Everyone knows the expression "SHIT HAPPENS", but what about the times in your life that it doesn't?!
Well, one or two or maybe all of the new drugs combined have made it difficult for me to make shit happen!
All of the sudden 5 days have gone by and I think to myself, "Shit, I haven't shit in days!". And then I look at my ever-growing beer gut (that is not currently being fed with beer and it's NOT happy about this) and realize I'm bloated and constipated!
WONDERFUL. This is just wonderful! What do I do now?? (I've never had this problem before.)
So, I tell one of my MUCH older friends about my latest pooping problem and she drops off some collase to assist in dropping the kids off at the pool. But, it's too late! My butt isn't happy with me and my hemorrhoids have decided that they want to come out to play.
Well, hey, it's been a while! I thought I told you that I didn't want to have a relationship with you anymore? I didn't miss you! You can climb back in and not rear your ugly head again...the rest of my life.
It was too late by this time though and my roids were unbearable. At one point I thought I was going to black out when I tried to make shit happen!
Prophylactic (one of the new terms that my doctors use ALL the time instead of preventative) stool softeners from here on out. I'm breaking up with the roids forever. They're pretty much assholes.
Well, one or two or maybe all of the new drugs combined have made it difficult for me to make shit happen!
All of the sudden 5 days have gone by and I think to myself, "Shit, I haven't shit in days!". And then I look at my ever-growing beer gut (that is not currently being fed with beer and it's NOT happy about this) and realize I'm bloated and constipated!
So, I tell one of my MUCH older friends about my latest pooping problem and she drops off some collase to assist in dropping the kids off at the pool. But, it's too late! My butt isn't happy with me and my hemorrhoids have decided that they want to come out to play.
Well, hey, it's been a while! I thought I told you that I didn't want to have a relationship with you anymore? I didn't miss you! You can climb back in and not rear your ugly head again...the rest of my life.
It was too late by this time though and my roids were unbearable. At one point I thought I was going to black out when I tried to make shit happen!
Prophylactic (one of the new terms that my doctors use ALL the time instead of preventative) stool softeners from here on out. I'm breaking up with the roids forever. They're pretty much assholes.
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