Mandatory Fun

So, one of my pseudo-cousins was here a while back visiting. I believe she (and her husband) always have a wonderful time when they come to Ohio to visit. However, prior to their visit, her husband was asked by a co-worker or friend "Why in the world are you going to Woodville, Ohio?". His response was "MANDATORY FUN"! I think this is hilarious! Seriously, too funny!

Many of you know that my husband prefers to be at our house, in his comfort zone, whenever possible. He really could care less about attending cookouts, weddings, housewarming parties, church, and performances at the Stranahan Theater...oh, and the list goes on and on really! Please don't take offense if he does not attend something that you host because it's not you...it's him!

Last week we were invited to something, I forget what it was, Aim, and I knew before I even asked him what his answer would be. I politely turned down the invitation and said it wasn't worth using a "we are doing this, or else" card. If I really want to go and he really doesn't I usually go by myself, but my question is:

What types of "mandatory fun" do you make your significant other attend?

AND

How do you decide whether the "mandatory fun" is worth a "we are doing this, or else" card?

Comments welcome:)

PS: LOVE MODERN FAMILY!!

The only thing in life that is constant...change

I am trying really hard to find positives with the changing of the season this year. The darkest times in my mind correlate with the change from summer to fall. The cold and rain brings me back to difficult days and the sting is painful. In a month my Dad will be gone from this world for a year. The seasons will continue to change. Life will continue to change. The only thing in life that is constant is change.

We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.
~Harrison Ford

As soon as a baby meets the outside world, they start to transform. They gradually spread out their little arms and legs, open their eyes more frequently and cry out for attention. Some loose hair, some grow hair, some look like Mommy, some look like Daddy. One thing is certain, they are always changing. It doesn’t seem to bother them.

Nothing that is can pause or stay;
The moon will wax, the moon will wane,
The mist and cloud will turn to rain,
The rain to mist and cloud again,
Tomorrow be today.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

To me it seems like children change every second! Their hair grows, they loose teeth, they gain attitude. They are constantly learning and testing the waters. Their attitudes and mannerisms are always changing as they grow. It doesn’t seem to bother them.

"Great changes in the destiny of mankind can be effected only in the minds of little children." - Sir Herbert Read

Once we grow up, change is much more difficult! We get into routines; we enjoy the security of knowing what will happen next. We grow to expect who will complete certain tasks. We rely on certain people to provide emotional support or lend a hand or simply just be there. One day they aren’t and it’s difficult. When we are forced to deal with change it shakes our world.

Those who expect moments of change to be comfortable and free of conflict have not learned their history. ~Joan Wallach Scott

Sometimes moving half way across the country is the best decision for your immediate family. Financially and strategically the move positions you at the most advantageous place in the current work force. Everyone in the family is in complete agreement that the move should and will take place, but that doesn’t make the transition any easier. Family and friends are left behind. People that you were used to seeing daily are now miles and miles away. What is your response to change?

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.
~Irene Peter

When a family member passes away it changes the entire dynamic of the family. People assume different roles, fill their spare time with different activities and start a new normal. Sometimes new people fill the void of once familiar characters in the story. As an adult rather than a child, how will you react?

If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies. ~Author Unknown

Imagine working all of your life to get to a point of financial stability. Anxiously you count down the years until you are able to retire. You dream of vacations, visiting your grandchildren and relaxing on your patio. Within a few short months you have full custody of your grandchild because one parent isn’t able to care for the child and the other decides life on earth is too difficult. Pretty big change, how would you react?

The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind. ~William Blake

What if you were 18, had the whole world in front of you, planned to attend a prestigous military school...until you collapsed on the lacross field and were diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy and congestive heart failure. How would you handle the change of being on the waiting list for a heart transplant? for a little backgroud click here How would you deal with the changes after your heart transplant? In constant fear of rejection and infection or would you continue to tell people "Life is Good!"? Over two years post heart transplant, this young man is dealing with rejection and infection, but still trying to protect his family and friends from how bad the change really is. Would you be as graceful in your response to such change?

Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

What makes change so much easier for babies and small children? Is it their lack of fear of change? Perhaps it is because they are more sheltered from the bad changes than adults. Is it because they have complete faith in the support network provided by their family? Maybe it’s because the outlook of children is much more positive and uplifting than that of most adults.

