Amen

They really do listen!! SOMETIMES. Sometimes they don't listen when we want them to. Sometimes they listen when we don't want them to. Sometimes they are listening when we don't think they are!

Last night we attended the Ash Wednesday service. Before the church service, the monsters were full of questions:

Do we have to get ashes? (I told them it was up to them.)

Do we have to leave it on if we get them? (Only until we get home, but if you want to leave it on, you can. It will show your classmates that you believe if any of the ashes are left on your forehead tomorrow.)

Can I bring my DS? (No, but I SHOULD have said yes...AAHHHH!! Keegs is usually the only monster that sits with me for the entire church service. Having Camille and Keegan vying for my attention for the whole hour was trying (exhausting)!)

One of my awesome, beautiful, wonderful friends met us at church with her monsters and we attempted to keep them (SEMI)quiet during the service.

When we started the responsive part of Communion, Keegan whispered in my ear: Can you say "amen" for me two times?

I looked at him puzzled and agreed (mostly to shut him up). Does he mean that he wants me to say "amen" for him when he takes Holy Communion; the gift of His body and blood?

We continued with the responsive reading and he whispered again: Mom, it's not REAL blood, right?

He is talking about the expected reponse when you receive Communion!  No, bud, it's not real blood.  It's just supposed to remind us that Jesus died for us.  It's actually juice.   

When he's not whispering in my ear, he's kicking Cami and drawing elephants. The people around us would have NO CLUE that he's actually listening.  But, he's not only is he listening, he's trying to comprehend! My handsome, crooked-smiled, accident prone, monster is trying to grasp a concept that many adults don't understand.

Finally, it was our turn to take Communion. On the way up to the stage area, he squeezed my hand: I will say it, Mom.

AND...he walked up, waited for Denny to say "the body of Christ, given for you" and he answered "AMEN".  He walked over and waited for Linda to say "the blood of Christ, given for you" and answered "AMEN".

I MUST remember what a handsome, wonderful, Christian boy he is the next time he wets his pants. When we all sat down, they tried to decipher if their ashes were in the shape of a cross...or an elephant...or a jet plane.

The only thing I could think in that moment:

AMEN!

PS: My kids wore their pj's to church again.  I'm not sure how some people feel about pj's at church, but my kids think it's awesome:)  I think it's awesome to have baths and pj's on before 7pm, too! 

Photo a Day: Who am I?

http://rethinkchurch.org/lenten-challenge

JOIN ME!!  Even if you do it on fb or instagram and I can't check it out until Easter, it will be fun!

Day One: Who am I?

Sharpie: permanent, bold, in print: Princess (TO THE PRINCE OF PEACE!! Sheesh, I don't think I'm really a princess!)  A friend sent me a quick note yesterday telling me how refreshing it is for someone to speak openly about their love for God.  She said I am a princess to Him and I love it!  I'll probably start wearing a crown soon;)  I want all to know that I believe.  I put it in print in big, bold letters for all to see and share.

Pencil: I Love to write.  The release achieved when I write my thoughts out is wonderful, but unless I'm talking about my love for the One above, I use pencil.  I make mistakes...I NEED erasers and white out.  LOTS of white out.  When I write AND in life.  Every day I need erasers and white out and I need to re-write the story so that all of the characters suceed.

My life revolves around these three beautiful faces.  They give me a purpose and meaning to live to my potential.  Each and every day they remind me of the beauty in this world and push me to be a better person.

 

Post it: if I don't write a note to myself, I forget.  I try to maintain 1,200 things at one time.  I have to write it all down.

WHO AM I?  Depends who you ask!  Some would still call me a bitch.  Some would say that I'm amazing.  I think I'm somewhere in between. I'm pretty confident that anyone that would be questioned would have to admit that I am growing as a person and it's a result of my faith.


Join me for the photo a day challenge!  You don't have to write why you selected the photo if prefer not to explain.  Just post a picture!

I decided to do a scripture reading a day because Cheryl is and I'm a follower;)

I picked this site: http://stthomaseustis.com/Uploads/Assignment_Sheet_2013.pdf 

My favorite part of the Psalm reading today:

"May his name endure forever;
may it continue as long as the sun."



