Daddy's Girl
Today I am feeling exceptionally calm considering the tornado that is swirling around my head. Usually this means "the calm before the storm", but my shoulders are aching with tension so I'm going to take the moment to be thankful.
We went on vacation with our friends this weekend. We went to a quaint little cottage on a lake that didn't have much to do but relax. I had been looking forward to spending time with my children, Ron and some of our best friends since we scheduled the trip. We haven't had much time with just our family recently and we were all anxiously awaiting the getaway.
I knew that the trip would not go as planned. Lately nothing seems to. I told a couple of my friends that I was looking forward to it; therefore, something would happen to prevent me from going. We planned to leave after school on Thursday. My dad fell and broke his other hip Thursday afternoon. Once I loaded the van and kids, I assisted my Mom and Uncle Paul in getting my Dad back to our house and comfortable. I did not know that his hip was broken, but had strong notion that something was.
My brother was already planning to come home the following day so we decided to go ahead with our planned vacation. We had already planned to take two vehicles so that I could come home if necessary. Now it would certainly be necessary. I ended my vacation early to see my dad before surgery and be there to support my mom before during and after, but not before I relearned a very important lesson.
Two of my best friends have deadbeat dads. Honestly, this is the very best term I can use (I would describe them with much more disgust, but the fact remains that they are still their fathers and I am not entitled to write the things I really feel for them). Luckily, both of them have absolutely wonderful, strong and caring mothers that raised them to be truly unmatched friends, sisters, daughters and mothers. Both of my friends mothers were very fortunate to eventually find a good man to share their lives with and contribute to raising their wonderful daughters, but not before they struggled to support their children and comfort them for many years all alone.
To this day my friends have so many questions. How can someone leave their children? Did they really forget my birthday? Why doesn't my dad care about me? All of my friends fathers are teaching them how to ride a bike, why isn't my dad? How can they not want to watch me cheer at a football game? Why don't they want to see me all dressed up for homecoming? Why are his adopted children listed as his children, but not me or my sister?
Knowing that my heart is breaking right now, knowing that I can barely catch my breath these days, knowing that I am worried sick about my father laying in the hospital bed in agony, my friend thinks about all of these things. With tear-filled eyes she tells me how lucky I am. How lucky I am that I can say proudly that I am a Daddy's Girl. That I can remember him teaching me to ride a bike. I can remember him sitting in the stands, swollen with pride as he watched all my sporting events. I can remember him picking me up at two in the morning when my prom date failed me. I can remember when he bailed me out. I can remember when he brought me flowers when I delivered Lilly and how he called me crying because he was out of town when I had Camille. He couldn't wait to meet my children. I can remember how excited Keegan is to sit in Pipi's lap or how he used to tickle torture Lilly before he was too sick.
Today and always, so much love and my endless support to my dear friends for reteaching me this lesson when it was so needed. So very sorry that your sperm donors made you feel inadequate because you are not. It is truly their loss. So very thankful that your mothers are so wonderful and were able to raise you all to be such strong women.
I have a lifetime of memories that my father will leave me with. I am blessed to be married to someone that offers my children the same love and support that I received. Always willing to read them a book or tickle torture them. I am very fortunate to say the least.
So, today I am choosing to be thankful that I am a Daddy's Girl. I am thankful to have such wonderful friends that are willing to teach me from the pain they have endured. Even though I can feel my heart breaking as the cancer continues to take over my Dads body, I am thankful.
Today I am feeling exceptionally calm considering the tornado that is swirling around my head. Usually this means "the calm before the storm", but my shoulders are aching with tension so I'm going to take the moment to be thankful.
We went on vacation with our friends this weekend. We went to a quaint little cottage on a lake that didn't have much to do but relax. I had been looking forward to spending time with my children, Ron and some of our best friends since we scheduled the trip. We haven't had much time with just our family recently and we were all anxiously awaiting the getaway.
I knew that the trip would not go as planned. Lately nothing seems to. I told a couple of my friends that I was looking forward to it; therefore, something would happen to prevent me from going. We planned to leave after school on Thursday. My dad fell and broke his other hip Thursday afternoon. Once I loaded the van and kids, I assisted my Mom and Uncle Paul in getting my Dad back to our house and comfortable. I did not know that his hip was broken, but had strong notion that something was.
My brother was already planning to come home the following day so we decided to go ahead with our planned vacation. We had already planned to take two vehicles so that I could come home if necessary. Now it would certainly be necessary. I ended my vacation early to see my dad before surgery and be there to support my mom before during and after, but not before I relearned a very important lesson.
Two of my best friends have deadbeat dads. Honestly, this is the very best term I can use (I would describe them with much more disgust, but the fact remains that they are still their fathers and I am not entitled to write the things I really feel for them). Luckily, both of them have absolutely wonderful, strong and caring mothers that raised them to be truly unmatched friends, sisters, daughters and mothers. Both of my friends mothers were very fortunate to eventually find a good man to share their lives with and contribute to raising their wonderful daughters, but not before they struggled to support their children and comfort them for many years all alone.
To this day my friends have so many questions. How can someone leave their children? Did they really forget my birthday? Why doesn't my dad care about me? All of my friends fathers are teaching them how to ride a bike, why isn't my dad? How can they not want to watch me cheer at a football game? Why don't they want to see me all dressed up for homecoming? Why are his adopted children listed as his children, but not me or my sister?
Knowing that my heart is breaking right now, knowing that I can barely catch my breath these days, knowing that I am worried sick about my father laying in the hospital bed in agony, my friend thinks about all of these things. With tear-filled eyes she tells me how lucky I am. How lucky I am that I can say proudly that I am a Daddy's Girl. That I can remember him teaching me to ride a bike. I can remember him sitting in the stands, swollen with pride as he watched all my sporting events. I can remember him picking me up at two in the morning when my prom date failed me. I can remember when he bailed me out. I can remember when he brought me flowers when I delivered Lilly and how he called me crying because he was out of town when I had Camille. He couldn't wait to meet my children. I can remember how excited Keegan is to sit in Pipi's lap or how he used to tickle torture Lilly before he was too sick.
Today and always, so much love and my endless support to my dear friends for reteaching me this lesson when it was so needed. So very sorry that your sperm donors made you feel inadequate because you are not. It is truly their loss. So very thankful that your mothers are so wonderful and were able to raise you all to be such strong women.
I have a lifetime of memories that my father will leave me with. I am blessed to be married to someone that offers my children the same love and support that I received. Always willing to read them a book or tickle torture them. I am very fortunate to say the least.
So, today I am choosing to be thankful that I am a Daddy's Girl. I am thankful to have such wonderful friends that are willing to teach me from the pain they have endured. Even though I can feel my heart breaking as the cancer continues to take over my Dads body, I am thankful.
No comments:
Post a Comment