Disease free, but not free of disease...

When I started this blog, it was my release.  My own space to bitch and complain if that's what I wanted to do. Now that it has followers, I rarely use it as a release these days. 

I hope this doesn't turn into a complaining post, but I want to be honest as I continue on this survivor journey. I want to talk about how I feel like I'm cancer free, but I'm not free of cancer.

FATIGUE.  So you hear about fatigue as a side effect, but you think to yourself, yeah, I've been tired before too. FOR ME (maybe some people actually feel fatigue without a disease) I had never experienced fatigue.  Tired? Yes.  Multiple sleepless nights with children, caregiver to a cancer patient, up too late with too many drinks?  You bet ya.  Fatigue is a completely different ball game.

I can handle the joint pain.  It's more annoying than painful. A little reminder when I stand up too fast that my body went through hell this year and fought cancer.  Pain, I can handle.  Shooting, phantom pains in my armpits where the nerves are trying to send signals to the boobs, but my foobs don't have nerve endings to shoot to-yeah, I can handle those, too. The constant dull headache I have had since I started this maintenance drug, I'm sure I'll get used to that, too. Even the night sweats and hot flashes are manageable.

BUT THIS FATIGUE. Well plainly stated, it sucks. I just want to have energy again and not feel tired all of the time.  SO, even though it is the VERY.LAST.THING that I want to do tonight, I'm going to start working out with the hopes that I can combat this fatigue with endorphins.  I'm going to start slow with a yoga video and some lifting tonight.

Hopefully in a week/two I can report that I feel a little more free of disease!  For those of you that will worry that I'm still tired.  My oncologist and radiologist said that it is TOTALLY normal to suffer from fatigue for a year.  It is not uncommon to battle fatigue FoReVeR after cancer treatment.

Cancer Sucks, Post 123205982309670948365-09831249873209874

Disease free, but not free of disease.

Still energy enough for lots of love,