Protect your child

Guest post today!  My personal opinion: I don't necessarily feel that the school bus should have to stop at every single house. I just think it should be fair and consistent.  Don't stop for some and not for others, ya know?

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better. It's not." Dr. Suess

Friend and neighbor of mine, go:

How far would you go to protect your child? How far would you go to protect someone else’s child? 

Communities gather and support causes, especially children’s causes openly and unapologetic, in record numbers, whether it’s raising money for a child who is battling an incurable disease or purchasing raffle tickets for an Athletics fundraiser. 

What if you were told your child wasn’t worth the effort?

My story: My first child started Kindergarten this year and I was informed that she was designated a “Walker” to the school.  I was confused.  There are children who live closer to the school than my child with the same lack of sidewalk and safety issues as I have, and they are being picked up in their driveways and less than 10 feet away from their homes.  Yet my 5 year old is expected to walk in the street and it was recommended that she walk across private properties to get her safely to school, by the School District.

An offer was made for a bus stop for my child. I temporarily agreed to this location. However this location still requires my child to walk in the street and across private property to get to this location.

On September 18th, 2012 I approached the School Board and asked for a Bus Stop to be designated in front of my house.  According to their current Policies and Procedures in place, I could request an exception be made based on the safety conditions, terrain, age of student, traffic, and lack of sidewalk.  I did my research and presented a very thorough case to the School Board.  I even offered reasonable suggestions to help resolve any future fiscal nightmares when it comes to their current P&P regarding Student Transportation. So I wasn’t approaching them selfishly.

The immediate response was that my request is denied.

How could they put a value of ZERO on my child?

So I’m reaching out to my Community to let you know what is happening in your Community. 

The School District denied the safety of a 5 year old child.
The School District denied any door to door bus service.  – I have videos of said door to door service.
    Staff Member’s children are receiving this door to door service, as well as other
    members of this community’s children. 
The School District claims that they serve the best interest of all students and the District.
    Are your children receiving door to door service?
The School District claims that bus stops are limited.
    Why are they picking up students at one location and then stopping at a second location
    approximately 200 feet away to pick up more children?  Can’t those children walk those 200
    feet to limit the extra stop? Is it that there are no sidewalks and that is why these children are
    getting door to door service?  Or is it because the School District is offering Special Treatment to
    certain people and not others?
The School District claims when a funding issue arises the first thing they look at is busing.
The School District is not required to bus students grade nine through twelve. However, they shall provide busing grades K-8. 
    So why would they emphasize cutting busing in a meeting about a 5 year old?



The School District has passed up multiple opportunities to receive Federal Funding administered by ODOT to offset costs to the Taxpayer for improving Safety Conditions, i.e. sidewalks, crossings, and education.   $16 million dollars was dispersed in May for 68 projects ranging from $2,000 to $500,000.
http://www.dot.state.oh.us/news/Pages/Millions-Awarded-to-Local-Communities-Through-ODOT’S-.aspx

I ask you again….how far would you go to protect your child or someone else’s?  What is a child worth?

How much effort would it have taken for the School District to be compassionate and exercise reasonable care for my child?  3 minutes and a trip around the block.

Don’t you think there should be a fair and consistent standard?

Right is RIGHT, no matter how unpopular it is.

For more information contact
mrs.carabrown@yahoo.com 

Conversations with Crackheads: Surprise!

D: Is your social soul good now? I caught up on your blog the other day. You're not addicted to sadness, you're addicted to people.

Even after I told them that I knew what they were planning and invited a few more people to the party, they insisted that I leave my own freaking house so that I could be surprised.  They had spent all day baking, shopping and making party favors:)  AND, I was surprised because they put so much effort into making my day special for me:)  Mojitos, margaritas, candy cigs, balloons, signs, moustaches, beer, wine...you name it, they brought it.  AND they attempted to jump out and scare me, but they were laughing too hard to actually yell "SURPRISE"!

We all had a lovely time, sipped on a few cocktails and all of the lame people (that had to work the next day) left before the dance party and conversations with crackheads;))  (Oh, I must add a super great big thank you because my friends dropped everything at the last minute to come humor me...I even pulled Kristin out of bed:))  But once it was just the hosts and Ron, we started talking about really important things...like biscuits and gravy.

D: Have you seen the show Honey Boo Boo?

A, Me, Ron: ummm, no, we've seen the previews, it looks redic.

D (in her deep, southern drawl voice): OMG, it is sooooo funny.  In one episode the pregnant daughter yells to her mom: Momma, my biscuit hurts, I need to go to the hospital.

Me: Her biscuit hurts?

D: Yeah, the baby is ready to come, it hurts down there, she calls it her biscuit.

A and Ron at the same time: WHAT?!?

