Outside Look at Surving a Stroke

Have you ever tried to sit in a crowd of people and listen to conversation and not say a word? Have you ever attempted to speak, but the words didn't come out? Did you become very frustrated and withdraw from social activities? If you have had a stroke you might be quick to answer yes to these questions.

It has been more than four years since my dad had a stroke. It has been almost seven years since he was diagnosed with lung cancer. He has been gone now for almost two.

He did live more than a year after his stroke with his cancer in remission.  During that time, he recalled more of the words that he searched for, but was never quite the same after the stroke. This post is dedicated to inform and assist others when they have a loved one that suffers from a stroke.

When a loved one suffers from a stroke it does not only change their life, but changes the lives of their loved ones as well. If you, as a loved one, are faced with the challenge of assisting a stroke survivor, this is my advice to you:

1. Research: Look at websites, magazines, order a book on surviving a stroke. Try to understand what is going on inside their head. Often survivors describe the beginning as being "trapped" inside their own minds. They know what they want to say, but it just doesn't come out.  Learning about life after a stroke can ease the survivors pain and hopefully make the transition into life after a stroke easier on everyone!

2. Get Organized: Whether you plan to do additional therapy or are just trying to manage the day to day activities, you will need to be organized.  Since speech is so often effected in stroke patients it can be hard to communicate basic needs without frustration.  Pictures of things that the patient may want/need can be helpful.  Instead of asking them a million questions, which can lead to further frustration, maybe you could set out a bunch of flashcards and ask them to pick which thing they are trying to ask for.  Examples could be a glass of water, sandwich, hair brush, toothbrush, newspaper, paper and pencil, remote control, etc.  Keep the questions to one word answers whenever possible.  Don't speak for the stroke patient if at all possible.  Give them time and encouragement to answer.

3. Don't get frustrated/be patient: Remember that your loved one is adjusting to a whole new normal.  Normal is no longer get a shower, eat breakfast, go to work.  New normal could be something like: I wonder if I will ever recover enough to go back to work?  I wonder if when I say I need soap, if I'm actually calling it soap because when I asked for soap, they brought me a toothbrush! 

4.  Realize that recovery takes time and the patient might not fully recover: As much as you might hope and wish that your loved one will fully recover, that is not always the case.  I am a big supporter of speech, occupational, and physical therapy.   The time to start the therapy is as soon as possible.   Do therapy as long and as often as the patient willingly puts forth the effort.  In the end, everyone needs to learn to live and love the "new normal".

The gray Rotork tshirt that my dad was wearing when he had the stroke is at the bottom of my tshirt drawer.  I remember my dad calling and not being able to get any words out. His co-worker grabbed the phone and told me that he was taking him to the hospital and to meet them there.  I remember helping him take the gray tshirt off when I arrived at the hospital and I took it home with me when I left.  Sometimes I wear it to bed and since he's gone now, that's just part of my new normal.

 I started this post a long time ago.  I'm sure the post would have been much more informative and supported with documentation of sites to check out when he had the stroke, but I threw out the binder after he passed away.  Hopefully, if this blog pops up when someone has questions about stroke patients, it will help them to feel a little less alone and a little more prepared...