Showing Up

Earlier this week I started a post titled: Busy Mom Against the World-Ship is Sinking.  I was going to write a post about the sinking ship.  It started like this: 

I started a series a two and a half years ago that gave some pointers that I use to juggle all of the balls that are always in the air without dropping too many of them.  I think I only wrote two/three posts on the subject, but either way I FELT pretty confident in my circus act.  All of the balls could be in the air simultaneously and rarely did I let any drop.

The balls vary during different seasons (of the year and of your life), but the most important ones never change: Family, Friends, Church, Work, Charity, Community Involvement, Exercise, Housework, Extra Curricular Activities, Etc.

I started that post a few days ago...before a couple friends voiced their concerns about me dropping their ball. I was already feeling stretched thin before they brought it to my attention, now I just feel like I'm close to dropping all of the balls. I'm tired of juggling them.  My head constantly aches and I'm tired, but I still have to show up.

If my children ask me what is important to maintain a good friendship, I tell them to show up (and be honest and caring and kind and...).  When your friend needs you, be there. Always.  One of my monsters has a friend that's dealing with some life issues right now.  I feel bad when I have to tell her no because I know she needs her friends right now.  I make every attempt to make time for her and my monster to play because I understand that the friendship bond is one of the strongest bonds people can share.

I thought I had this friendship thing down, but I hear that it's one of the balls that's close to dropping with my 'new normal'.  When someone calls and says they need me/miss me, I find time, but if nobody is facing a crisis, I'm just as content to lay on the couch and read while Aaron plays video games.  I used to have something scheduled every night of the week, but these days, I'm just as likely to be found in my pajamas by 6pm.  (I sent a few pairs to a friend having surgery and when Aaron brought them to his mother, he commented: What are you going to wear for the couple month/so?!?! He was only half joking...so I reminded him that I have 6 pair of pjs now and I'm only sending her 3!)

Anyways, back to the subject.  If you're going to be a good friend you have to show up. Not just when someone is in need, but always.  I'll probably get to the point where I thank them for the blunt reminder, but right now I'm just trying to digest the fact that they feel like the ball is falling through the air, deciding whether it will bounce back or slowly dribble to a stop.

When you're hurt, it's the hardest for passionate people to stay calm, it's more difficult to use grace and love, it's the hardest to show up.

This year I've fought/argued/disagreed/hurt feelers/had hurt feelers with my friends and family more than I have since I was 20ish. (Believe it or not, I used to be much MORE opinionated than I am now!! I know this is very hard to believe, but it's true!! ;)) I suppose it's because I needed to grow some more as a person. (I wish I could stop growing more physically, but I can't seem put down the girl scout cookies or the Lays Wavy OR pick up the remote and push start on the workout dvds!)  Anywho, I suppose I needed a few lessons on friendship. Growing through life is always a good thing.  Recognizing your mistakes, wrong turns, and failures is one of the best ways to grow.

I know that true friends disagree and the kinks work themselves out over time.  I spent some time with one of my friends that I had a disagreement with this year over the weekend and it was like we never missed a beat.  We laughed and hugged. She knows that I love her and I know she loves me.  Sometimes friendship is work, but you have to keep showing up.

How do you show up? Are you on time to catch and toss it back up or do you let the ball drop sometimes? 

Trying to juggle with grace,






This picture is only because I make fun of all my friends with gray hair and tell them that they need to color their hair!!  1 inch roots are the style...I'm making it a trend! (Really, I'm going today to get it done, but look how fast it's growing!! YAY!)