I post to facebook A LOT. This year I have been pretty good at posting to my blog regularly; sometimes even more than once a week. Around angelversaries, birthdays, and holidays I receive higher traffic to my blog. People anticipate that I will write words from the heart; remove the layers of Laura and lay it out in words to be read and processed.
This weekend I had a high volume of hits searching for my blog by the blog name or by my name. I'm assuming it's because some of the people that follow are waiting for my reaction to the shooting. Waiting to see if I'll steer toward gun control laws or pump mental health awareness. Whether I will say to trust in God, that He has a plan, or talk about free will. Blame everything on the legislation that took God out of schools. Maybe share the conversation that I had with my kids. And most certainly ask another WHY!
Unfortunately, I do not think that solves anything. Even though MANY of my facebook friends are quick to state the answer to all of the worlds problems, I simply can not.
I am not able to answer how to prevent another tragedy. I don't have answers on how to proceed. I don't have answers on how to talk to your children because I stumbled on my words and choked back tears during the quick conversation that we had about the shootings. I can't tell you how to make this NEVER.HAPPEN.AGAIN. I can't answer why.
I can only pray.
Pray silently, alone with my thoughts after I have tucked and re-tucked. I pray for the families. I pray for the children and teachers that witnessed. I pray for the helpers. I pray for the community. I pray for my children to be safe. Then I pray for me.
Why? Why do I pray for me next?
Because I could easily let my candle go out when I think about their small hands turning cold. It starts to flicker at the thought of picking a Bible verse to be read when they say goodbye to their babies. I could let the darkness swallow me whole when I let my mind wander to the unopened presents and the indescribable pain that those mommies and daddies and brothers and sisters are feeling. It.could.swallow.me.
So I watch the flame of the candle that flickers, but then relights. I pray that I don't let my light burn out because we need to carry the light for an entire community now; for a country that is grieving the beautiful faces of the little girl with cute blond hair like our own little angel or the handsome little boy with a dimple in the same spot as our ornery little monster.
I need to fuel my candle, keep it shining bright, so that I can raise my monsters to have the qualities that the preschoolers held up at church on Sunday: Helpfulness, Grace, Humility, Love, Understanding, Patience, Hope, Peace, Kindness, Mercy, Caring. I have to shelter my candle when it flickers so that I can raise them to make the right choices and turn to God when it is dark.
They, the victims and their families, their community, our community, our country, needs us to keep our flame burning for them and for all of us.
So, I pray for me. Prayers that I can keep the flame burning for them. I pray for you; prayers that you can keep the flame burning, too.
And
I hope for them to survive the darkness.
And
I beg of Him, down on my knees, that somehow, someway, someday
That they can find peace.
And
That they can feel the love and comfort when our candles shine bright in their honor.
This weekend I had a high volume of hits searching for my blog by the blog name or by my name. I'm assuming it's because some of the people that follow are waiting for my reaction to the shooting. Waiting to see if I'll steer toward gun control laws or pump mental health awareness. Whether I will say to trust in God, that He has a plan, or talk about free will. Blame everything on the legislation that took God out of schools. Maybe share the conversation that I had with my kids. And most certainly ask another WHY!
Unfortunately, I do not think that solves anything. Even though MANY of my facebook friends are quick to state the answer to all of the worlds problems, I simply can not.
I am not able to answer how to prevent another tragedy. I don't have answers on how to proceed. I don't have answers on how to talk to your children because I stumbled on my words and choked back tears during the quick conversation that we had about the shootings. I can't tell you how to make this NEVER.HAPPEN.AGAIN. I can't answer why.
I can only pray.
Pray silently, alone with my thoughts after I have tucked and re-tucked. I pray for the families. I pray for the children and teachers that witnessed. I pray for the helpers. I pray for the community. I pray for my children to be safe. Then I pray for me.
Why? Why do I pray for me next?
Because I could easily let my candle go out when I think about their small hands turning cold. It starts to flicker at the thought of picking a Bible verse to be read when they say goodbye to their babies. I could let the darkness swallow me whole when I let my mind wander to the unopened presents and the indescribable pain that those mommies and daddies and brothers and sisters are feeling. It.could.swallow.me.
So I watch the flame of the candle that flickers, but then relights. I pray that I don't let my light burn out because we need to carry the light for an entire community now; for a country that is grieving the beautiful faces of the little girl with cute blond hair like our own little angel or the handsome little boy with a dimple in the same spot as our ornery little monster.
I need to fuel my candle, keep it shining bright, so that I can raise my monsters to have the qualities that the preschoolers held up at church on Sunday: Helpfulness, Grace, Humility, Love, Understanding, Patience, Hope, Peace, Kindness, Mercy, Caring. I have to shelter my candle when it flickers so that I can raise them to make the right choices and turn to God when it is dark.
They, the victims and their families, their community, our community, our country, needs us to keep our flame burning for them and for all of us.
So, I pray for me. Prayers that I can keep the flame burning for them. I pray for you; prayers that you can keep the flame burning, too.
And
I hope for them to survive the darkness.
And
I beg of Him, down on my knees, that somehow, someway, someday
That they can find peace.
And
That they can feel the love and comfort when our candles shine bright in their honor.
Keep the candle burning for them.
John 3:16-21
New International Version (NIV)
16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. 19 This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20 Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. 21 But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.
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