Guest Blog: Portrayal

Excited to post the first guest blog in quite some time.  I have a couple other people that have committed to a post over the next couple weeks as well!

 Cheryl is a fellow cancer survivor and one of my very dear friends. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I did...I will certainly be more conscious when the monsters ask me why I am exercising!?

Portrayal

According to Webster's Dictionary portrayal is: The act or process of depicting or portraying.  For me this means the manner in which I wish to portray myself to my children. 

In today's society we are bombarded with different portrayals of women.  I know that I cannot prevent my children from all these sources, but I can control how I present myself to them.  I'm not going to start a rant about the media and how it should change.  But I can hope to maybe shed a little light as to why I think this is important.

 When I found out that I was going to have a girl I was terrified.  I knew exactly the kind of role model I did not want to be but was clueless as to how I was going to be otherwise. Growing up I had a close family member who constantly reminded me that my outward appearance was more important than anything else while constantly reminding me that my appearance was not good enough.  The comments were always hurtful and degrading.  This is exactly the kind of thing I wanted to avoid.

For those of you who know me, you are probably thinking "When have I ever heard a negative comment or something degrading". Well, I save those for myself,  in my head.  Because of all the comments and ridicule from childhood I have a horrible self image.  It has taken me years to forgive the person who imbedded this portrayal of myself and realize how untrue it is. 

Due to those feelings I am always very careful of what I say around my girls.  I never voice out loud if I am having a bad day and whatever negative thoughts I may have about myself.  You will never hear me say in front of my children "I need to exercise more since those chocolate chip cookies found their way into my belly", or "Better lay off the pizza my thighs are expanding". I will never ask if I look fat in an outfit or anything that resembles this question or even state that I feel fat today.  These are the types of comments that made me become extremely conscious of how I looked, whether they were directed at me or not.

My oldest daughter asked me once why I run and exercise.  I thought carefully about my answer and decided that the truth would be best.  I told her it was because I wanted to be a healthy Mommy so that I could run around and play with my kids and I like to run, it gives me time to think.  She looked at me, cocked her head to one side and said "that's a good idea Mom".  I don't want my children to think that exercise is performed just to lose weight or look good.  I want to emphasize that living a healthy lifestyle will make you feel better and have more energy.

In truth the reason why I started running cross country all those years ago was to hopefully please the person who ridiculed me the most.  After high school I stopped running since I wasn't around that person anymore.  When I did start running again it was for my health and the pure enjoyment of it.   

I guess the point I am trying to get across is to be conscious of what you say around your children about yourself.  Trust me they pick up on it.  For me the goal is to make sure my children are caring individuals who have a positive image of who they are.  Not an image that is tainted by someone else's negative feelings.  If I can portray myself as a caring person that gives to others and has a positive outlook on life and hope that it rubs off on my children, what more could I ask for.

 

              The girls and I before my first quarter marathon.  I know Paige looks thrilled! It was pretty early in the morning. They are still my biggest fans though!!

Although sometimes I think they go just to hang out at the pool or hot tub!!

Later,

Cheryl