D (directed toward Ron): What would you do if Laura told you that her biscuit hurt?

Ron (With...wow...I don't really know what to call it- maybe a rocking motion? Who knows, it was ugly!): I'd give her some gravy.

D, A, Me, Ron: HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER

 Conversations with Crackheads: SURPRISE!!

Busy Mom Conquers the World #1

I'm asked how we fit everything in quite frequently so I thought I'd write some of my tips.  Some of them are serious, some of them are for your entertainment, some of them are learned by finding out what DOESN'T work:) I will try to add a post each month or so. 

HOW TO SCHEDULE IN ONE-ON-ONE TIME:
Have one child "help" with the dishes (also known to slow down the washing process significantly, but the benefits are worth it).  Also works with dusting, laundry, etc. Forced one-on-one time while accomplishing housework.  The child feels needed and you can catch up on their day.

ON ORGANIZATION:
Keep all sporting gear together in one place.  All soccer uniforms, socks, pads, cleats, bows to match the uniforms are in Lilly's room.  Leotards are in Camille's room. This way when they all have games and we have 2.2 minutes to get dressed, I know that everyones "stuff" is ready, in the same spot and ready to go.  (Tell your husband that you have all of the stuff organized or the plan fails when you're not home...miserably!)

ON GETTING THINGS DONE:
Leave the basket of unfolded socks sit in the living room long enough (SOMETIMES OVER A MONTH) that your mom/husband finally matches them because she/he is sick of looking at them.  (I'm really good at this one!!)

THIS WILL BE MY FAVORITE SECTION (if I continue and make Busy Mom Tips a series)...HOW TO BE ON TIME:
While monsters are eating, do their hair.  They are concentrating on putting the food in their mouths and move less than if they are biting/kicking/pushing each other:)  Putting on shoes while eating is also a time saver, but then they do have to walk on the carpet to brush teeth (unless you grab the toothbrushes and have them brush downstairs:))

More on why!

Last night we stopped at my moms house after the soccer game because she invited the kids over.  She let a few tears slip out when she was telling us that her friend from work was diagnosed with the dreaded C word. 

Mimi and Lilly:

It's just not fair!  She just retired. She's just the nicest woman.

Life's not fair, Mimi. Mom tells us that all of the time.

Yeah, I know Lil, that's why you have to have as much fun as you can because you just never know!

Why?

Just because.  Did you have fun today? (Attempt to deflect the answer on her heart)

Because you never know when you're going to die?

Yes, Lilly, because you never know when you're going to die.

  Lilly was satisfied with her answer once she had the truth and my three monsters went on to play basketball, but my mom was still visibly struggling when we left.  Hopefully the video of her handsome grandson helped a little, but really what she wants is an answer to this why!  An answer that so many of us ask without receiving an answer.

This morning I logged into facebook and read two status updates that brought me back to this conversation between my mother and my child.

One from a friend begging prayers for her dear friend that was suddenly a widow.   Her friend, left to pick up the pieces and start over again, without her husband by her side.  How can you not ask WHY!!? How can you not scream WHY from the very top of your lungs??

And then I read another update.  An announcement of the birth of a miracle baby! A baby that the two loving parents hoped and dreamed for, but thought the possibility of this happening, especially one month before her Daddy started chemo, was pretty slim.  They already knew that his counts would be low since the yucky C word was in his young, otherwise healthy body.  The odds weren't in their favor, but God had a plan.  He knew that they needed Ella Grace.  They prayed for her.  She was perfectly packaged as she grew in her Mommy's belly. The hope, the love, the wonder-ever present in her parents' eyes, even while her Daddy was fighting for his life. (Yes, the same people that I was begging prayers for last year when they found their way through the road to recovery, Danny and Ashley DeVito, delivered the most perfect little girl bright and early this morning.  They are so very ready to enjoy new bumps on the road...like sleepless nights and dirty diapers:) Oh, and while we're talking about the DeVito's, they're ditching the recovery part of the road, too!  Danny's scans are clear and clean:))

This morning I am not any closer to answering the "why's" than I was when I first really started digging into my faith. Honestly, when I hear about good people in bad situations, my first question is still WHY!

BUT- I have learned that He is always with me, just as He is always with you...and my mom and her friend...and Linda and her friend...and Ella and her proud parents.  I am going to take Mimi's advice and have as much fun as I can every day because you just never know.  When I'm really struggling with the "why's", I will seek comfort in His words and search for hope in the pain. Ella Grace is my best example of His loving grace today, but if you look around, it's everywhere.  In the snoring choir concert that I attended this morning in my very own bed.  In the beauty of the sunrise each morning. In the difficult conversations with inquisitive, beautiful almost eight year old girls.  All around.

