Lenten Discipline Like Never Before

Over the last four years or so, I have really dug into my faith.  I have even purposely walked into the wilderness during the season of lent.  I have given up things I enjoy and committed to additional time in prayer and reflection.  I have studied parts of the Bible that talk about the deep, dark wilderness.

This lent, I'm living my own wilderness except I didn't purposely walk into it this time.   The day before lent started I had my first round of taxotere chemotherapy.  Technically, my body wasn't ready to receive the treatment based on my blood work, but without the toxic chemo, my blood has little chance to recover on its own.  My cancer is taking up the space in my bone marrow where good red and white blood cells need to live and crowding them out so they die off before my body receives the things they normally deliver.  My body is currently very low on red blood cells.  Red blood cells deliver oxygen to your body.  This is why I'm not "tired", but instead exhausted.  My body is working in overdrive to do simple tasks.

Wednesday, the first day of lent, I received a blood transfusion of red blood cells to help with my production during this first round of chemotherapy.  The nurses thought I would feel a boost in energy within a couple days.

BUT, I didn't.  Instead I started having an allergic reaction.  The reaction started on my arm, but is now currently making me want to scratch my arm, back and thighs off in order to get a moment of relief. 

When I called the after hours call line, they suggested that I take Benadryl around the clock.  This started a four day Benadryl binge with little results besides effectively making me completely useless and sleep nonstop.  Yesterday I started a steroid which hopefully will finally calm the allergic reaction.  So far, the best treatment for the itching is a paste made of baking soda and water, in case you wondered.

Tonight I'm not drugged on Benadryl, only nondrowsy Claritin, so I thought I'd update...but Camille has decided to make the night a little more interesting.  She just threw up all over her bed.

I WAS going to talk about the wilderness, but as you can see, I'm directly in the middle this Lenten discipline like never before.

Embracing the wilderness and taking Piper outside to smell the fresh air instead of vomit-fest upstairs while that sweet little baby girl in the picture I posted today as #remember showers off the ick.

 

 

 

And honestly, I HOPE and PRAY this wilderness doesn't last the entire 40 days of lent;)

 

 

Oh and they aren't sure what's causing the reaction since I had chemo and blood back to back.  We will discuss the plan of action when I go back to the clinic to have a medport placed next Tuesday.  I have decided to have a port put in this time around for a couple reasons.  I can only be poked in my right arm since I had lymph nodes removed on my left and with the trial I'm on, they test my blood and run tests very often.  The port will save lots of IV sticks and offer them easy access to my craptastic blood.

 

 

All my love and never ending gratitude for everything and always for the prayers.

 

XOXO,

 

Laura