Happy Father's Day

One of the reasons I haven't felt like writing is because my friends have pointed out that my posts are kind of depressing. I have re-read many of them and can't say that I disagree, but since it's my blog and I have admitted that it's my outlet, they're just going to have to live with it!! Tonight Lilly's softball game was cancelled so I voted for ice cream...ice cream from Pee Wee's makes anyone feel better, right? Since we were half way to Perrysburg I reminded Aaron that this weekend is Father's Day...his response, as expected, what are "we" as in what are "you" getting my dad?

My immediate response was, I don't know, I CAN'T (as in don't get to) buy a gift for my dad...didn't really think about what to get your dad. Not that Chris isn't a wonderful father to me, he is, I just really didn't want to think about the day at all! It's not like I used to make a big ordeal about Father's Day either. I would buy my dad a golf shirt and some golf balls and call it a day...but this year he can't really use a golf shirt or golf balls so I'm really not that enthusiastic about celebrating the day.

After our Mother's Day cookout all Aaron said he wanted for Father's Day was a day of nothing to do. Instead I will go to church, go to Lilly's softball game and he'll go to work...probably not exactly what he "wanted", but I'm not planning to have everyone over so that's a start! Honestly, I don't really want to think about the day at all and would prefer to think of it as just another Sunday. Not meaning to take away from Aaron or his Dad, but this year I'd rather it just be another Sunday.

Once I started looking at old pictures I can't help but to wish I was buying another dumb golf shirt that Jake would eventually "steal" from my dad. I can't help but to wish for one more Father's Day so that I could make it more special than a card, a letter or even sharing a cry in the hospital bed together. I can't help to wish for just one more hug, one more smile, one more grounding because I found fake ID's for Jake and Scottie to get into the club when they were in high school, one more I'm proud of you babe, one more.

I am sad that this is a "first" for Sara, Erin and Steven. I'm sad that it's a tenth for Grant. I'm sad that it doesn't make it any easier with any amount of years.

Still, my love love love blogger friend is having an angelversary only days after Father's Day. An anniversary date that I can't comprehend or find words to express my sadness for her and her boys and how I wish I could take just an ounce of her pain away. How once again I am humbled and grateful, even when she thinks she is only "existing" she is keeping Connor's legacy alive and proving that she is not only existing, but changing the world. I am grounded and forced to look at each day because of her strong and courageous words. I am once again forced to think of life in her terms, in words that she writes "If today was your last day, would the legacy you left behind be one your proud of? Have you made enough memories to last a lifetime? One day that's all that will be left of you is memories...make every moment count!" because she is inspiring

I can find comfort knowing that I will always be a Daddy's Girl and can think of the one million memories that he left me with. These are only a few of the ones that I cherish most. Make your days count.

The trip down Heaven Help me...from beginning to end.

The picture I gave to my dad the day before his first treatment..."Goodluck Pipi"

Thanksgiving 08

Thanksgiving 09

MOST of the Runions Thanksgiving 09

Mimi Pipi and Lillybug

Camille and Pipi

Keegan and Pipi

Even when he couldn't read to them, he tried.

Near the end of our roommate situation

One of the last good pictures...

Make your days count. Tell the people that are dear to you that you love them, that you appreciate them and the you don't want to imagine your life without them. Happy Father's Day Dad. I love you.