Wind

Whipping, swirling, howling, stopping, spinning, humming, whistling, dancing, singing...

Last night I went to my room after a wonderful, yet exhausting day with my children. I could barely finish a chapter in my book before I crashed, but when I woke up in the middle of the night I couldn't fall back to sleep. I was haunted by the sound of the wind. Listening to it crescendo with great intensity and then calm to a quiet hum outside my window, I couldn't help but compare the sounds I was hearing to life. Maybe it was because of the story I read on facebook minutes before calling it a night, maybe it was because of the recent tragedy in our small town, or maybe the book I am reading and how it applies to my life, but I couldn't shake the feeling.

My thoughts were consumed with comparing times of calm to times of insanity, standstills that I thought nothing could ever go wrong and points were I felt complete despair. So many times in life we are put in situations where we are confused, like the wind is swirling around our head, like a train whistle rather than a hum, the sound is intense and cannot be quieted.

I am positive that this is how the Wiechman family is feeling right now. Asking themselves will it ever slow down; stop swirling and spinning and let us rest? Who knows maybe even let us dance and sing? I do not know the family well but am aware that their young lives have been filled with tragedy and pain. Already having lost both parents and now one of their brothers is simply not fair. I hope they know that our hearts are breaking for them. The entire community is praying for them to make it through this difficult time and to keep the faith. In the few emails I have shared with Mark's family, they are proving the adage "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" completely true, even the first words of one of their written response to me. AMAZING!

They have been dealt a junk hand over and over again and they still hold strong in faith. They take a break when the wind subsides to attempt to explain death to their children even though they can barely choke out the words. At times like this it is very difficult to feel Him walking beside you. So I thought I'd share my friends story in case some of you aren't friends with them on facebook or in real life. In the event that you are questioning why!? In case, just maybe, you need a little caffeine in your faith!

As the cold winter winds were being replaced by the fresh spring breeze about four years ago, I walked with my friend in an attempt to, as she puts it, get some of the jiggles off. We had attempted, are currently on a quest, and will probably always continue to attempt this feat during our friendship, but the year I am writing about, she was pregnant.

Since she had previously miscarried, she was rightfully worried. When she would express her anxiety and concern to me, I would downplay her worries and tell her that everything was going to be fine. (That's what friends do, right?) As the pregnancy continued she continued to tell me that something was different. Over and over again, I would tell her she was crazy (yes, this is one of the situations you look back and think, hmmm, probably should have used different words, or simply listened more and talked less). But instead I continued to tell her everything would be fine, just relax and enjoy her pregnancy. When I got the call that she was in the hospital, way, way too early, I felt like I couldn't breathe. She was right, he is different. Nobody knew he would change the world.

When I went to visit her, I was terrified and not just for her unborn child. When they moved her to a better hospital, the same terror was in everyone's voice, written on their faces for the world to see. It was frightening to think of her delivering her baby so early. His lungs weren't going to be ready! He was too small! Why was this happening?!?

I will never forget walking hand in hand with two of my best friends down the hall in the NICU to meet their little miracle baby. I fought back all of my tears. I had to be brave for them. I had to believe with all my heart that this baby was going to be alright. I had been telling my friend for so long that everything was going to be ok, it just had to be! He had to be strong enough to make it through the surgery, for his lungs to develop, he just had to. So many people were praying for him to fight. So many people loved him well before they met him.

Then I received the next call. This dear sweet child, so tiny and small, has CF. Immediately I turned to the internet. I had to know everything about CF. I had to know that he could win this fight too! The literature is frightening. Immediately that "can't breathe" feeling was back. The wind was howling, we all prayed for miracles. We all prayed so very hard for the world to stop spinning for our friends and their miracle baby. Again, I went to the NICU. This time with my favorite fictional storybook in hand, "The Power of One". Carson was going to be a fighter; he was going to change the world, just like the character in the story did. I had to believe this. I prayed for it.

If you don't know the Slates family or Carson, you might not know that he is already changing the world. He's 3! He has already changed more lives than most people do in 90 years. He is special, he is one of a kind, he's a fighter.

Last night Carson moved his parents to tears. He walked up to Amy, pulled up his shirt and asked Amy what the line on his belly was? Amy explained that it was the scar from his surgery when he was first born. Carson started asking about the surgery and said "Mommy who was sitting & watching during the surgery?" He had his parents puzzled. They couldn't figure out what he was talking about! After a couple of minutes he said "It was Jesus watching me"!

Carson is 3! He is already changing the world. He is smart enough to realize that even when the wind is stinging cold, whirling and spinning you in every direction, when you don't feel like you can catch your breath, He is there. Watching over you, walking beside you, loving you. The wind only sings and dances with Carson these days, even if there is a tornado outside, even if he is taking his medicine or his never ending breathing treatments. Jesus is inside of him, the spirit lives in him.

Praying that spring comes soon and brings the gentle breeze for everyone out there that could use some relief. Take comfort in Carson's words. He is watching you, too!