Everyone deals with change, but the way each person deals with it is completely different. As I deal with change, I have decided to give the quote below my heart and best effort. Physical changes are hard enough. Have you ever tried to loose weight or maybe you drastically changed your hair color, it’s difficult. Changes on the inside are even more difficult than the changes on the outside, but so far the changes on the inside have been worth it.

This is your life, don’t close your eyes.


Romans 12:2
New International Version (NIV)
2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

PS: I was totally "poor me-ing" this weekend thinking about how things change...until I thought about some of the other people I know that are dealing with much bigger changes than me! Today I am trying to focus on the positive changes. Oscar, an absolutely wonderful and amazing change went to church for the first time. Very soon I'll get to see pictures of Cooper (taken by Rachel Vanoven so they will be absolutely 100% adorable, no doubt)! And other gleeful changes to come, too!

Prayers to the Coy family, the sweet girl and her grandparents and everyone else having a rough time with change.

Friday's Friendly Fun

I'm going to TRY to post something friendly and/or fun every Friday. Sometimes it will be a story, maybe a poem, a quote or simply a picture.

I wrote this for a friend a while back that was having an emotional day. Most parents have or will feel like this at some point because with the busy schedules we all have, sometimes that bonding time can get lost in: "Hurry up and eat, we have to get to the soccer game!" or "Seriously, I don't care if you can't find Mommy Dinosaur-I'm going to be late to work!!"

Dear busy parents,

If you weren’t rushing around to get here, here and here would you love your kids more?

If you didn’t put on your big girl pants and heels or your work boots and uniform every morning would you be able to provide the lifestyle your kids deserve?

If they didn’t feel so loved that they think of their babysitters as family, wouldn’t that make you sad?

Do you think they will be thankful once they are old enough to realize all the sacrifices that you make for them?

Do you take every opportunity to tell them that you love them and are proud of them?

If you didn’t have a special bond with your children do you think they would miss spending time with you?

When you are feeling disconnected from your kids or they try to put a guilt trip on you, remember these questions. Someday they will realize, like we all did, that their mother’s and father's did everything in their power to mold, shape and raise successful, loving, respectful children.

When you are exhausted, physically and emotionally, zip your big people pants back up and take an extra minute when you tuck them in to tell them how special they are to you:) They will feel it!

Be silly and giggle today! Happy Friday!

Random Facts #1

A friend recently started a blog and I love it. I wish I would be as motivated as her when I pack the kids lunch, but that's besides the point;) She's funny, down to earth and gorgeous, not cute;) You can follow her blog hereThe Magnone Blog . Anyways, I read her random facts and loved it, so here are some of mine!

I HATE 99.9% of Aaron's shoes. I don't care that they are biodegradable. I don't care that they are made from recycled material! I am all for his inner-hippie mentality, but come on! He wears these things EVERYWHERE! This is the closest I could find since he has an older model. He reminds me that they are supposed to last 20 (TWENTY) years! AWESOME!

Last year he dressed up as Richard Simmons. Our friends asked him where he found shoes to match his costume. IN HIS CLOSET!!! They were his prize possession merely two years prior to using them in his costume. Hate his shoes, but I have learned that if I tell him that I don't like something he wears it more, so I deal with it. I bought him two pairs of shoes last night...he is returning BOTH of them. Lovely.

I have a closet full of scrapbook stuff that does not ever get used anymore. It makes me sad that I don't make time to do it, but I have come to grips with the fact that I will NEVER get caught up. I'm thinking I'm going to do one nice scrapbook for each child's first year, then do the shutterfly or snapfish ones for the rest.

I hate to shave my legs!

I sweat even when it's freezing cold out. Yes, I've tried Mitchem and other deoderants claiming to help the underarm moisture problems...they don't help me.

I would love to get my mommy pouch taken off, but Aaron "loves me the way I am"...throw up in my mouth!! The extra skin is gross and annoying and I wish it would disappear. He tells me to save my own money-I just might start!

Unless I have a client meeting or Nina just did my hair, I go to work every morning with wet hair and when it dries I put it in a pony tail or braid. I do not understand how women have time in their day to actually make themselves look pretty every day! Or I just don't care enough to try!

I LOVE to have people over. I'm thinking about donating a dinner party for 8 to the raffle. Do you think anyone other than my friends will bid on it? It doesn't matter if it's my friends, Lilly's, Camille's or Keegan's, I just LOVE to have people over! I even like it when Aaron's friends come over to watch football...most of the time! Keegan had his first boy play date this weekend and once the usual suspects showed up we had 12 little monsters playing all over the yard and house. As I put each little goblin on the trampoline, I snuck a kiss. Watching them all giggle and play makes me so happy inside.


