For the nonfacebook crew: Ovaries and stomach fluid tested was clear and cancer free! Strict medical instructions: Get busy living!! Thank you all from the very bottom of my heart for all the love and prayers this year.
One of the reasons that I LOVE my oncologist is because over and over and over again she tells me: "We are in this to cure you!" Her hands are not that big, but the hands of her Creator are.
I feel like He put her in my journey because He knew that I needed her. See, when Mary Jo pulled some strings to get us in with a world renowned surgeon, we really had no plans of making the Clinic the place for all of my treatment. I agreed (reluctantly and with my normal itchy-bay attitude) to meet with a specialist in each area that I would need treatment. I would listen to their opinion, but I had every intention of coming back to Toledo and having treatment at UTMC.
But then we met Holly and it was love at first sight. When I told her that I was going to check my options back home and get back to her, she offered to assist in any way she could if we decided on a different oncologist. When I told her we decided that she was worth the drive, she hugged me and told me she will fight right alongside me every step of the way. When I wasn't 100% sold on the surgeon or his recommended course of action, my oncologist said to keep researching and find the one that I liked best.
When I had the double mastectomy she stalked my charts waiting for the reports. She was prepared for each of my questions. (Once again, for anyone that is or may be diagnosed, I can't stress enough how important it is to advocate for yourself. Understand how things work and ask questions! They will work with you to find the best plan of action if you communicate with them. If I would have just went with the flow, my plan would have been wait a few weeks/month so that they could schedule a surgeon and plastics team. Most likely they would have only chopped off one boob immediately and I would have had to have the other chopped off later. My genetics testing wouldn't have been confirmed and the first surgeon did not want to unnecessarily remove a healthy boobie. Because I was not confident with the surgeon and I knew immediately that I want BOTH boobies chopped off, I was firm and decisive when I told them what I wanted. We were able to come up with a plan that everyone was comfortable with. Chemo first, confirm genetic results, surgery and then radiation. Ok, done ranting about patient advocating now;))
After my ovary removal surgery, she couldn't wait to tell me the good pathology report. She provided information on the new drug that I started and will continue to take for at least five years. Studies are in progress that will most likely prove the benefit of taking them for ten plus years. I asked her about side effects and how to manage them. She patiently answered, but more importantly reassured me that she was not abandoning me and I should call anytime that I have questions. Rarely do admit that I need support from others, but I needed her during this journey. It was like God sent her to me at the moment I was ready to break apart into a million pieces and she hugged them back together again.
This is totally not where I was planning to go with this post. Back to the subject: Put you Faith in Big Hands.
As you can tell from my rambling, from the very beginning, I haven't been following MY plan. I've been following HIS. I've been listening with my heart. Absorbing the thousands and thousands of prayers that have been shouted in my name. Putting all of my faith in big hands. The only hands big enough to hold me when I'm so fragile. His hands and heart.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for everything. For the prayers, cards, goodies, cleaning, donations, shoveling, tea parties, jewelry, tshirts, scarves, wishing well, beer, gift cards, turnpike pass, just everything. I can never repay all of you for the endless love and support.
Even though I can never repay all of you personally, I can tell you that I'll give back what I can. My love, prayers, and personal experience is where I'm starting. I can tell you that my first attempt, the teeny tiny start to giving back...it felt amazing. BOTH of my favorite nurses came to visit and said that they have never been broken up with before. Hugs and smiles and "I can't wait to hear about the kids in three months!" When I told Holly about the blanket and how I wanted her to pick the next young mother that lands in her office, she agreed. She said that every day she sits down and tells AT LEAST one woman EVERY DAY that they have breast cancer. On her two days a week at the Breast Care Clinic that number increases significantly. She will have no problem picking the right person, I'm sure. She remembers our first appointment vividly (Heidi was there) so I'm guessing she will pick the next patient that is loud and obnoxious;)
I really never stopped living, but I don't plan to stop now, so I'll follow this medical order with pride.
Put your faith in big hands,
---------------------------------------
One of the reasons that I LOVE my oncologist is because over and over and over again she tells me: "We are in this to cure you!" Her hands are not that big, but the hands of her Creator are.
