We went to Genoa to pick out our Christmas tree this past weekend. I studied each one carefully and finally decided on the perfect one. (Every year, I pick the perfect one-if you ask me).
Maybe it wasn't exactly perfect? Aaron had to take some off of the top...and the bottom of the tree. But now that it fits inside our living room, it's perfect! Aaron strung the lights on Sunday and told me to wait until Monday to hang the ornaments. This way he would be able to help us (help regulate the monsters so that none of my favorite ornaments were broken or distract them if I held a melt down is probably what he meant).
Sunday night when the kids went to bed I peaked into the tub of ornaments. I didn't remember if I had taken them down in a specific order or if all of my favorites would be in one spot. I unwrapped a few of the beautiful glass bulbs that my in laws have given to us over the years and then the one of me, Jake and my Granny. I started to tear up and put them back into the tub and sealed the container shut.
Monday afternoon on my way home from work, I blared Christmas music. The happy Christmas music: Carol of the Bells and Baby It's Cold Outside were the last ones I listened to before I turned off the car. A pine scented candle filled the house and I was greeted by my small army. Tons of Christmas cookies were lined up on the dining room table. Christmas is a time to celebrate! Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth. I was filled with love. Christmas music was already playing and the children Could. Not. Wait. to decorate the tree!
I anxiously and nervously opened the tub of ornaments. The monsters started grabbing and pushing and wanting to hang them all; so fast, without care. I started to lose my patience. I did not want any of my keepsakes damaged. I wanted to look at each ornament before it was placed on the tree. I wanted to remember.
I took a deep breath. I set my favorites aside as I pulled out each ornament from the tub. I let the children hang the rest...knowing full well that I would rehang them when they were done. They finished and we ate dinner. I asked Aaron to occupy them so that I could finish decorating the tree.
I have a couple new favorites this year thanks to my friends. Laura had one made with my Dad's picture, name and dates on it. Ash gave me one that says "I love you all dearly, now don't shed a tear. I'm spending my Christmas with Jesus this year." I am looking for few more to add to my favorites and give to a few special people this year, but I haven't found exactly what I'm looking for yet.
I allowed the tears to fall while I hung each ornament with great care and love. I cherish my Christmas tree and each little ornament and every memory that I think of as I hang them. Each night I sit silently and look at my memory filled Christmas tree. Once the kids are sleeping and the house is quiet, it's normally just me, the tree and my love affair with Joe Morelli (a character from a book-geeze). Often I stand at the tree and try to pick out my favorites. I find comfort knowing that my loved ones, both here on earth and in heaven, will spend Christmas with Jesus. You just have to let Jesus into your heart.
Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.
Original "Ornaments" post:
A little over a year after my first post on ornaments and I still feel like that person that has to hold it together so that everyone else is ok. I still try to hide my tears when at all possible. I still pray for the Jones, Perkins, Kaydens, Tobias, Heinemanns whenever I grieve, as I simply can't imagine how they survived their grief. I can't help but to feel sad when my family and friends are struggling. I'm ok with it. It's who I am.
Praying for too many to list right now. Bold prayers. They know I'm praying for them.
