, SO?! :)
Cherish. Remember. Love.