Encourage

Just breathe. LOVE. Survive.  BELIEVE.

Without actually stating aloud a mantra each year, I have embraced one or two mantras the last few years.  "Just breathe" was swirling around in my head as I said goodbye to my dad; as I wished and prayed for his peace. "LOVE" took over in the year or so after he passed as I tried my hardest to concentrate on the love that surrounded me and "my people". I didn't choose "survive", it chose me.  Yet, I certainly did live it in 2013.  I hope I always have "believe" in my thoughts and in my heart, but I tried to focus a lot of energy on it as I paved my path to my "new normal" in 2014.

I've been trying to think of what word/phrase I want to concentrate this year and I think I have it.

 ENCOURAGE

So many times in life I catch myself competing.  Against my peers at the office and in the legal industry.  Against my husband for a war I really shouldn't WANT to win: who does more in the household to make it run effectively. Against other moms that are more creative and crafty than I am.  Against other woman that are more in shape and in style than I am (obviously, this is not a hard task if you take a glance at my facebook page and see my AWESOME gaucho pants).  Against other marriages to see how my own marriage matches up.  Against other friends for attention and time that seems to be so hard to find these days between the schedules we keep. Against my very own mind to feel accomplished/enough/satisfied.

I often read the encouraging words on Pinterest and pin them to a Pinterest board as a reminder to myself.  I write little encouraging notes to myself in my planner and in my faith journal.   I speak encouraging words often to my monsters, spouse, family and friends.

Yet, I often find myself fighting the urge to rise up and attack when push comes to shove.  In all honesty, I would have to admit that one of my coping mechanisms is deflection.  It's pretty easy for me to sway an argument in my favor when I use deflection and/or talk down to the person I am communicating with.  Aaron has called me out on this behavior multiple times and I try really hard not to speak to him in a demeaning and venomous tone anymore.  Still, it is very easy for me to revert to deflection and use a demeaning tone when I am feeling defensive or insecure.

In an attempt to have more authentic and real relationships with my loved ones, I am going to concentrate on "ENCOURAGE" this year with the notion that it will be contagious.

Before I react, I am going to think of ways to find the good, concentrate on building others up and encourage them.  Rather than defense, I want to play offense using encouragement.

I've started testing this word: encourage.  Most of the time, encouraging behavior comes natural to me.  However, when I'm insecure and unsure, it's difficult for me to do.  When my feelers are hurting, it is hard to step away and find something positive to focus on.  I have a hard time keeping my BIG MOUTH shut long enough to listen.  I realize that I'm going to slip up and make mistakes, but I'm going to forgive myself and encourage myself to try harder and do better.  I'm still going to be in competition, but competition only with myself.

So, I'm not really making any resolutions this year.  Usually, I vow to eat clean, workout or schedule weekends of nothing, but I'm going to be gentle on myself this year.  Instead of giving up food I love or clearing my schedule, I'm going to focus my energy on encouraging myself and others.

Enjoy

Nice

Communication

Of

Understanding,

Reassurance,

Appreciation, (and)

Genuine

Encouragement.

Encourage positive change.  

Encourage hard work and dedication.  

Encourage learning and creativity. 

Encourage love and forgiveness. 

XOXO,

PS: I haven't check in health wise in quite a while.  Positive check up with plastic surgeon last week.  My insurance has approved the final step in foob creation and I selected a date to have (HOPEFULLY) my last foob surgery in a few months. I am clear to workout, but it's so much easier to sit on the couch;) I have a follow-up with my radiation oncologist this week and then I should be free of appointments for a few months! Overall though, my health looks good.  I have a few side effects from the maintenance drugs that are annoying, but manageable.

Nina has ENCOURAGED me to blow dry and use a straightener on my hair, but like I said, I'm not really that great at listening!! She probably wishes I would inquire about her amazing foundation (or eyeliner, mascara, blush, nail polish remover or hair product too):))  I'm just trying to encourage this year though!! Sheesh!