I feel like He put her in my journey because He knew that I needed her. See, when Mary Jo pulled some strings to get us in with a world renowned surgeon, we really had no plans of making the Clinic the place for all of my treatment. I agreed (reluctantly and with my normal itchy-bay attitude) to meet with a specialist in each area that I would need treatment. I would listen to their opinion, but I had every intention of coming back to Toledo and having treatment at UTMC.
But then we met Holly and it was love at first sight. When I told her that I was going to check my options back home and get back to her, she offered to assist in any way she could if we decided on a different oncologist. When I told her we decided that she was worth the drive, she hugged me and told me she will fight right alongside me every step of the way. When I wasn't 100% sold on the surgeon or his recommended course of action, my oncologist said to keep researching and find the one that I liked best.
When I had the double mastectomy she stalked my charts waiting for the reports. She was prepared for each of my questions. (Once again, for anyone that is or may be diagnosed, I can't stress enough how important it is to advocate for yourself. Understand how things work and ask questions! They will work with you to find the best plan of action if you communicate with them. If I would have just went with the flow, my plan would have been wait a few weeks/month so that they could schedule a surgeon and plastics team. Most likely they would have only chopped off one boob immediately and I would have had to have the other chopped off later. My genetics testing wouldn't have been confirmed and the first surgeon did not want to unnecessarily remove a healthy boobie. Because I was not confident with the surgeon and I knew immediately that I want BOTH boobies chopped off, I was firm and decisive when I told them what I wanted. We were able to come up with a plan that everyone was comfortable with. Chemo first, confirm genetic results, surgery and then radiation. Ok, done ranting about patient advocating now;))
After my ovary removal surgery, she couldn't wait to tell me the good pathology report. She provided information on the new drug that I started and will continue to take for at least five years. Studies are in progress that will most likely prove the benefit of taking them for ten plus years. I asked her about side effects and how to manage them. She patiently answered, but more importantly reassured me that she was not abandoning me and I should call anytime that I have questions. Rarely do admit that I need support from others, but I needed her during this journey. It was like God sent her to me at the moment I was ready to break apart into a million pieces and she hugged them back together again.
This is totally not where I was planning to go with this post. Back to the subject: Put you Faith in Big Hands.
As you can tell from my rambling, from the very beginning, I haven't been following MY plan. I've been following HIS. I've been listening with my heart. Absorbing the thousands and thousands of prayers that have been shouted in my name. Putting all of my faith in big hands. The only hands big enough to hold me when I'm so fragile. His hands and heart.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for everything. For the prayers, cards, goodies, cleaning, donations, shoveling, tea parties, jewelry, tshirts, scarves, wishing well, beer, gift cards, turnpike pass, just everything. I can never repay all of you for the endless love and support.
Even though I can never repay all of you personally, I can tell you that I'll give back what I can. My love, prayers, and personal experience is where I'm starting. I can tell you that my first attempt, the teeny tiny start to giving back...it felt amazing. BOTH of my favorite nurses came to visit and said that they have never been broken up with before. Hugs and smiles and "I can't wait to hear about the kids in three months!" When I told Holly about the blanket and how I wanted her to pick the next young mother that lands in her office, she agreed. She said that every day she sits down and tells AT LEAST one woman EVERY DAY that they have breast cancer. On her two days a week at the Breast Care Clinic that number increases significantly. She will have no problem picking the right person, I'm sure. She remembers our first appointment vividly (Heidi was there) so I'm guessing she will pick the next patient that is loud and obnoxious;)
Doctors and nurses are such a HUGE part of your life during treatment. I saw them more than most of my friends and family. I know where they vacationed and which ones wife has fake boobs done by my plastic surgeon and which ones ride a motorcycle...I will miss them and they are appreciated.
You're terrified. Who beats this!? What should I expect?
This is the gift I left for the next survivor. My oncologist will give it to her when she is thinking these emotions plus a million trillion more. Complete with blog address and which date/title to start with.
I really never stopped living, but I don't plan to stop now, so I'll follow this medical order with pride.
Put your faith in big hands,
God is good. So grateful for your good news.
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