When I was younger, admittedly, I was a mean girl. I've never watched the "Mean Girls" show, but I don't need to. I can remember joining in the mean girl talk and even when I didn't join in, I was silent and didn't stick up for the person being picked on. I only remember one incident that I was caught being a mean girl, but there were many others where I just didn't get caught.
Now that I have daughters that I'm trying to raise into kind and caring young ladies, I'm wondering IF you can grow out of being a mean girl? And if you can't, can you teach your daughters how to be different?
The other night one of my daughter's friends was visibly upset. I approached her and told her not to worry about it. She said, "But, Cruella said it was all my fault". I'm thinking my response was probably still a response a mean girl would give: "Don't worry about Cruella, she makes mistakes all the time!"
My next line was that it is a team sport and it takes the entire team to win AND lose. It wasn't her mistake that lost the game, but the mistakes by EVERYONE on the team. **A MUCH more effective way to boost Sunshine back up without singling out Cruella**
But, my first instinct was to attack Cruella. Defense and deflection do not help the problem at hand and really they only fuel future animosity.
Another protection mechanism I fully utilize is sarcasm. Although I think it's AWESOME when Lilly uses sarcasm properly, it's probably a life skill that is NOT necessary if I'm trying to raise well rounded, anti-bullying children.
Maintaining many life-long relationships where sarcasm, deflection, and defense are still very much alive, I do think it's possible to have good relationships with these protective mechanisms in place. Most of my very closest relationships are the ones where these descriptive words ring the most true to me. But, wouldn't it be better if we didn't have to use them?
Sarcasm is second nature to me. Even though I have been working on being the best form of me, I ALWAYS return to sarcasm when I am feeling wounded or broken. Over the years, many people have asked me: Are you being serious or sarcastic?? Sometimes there is a fine line between joking and down right mean.
What do you think? Mean girl for life? Can you break the mold?
This, right here, is my best mean girl face!! ;)
XOXO,
Laura
Now that I have daughters that I'm trying to raise into kind and caring young ladies, I'm wondering IF you can grow out of being a mean girl? And if you can't, can you teach your daughters how to be different?
The other night one of my daughter's friends was visibly upset. I approached her and told her not to worry about it. She said, "But, Cruella said it was all my fault". I'm thinking my response was probably still a response a mean girl would give: "Don't worry about Cruella, she makes mistakes all the time!"
My next line was that it is a team sport and it takes the entire team to win AND lose. It wasn't her mistake that lost the game, but the mistakes by EVERYONE on the team. **A MUCH more effective way to boost Sunshine back up without singling out Cruella**
But, my first instinct was to attack Cruella. Defense and deflection do not help the problem at hand and really they only fuel future animosity.
Another protection mechanism I fully utilize is sarcasm. Although I think it's AWESOME when Lilly uses sarcasm properly, it's probably a life skill that is NOT necessary if I'm trying to raise well rounded, anti-bullying children.
Maintaining many life-long relationships where sarcasm, deflection, and defense are still very much alive, I do think it's possible to have good relationships with these protective mechanisms in place. Most of my very closest relationships are the ones where these descriptive words ring the most true to me. But, wouldn't it be better if we didn't have to use them?
Sarcasm is second nature to me. Even though I have been working on being the best form of me, I ALWAYS return to sarcasm when I am feeling wounded or broken. Over the years, many people have asked me: Are you being serious or sarcastic?? Sometimes there is a fine line between joking and down right mean.
What do you think? Mean girl for life? Can you break the mold?
XOXO,
Laura
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