Prayers to my many friends that need them today.  Prayers that they will all be surrounded with God's loving grace.  Happy Birthday, Ella Grace!

  

Source: myblessedlife.net via Lisa on Pinterest

For the record...

It cracks me up when people ask me if a post is about them or, better yet, if they know that I'm not writing about them, but suspect who I am writing about and just have to know who it is.

For the record: If you think I'm writing about you, maybe I am!

Maybe I'm not...does it really matter?  Sometimes I'm just writing to write and not anyone in particular at all! 

And no, it doesn't bother me when you ask.  If I don't want to tell you-I won't, but it makes me smile when you ask:)

Addicted to a Certain Kind of Sadness

What kind of sadness are you addicted to?

I have listened to the song at the bottom of the post quite a few times. It's played on the radio, I've watched them perform the song live on a late night show, I think it's even on my iPod, but a few days ago I heard it on the radio and this line really stuck with me.  I have never really thought about addiction as harmful behavior outside of substance dependence addiction until I couldn't get this line out of my head!  I mean, it's not like you can die from being addicted to shopping or gambling or computer or sex, but I understand that you can be addicted to them. 

Can you be addicted to a certain kind of sadness?

Webster defines addiction as the quality or state of being addicted. 

People seek adrenaline.   I believe they are called adrenaline junkies (which certainly sounds like an addiction to me)!

But sadness?  Can you be addicted to a certain kind of sadness?  I think so.  Maybe, probably, addiction isn't the perfect word, but I think sometimes I feed off of a certain kind of sadness and maybe even seek more of it.

Maybe you are oversensitive to bullying/your child being excluded because you were bullied/left out as a child. Any time your child isn't invited somewhere or you feel that they are left out, does it make you sad for them?  I understand wanting your child to be included and treated right, but when they are excluded, do you let the sadness take over your thoughts, obsess over the "why isn't my child invited?" or "why are the other children excluding my child?"

Or what if you have a difficult problem that you're trying to find the answer to and you start to obsess over it?  We have a client that is fully capable of gathering the necessary information and dropping it off at our office, but they're scared that they are missing something or we will not be satisfied with the documentation provided or something.  They obsess about it and continue to put it off as if the problem will solve itself. 

Grief is a certain kind of sadness that I had to work very hard not to become addicted to.  When I wanted to stay in bed all day, I forced myself to get up, but it would have been very easy to just lay there numb and let the days pass by.   I can totally understand how people can be addicted to this kind of sadness.

What about if you're feeling hopeless in any given situation?  The negative thoughts continue to breed and fester, you focus on the bad, awful, unspeakable, unthinkable-until you're ready to break.

I think I'm certainly drawn to people in need.  If I know that someone is hurting, I feel the need to somehow, someway, make it better.  If I can't make it better, I need to at least let them know that I'm here. Is that an addiction to a certain kind of sadness? 

A friend told me earlier this week that you can't bring a problem to the table without offering a solution.  Well, I'm over writing this week.  All of my creativity has been used up in preparation for Rally Day and I really don't want to offer any solutions today (and I'm still addicted to a certain kind of sadness, so I'd just be blowing smoke up your ass;))




Are you addicted to a certain kind of sadness?

Forgive, but Accept

First, I think everyone should find something that challenges them to think, actually exercise your brain.  Bible study always does this for me. 

This week (along with many other things), I took away this little gem from Pastor Jen and have been thinking about it for a while now: Forgive, but accept!

I think sometimes we believe that if we forgive someone fully, that along with that forgiveness should come the restoration of the relationship.  Once we truly forgive, that things should go back to how things were before the stone was thrown, the word was said, the occasion was missed, or the time was gone.

Sometimes that isn't possible.  Sometimes there is too much pain, sometimes the stone is at the very bottom of the deepest ocean and can't be found, not even with scuba gear!  Sometimes the time runs out.

Forgiveness is POWERFUL!  Jesus died the cruelest death during his time in the flesh, a death of execution on the cross, so that we are offered forgiveness.  Powerful stuff!  I ask for forgiveness of my sins often. I try to remember to say "I'm sorry" even when it's hard to say because forgiveness is powerful.

But sometimes even after we offer and/or accept forgiveness, we need to also accept the things that we can't change.

Even if we have truly forgiven, let go of all of the negative dung in our heart, sometimes we just need to accept the new relationship for what it is. 

Maybe the friend that used to finish your sentences will only ever be that...a friend that used to finish your sentences. 

Maybe your relative used to be your confidant, but now they are simply your relative.

Maybe even though you want the relationship to be restored to "before" it just can't be.  Not because there is any hate left, just because it will never be the same.

Forgive, but accept.

Source: sawdustcityllc.com via Laura on Pinterest