That's it for today. This was fun, but should have been sleeping instead of babbling bright and early this morning. I'll probably do another random facts:)

First attempt at a Sunday Message-FAIL!

My first attempt at a Sunday morning message=fail. Good attempt, but fail:) My message next month will be much more like the writing people are used to, but I had fun with this message, so here it is anyways:)

“Life’s Rules”

When Pastor Jen asked me to share a message about this scripture, she suggested many different approaches to this reading, but no matter what avenue I chose, she stressed that the message should be from my heart. As I read the scripture my first thought was to go with “how do I give to God?” or maybe “what legacy will you leave?”, but then I thought about the things closest to my heart. Since I hold my children closest to my heart I thought about how I could explain this passage to my children. It is amazing what you can learn when you think about how to teach your children!

Why do I have to be quiet at the library and wear my seatbelt in the car?

Rules Rules Rules!! Like I shared with the children earlier, there are rules everywhere: at school, at the library, driving in the car. It isn’t any different when you are an adult. We are still expected to follow all of the rules and the laws that we have been taught throughout life. You are expected to pay the speeding ticket even if the majority of the time you don’t speed. You have to pay a penalty if you file your taxes late one year even though you have paid them timely the fifty years prior.

Why do we abide by laws, pay taxes or obey the speed limit? Consequences. It is common knowledge that a fine will be owed, a higher premium will follow a speeding ticket and if you commit more severe infractions that you may even spend some time in prison. You will be held accountable if you are found guilty of breaking a law.


Why shouldn’t I make fun of the girl that has holes in her jeans? Why should I forgive them? They were the ones being mean! Why do we pray every night? Why do we have to go visit Grandma instead of going to the park?

Rules Rules Rules!! But a different, more difficult to follow set of rules.

In this passage Jesus is asked a trick question: What rules does he follow? Does he follow God’s rules or people’s rules? His response is simple “Give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.”


We know man’s rules because they are written into laws, they are enforced and we have immediate consequences when we break them, but what about God’s rules? In the Bible God gives us many rules to live by, for example: Luke 6:37 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” He gives us the Ten Commandments. He tells us to love God with all of our heart. Many of God’s rules are simple and easy to follow, yet often we choose not to follow them. Why?


Is it because while we are in our earthly bodies nobody is here to hold us accountable for judging our neighbor? Perhaps it’s because we will not owe a fine if we condemn our brothers and sisters because they are different? We certainly will not be thrown in jail for failing to love God with our whole hearts! Could it be because it just takes too much love and hope to forgive someone when they have wronged you? Is it simply easier to follow man’s law because it takes less work? Maybe it’s because God’s law is harder to uphold and follow each and every day. Perhaps it is because besides God, you are the only one that can truly know if you are abiding by His rules.

I suppose my first idea for the message: “How do I give to God?” could be answered with rules, too! One way you can give to God is to consistently follow His rules. Many times we seek answers to the adult never-ending why’s only when we are feeling depressed and abandoned by God. We turn to God when we need prayers, when we’re confused, when we’re scared. Maybe we even change the way we live for a while. When we need God’s rules to apply to our life, we remember to forgive freely and love boldly. We are consistent and obedient followers of Christ when we need His love and grace, but when we are on more steady ground, more capable of walking on our own, we often forget to follow the rules as closely.

Sometimes obeying all of God’s rules is difficult. It might seem like they are too hard to follow or that the expectations are too high, but if you break down the problem and pretend you are going to teach the rules to a child, you might be able to grasp the difficult rules and understand that the expectations aren’t too high, you just need to try harder!

Some of the answers to the never-ending whys are obviously man’s rules, some are obviously God’s rules, but some are both. Every day we must follow the rules set by man, but we should give even greater effort to follow the rules set by God. The challenging part for me is not remembering the rules or even classifying them into man’s or God’s rules, but how to follow them consistently and without fail in both times of trial and in triumph.

