Prayers, Prayers and More Prayers

 I wasn't going to post about Robin Williams.  I wasn't going to post about depression.  I wasn't going to post about grief or sadness.  I wasn't going to post at all again this week.

Then I got an email notification that a friend re-pinned one of my pins.  I clicked on Pinterest and below is a picture of my most recent pin.  My one and only Robin Williams quote was pinned right around the time he was feeling his most alone.

"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up alone.  It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone." ~Robin Williams

 Obviously, like all of you, I am morose with the news of this tragedy.  To know that anyone is hurting so terribly and that they feel so trapped, is disheartening.  How does it get to the point that someone that seemingly "has it all", feels like they have nothing left to share with the world or that it's not worth fighting the battles in their head anymore?

This afternoon, I shot one of my favorite friends a text and we started chatting.  She told me about her weekend.  She is eerily similar to me in many ways...she's a FIXER.  She is the first person to SHOW UP for sooooooo many people.  Anyways, she told me a story about her weekend.  Although the story was sad, it was powerful and nearly unbelievable; ironic to put it lightly.  She had my head spinning as I read her words.  It is not my story to share or my situation to "fix", but the pain I feel for her and her loved ones is palpable and real.

 So, when I got the Pinterest email, I continued thinking about the "Why's" and the notion that some believe in (Everything happens for a reason; Just Believe) and felt compelled to share.

Is it just irony that I pinned my one and only quote by Robin Williams the last night he was alive on Earth?  Is it just irony that I texted my friend yesterday out of the blue which opened the door for her to share just a tiny bit of her pain with me?  There's a great possibility.  But, just in case it was so that I would use my words to reach someone, I will.


Depression is tough.

When people try to push, your first reaction is to pull.  If they try to get you to let them in, you shut them out.  When someone asks if you need to talk, you are silent. Even when every cell in your body is screaming to let the words spill out, your words are trapped in a vault you have created in your head.

Let it all out, they say, but you know you must spare them your hurt.

Bury it.

Put on the smile.

Be brave. Be strong.

But it doesn't have to be that way.  Your loved ones will love you even when you're weak.  If you let them, they will help you chip away at the brick wall you have built.  They will even help you clear the rubble when you finally get it to fall.  They will be your biggest supporters when you are able to stand alone again and smile with ease instead using your smile as a mask.

But you still have to be brave and strong.  It takes courage to ask for help, but it's worth it.

And if you know someone that is struggling, keep pushing when they pull.  Remind them that you are still there whenever they need you. Day or night, you will make time for them.

Praying for the family and friends of Robin Williams. Praying for the family and friends of the young girl killed this weekend in a car accident.  Praying for all of the people struggling with depression.

Prayers, prayers and more prayers,