Getting used to FOOBS!

I'm a big fan of made up words.  I like to play around on Urban Dictionary and have even submitted a few of my own definitions.  Well, I heard this one and immediately loved it.  FOOBS=Fake Boobs.

As promised, this week I will touch on what it's like when you're forced to get used to foobs.  I use "forced" because I didn't choose to be diagnosed with breast cancer and I do not want to live the rest of my life as the CEO of the itty bitty titty committee.  But actually, I'm not forced to have reconstruction.  Many women find it liberating to go without foobs and I have viewed many pictures of women that have a tattoo in place of reconstruction. During my two weeks as CEO I'm happy that I opted for immediate reconstruction.

I have posted about getting "pumped up" on facebook, but I haven't really explained what they do.  After the boob chop, my surgeon (Dr. Joseph Crowe: amazing and I highly recommend him) handed me over to my plastic surgeon (Dr. Risal Djohan: equally amazing, highly recommend him and also kind of demanding;)).  Dr. Djohan placed tissue expanders where my real boobies once were (except under the muscle) and sewed me up.  (He used three layers of stitching and the outside was closed with durabond (medical glue)). When I look at pictures online of other women two weeks post op, my incision sites are at the very top as far as appearance is concerned. 

Now I go see Dr. Djohan once every week/two to get pumped up.  The tissue expanders are a hard, but movable plastic.  Since they are placed under muscle, when they pump me up, they are also expanding muscle.  This causes muscle spasms and pain.   Sharp pain that takes your breath away.

The day before my second expansion, I met the newest addition to my team of doctors.  I prepared for my appointment. Paperwork:check. Mam X-rays: check. Lab results, path results, prescription list, treating docs, etc: check check check. I am a well informed patient.  I took the picture below to encourage others to do the same.  If you aren't responsible for your care, on your toes and inquisitive, who is keeping the doctors informed, up to date and ready?  You have to fight hard for your life if you want them to join you in the very important fight.
 

I pulled in the drive to the radiologist appointment and remembered all of my dad's appointments there.... You simply can't prepare for that.  I'm terrible with directions. I can't decipher North/South when I'm driving. I don't look for landmarks. I type in the address and listen to the lady talk to me. I knew the office was at St. Luke's, but it didn't register that it was Northwest Ohio Oncology building, Dr. Ritter's office until I was in the parking lot. My paperwork read Toledo Radiation Oncology and I was focused on Dr. Shaneli Fernando. Well, no matter how prepared you are for an appointment, this kind of take your breath away feeling isn't something you can prepare for! Luckily I left in enough time to sit in the parking lot and compose myself.  I prayed.  I cried. I took deep breaths. I told my dad how much I miss him.  I thanked God for all that I have.

And I walked in the doctor's office with my head held high and ready to discuss radiation.  I loved Dr. Fernando.  I instantly clicked with her like I did with my oncologist, Dr. Dushkin.  She commented that it is refreshing to have a patient so well informed and level headed when it comes to risk vs. reward.  Bluntly I explained that my life is the reward that I want the most and the appearance of my foobs is secondary to that. 

My plastic surgeon is a perfectionist.  He is fighting for the reward of wonderful looking and feeling foobs.  I want wonderful looking and feeling foobs, but my most important goal is life.  The radiologist needs to do what she needs to do regardless of the foobs.  So,  when we discussed some of the side effects of radiation, I made my objective clear.  Blast away and we'll deal with skin breakdown if it comes to that.  Skin breakdown and scarring sometimes occurs due to the radiation.  Sometimes this requires the tissue expanders to be removed and then you're back at square one with the foobs.  Subsequent surgeries would have to take place to start another foob and this situation would be super *not fun.  Still, the radiation is necessary for my end goal of living a long life.  It is more important to me, even it compromises my foobs. I want to make sure there is not a cancer recurrence if at all possible.

With this in mind, my radiologist informed me that she would like to start radiation sooner rather than later.  She laughed and said to tell my plastics that he should work his magic since he expects the top results from her.  I told my plastics that my radiologist wants to fit me by mid-November and he has agreed to pump me up by then.

For this to happen though, they are going to have to pump me up at a quicker pace.  Marci played taxi for me this week.  She was able to join me for one of the most amusing appointments because I had some fun questions. So, I laid on the table as she read off my list of questions and Dr. Djohan answered.   How fragile are my foobs?  When can I run?  When can I yoga?  When can I be intimate?  While he was answering the questions, he stuck a needle into each foob and added more fluid. Today they put 80ccs of fluid into each foob. My new rack is expanded to the point that it hurts to breathe, but no pain, no gain, right!? I'm going in next week for more! 

My incisions are healing well!  I need to continue to massage the tissue to minimize scar tissue.  I'm allowed to jog and start to raise my arms! 

I'm still getting used to foobs.

I am starting back to work tomorrow though, so I must attempt to sleep now!

Sweet dreams of perky, pretty, minimally radiation effected foobs,





Marci asked if she was supposed to document a pump up appointment.  I'm not THAT confident in my foobs yet.  Not sure if I will ever be, but I will model for the inquisitive minds.  Don't scroll down if you're not nosey;)










STOP SCROLLING, SHEESH;)








Yes, I blocked this post on my little cousins facebook newsfeed and any other high school monster that I'm friends with.





 You will not be able to see scars in a bra/swim suit other than a little tiny bit in my left arm pit.  I'm almost a B already and I'm modeling a hand me down bra from one of my besties.