Pay your taxes to the government, but remember to give to God what is God’s. Give Him your love, open up your heart and let Him in, give freely of your forgiveness; use your ability to follow His rules each and every day. Not because you are scared of the consequences. Not because you fear what might happen to you if you don’t strive to follow his rules each day. Instead, struggle each day to follow the rules out of gratitude and love for God’s Grace. Be thankful that even if we bend a rule and even if we break a rule because of God’s Grace, we are forgiven. It is not because of our good deeds or because we follow the rules that we are saved, but because of His Grace. Only by the Grace of God are saved from our sin. If you’re having trouble following the rules, break them down as if you were explaining them to a child.

[Oh and my first ending was MUCH more harsh than this...like Solomon-y harsh:)]

Extra prayers tonight for Mommy, Daddy and family that will soon induce labor, but will not get to bring the baby home.

Extra prayers to my friends trying to get pregnant.

Extra prayers to my friends that still struggle with the loss of their angels.

Extra prayers for healthy deliveries for my friends that will soon bring new life into this scary world.

Praying and sending my love and support.

Everything is just wonderful-repost

Dearest friend, It is alright to not be sunshine and rainbows when you hear results like you have recently heard. It is normal to ask God why! It is ok to yell and be mad! I agree with your logic...you have been through enough with your sis...NOT FAIR!

How do I know that it's ok to be mad...even mad at Him? Because I was too! I love you and I hope you know that I'm hear to listen if you need me! Love your girlie. Still here, still praying.


THIS IS A REPOST FROM MY PRIVATE BLOG 10-4-10

How are you today? How was your weekend? How is everyone holding up? How is your dad doing? Do you need anything?

All simple questions. All have answers. Most of the answers are not answers you really want to hear, but you ask anyways because you care about me. Some days I want to answer, most days I do not.

The point of this post is not to make anyone feel sad, bad, or even stop you from asking, but to tell you that I am not the same. I am not the same person that I normally am. The past week I can barely find energy to care if I have mascara on. I have hives almost daily. I feel stressed all day. I find it very difficult to concentrate at work. I'm fairly certain I have experienced a panic attack (or two).

Most of my day I think about what I'm going to go home to or research brain cancer in between assignments. Think about how my dad is going to act tonight. Will he say thank you or be angry when I help? Will he try to get up unassisted and fall? Can I hide the emotions from my children so I don't loose my temper with them? Will I be able to sleep when I lay down? Will I have nightmares once I do fall asleep? What will I wake up to once I manage to sleep?

I'm just not the same. So, if I respond "fine", don't pressure me. If I don't come to a meeting or perform the way you expect me to, know that right now I'm not the same. If I miss a detail I normally would not overlook, know that I am not the same. I do appreciate the concern and I will let you know if I want to talk about it, but if I don't respond the way you expect me to, please understand, I'm not the same.

So, my response to how are you today? Or how was your weekend? Or how is your dad? Or how is everyone holding up?

Is...

EVERYTHING'S JUST WONDERFUL, HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE!

"Everything's Just Wonderful"

Do you think, everything, everyone, is going mental,
It seems to me that it's spiraling outta control and it's inevitable,
Now don't you think,
This time is yours, this time is mine,
It's temperamental,
It seems to me, we're on all fours,
Crawling on our knees,
Someone help us please

Oh Jesus Christ almighty,
Do I feel alright? No not slightly,
I wanna get a flat I know I can't afford it,
It's just the bureaucrats who won't give me a mortgage,
Well it's very funny cos I got your fucking money,
And I'm never gonna get it just because of my bad credit
Oh well I guess I mustn't grumble,
I suppose that's just the way the cookie crumbles.

Oh yes, I'm fine,
Everything's just wonderful,
I'm having the time of my life.

Don't you want something else,
Something new, than what we've got here,
And don't you feel it's all the same,
Some sick game and it's not insincere,
I wish I could change the ways of the world,
Make it a nice place
Until that day, I guess we stay,
Doing what we do
Screwing who we screw

Why can't I sleep at night,
Don't say it's gonna be alright,
I wanna be able to eat spaghetti bolognaise,
and not feel bad about it for days and days and days.
In the magazines they talk about weight loss,
If I buy those jeans I can look like Kate Moss,
Oh no it's not the life I chose,
But I guess that's the way that things go,

Oh Jesus Christ almighty,
Do I feel alright? No not slightly,
I wanna get a flat I know I can't afford it,
It's just the bureaucrats who won't give me a mortgage,
Well it's very funny cos I got your fucking money,
And I'm never gonna get it just because of my bad credit
Oh well I guess I mustn't grumble,
I suppose that's just the way the cookie crumbles.