 

I choose Him

Game time

who wins

what's the prize

all chips in

 

so much to gain

so much to lose

in this game of life

 we all must choose

 

defeat or on top

whatever your fate

make the best choices

choose love, not hate

 

stop running in circles

just do your best

in all that you do

and in every mess

 

win or lose

there is only One

when all of it's over

and everything's done

 

I choose Him

He wants us to win

make the right decisions

 turn away from sin

 

I choose Him

the One who knows best

yet forgives when we lose

and loves us nevertheless

 

 

 

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Days Without Number

Jeremiah 2:32

New International Version (NIV)

³² Does a young woman forget her jewelry,
a bride her wedding ornaments?
Yet my people have forgotten me,
days without number.

 

Have you ever went through the motions for an entire day or a week or a month or a year or an entire season in your life?  Doing all of the things that you need to do, all that you're expected to do, often more, but you're too busy to stop and notice? Continuing to fulfill all obligations while cursing the activities and errands and meetings. So caught up in the list of "to-do's" that you're unable to contribute the way you're supposed to?  Unable to share the good pieces of you because you're focused on the next obligation or the next thing on the list?  Instead of sharing your light, the people you are with are left with the dark pieces of you.  What's left; what remains when you use your light to focus on 'what's next' or 'what time is it' or 'what can I wear' instead of being present.

 

I'm really trying to slow down and be more present. I'm consciously saying 'no' more often in attempt to live a more simple life.  Less rush here and fly there like I was doing and more eye to eye conversations with little monsters. I'm saying "no" to the time consuming, always running, self-induced activities that I try to maintain and balance. (I am really good at balancing and maintaining them, I'm not going to pretend that I'm not.) 

Yet I want more; I want to BE there for all of the moments and LIVE them, too.  We've all heard the slogan: make the days count. I want to live and breathe with purpose.  For Him.  I want to do more than just pull the strings and make the characters in the play move from behind the scenes.  No longer do I want days without numbers.  I want to be full and also to fill.  I understand that to be full I need Him.  I know that to fill, I need Him.

 

I need to listen to His whispers

on that chronic Christmas Eve.

I need to know that He forgives

when I stole something of His

that should've been free.

 

One of my friends has pointed out to me on a few occasions that my mood often sets the mood for others.  He can tell when I'm distant and not focused.  I suspect others can tell as well, but he's brave enough to point it out.  Usually he tries to restore my energy by giving me some of his positive energy: a high five, a crazy face, a "are you ok?" under his breath.  Sometimes that works; sometimes that's enough.  Sometimes he gives up and lets me live in my distant universe and waits until the next time he runs into me to ask how it was in my alternate world.

 

I understand that I'm like this when I have too many things going on at one time.  Usually it's not even too many activities.  More often it's too many thoughts racing through my mind.  I chase them and attempt to tackle them and try to connect them and it's exhausting.  But, it's what I know.  It's comfortable.

 

I also understand that in order to grow, it's often required to be uncomfortable. 

 

Honestly, the 'weekends in' are kind of difficult for me; a little uncomfortable.  I'm used to the busy, the rush, the feeling of being needed and wanted.  I have to really concentrate on being present when my mind starts to chase the thoughts.  I have to really concentrate on putting a number on the day, each and every day.  So that I am able to use the gifts He blessed me with each day.  Direct my thoughts to the important task at hand, whatever it might be.   Looking Cami in the eye 10,000 times and reassuring her that I love her and she's wonderful and perfect even if she's not brave enough to complete a tumbling class or sharing my good light with my volleyball buddies on the court instead of bringing all of my wandering thoughts to the game.

 

Sometimes it's easier to do what you know, what you've done all your life, days without number. But, I enjoy numbers.  I want my days to have numbers.

 

 

 

Connect the dots:  The yoga instructor played this song tonight.  I couldn't get it out of my head.  Looked up the video and the eye with flames was just too perfect for this song, at this season in my life.  It was only a couple weeks ago when I posted a picture of my broken eye.  I started my true faith journey on that chronic Christmas eve. I've been struggling with days without number.  Every day I feel a deeper calling and need to spread light.   I want to make something beautiful.
 

Conversations with Crackheads: Ma-weed

Me: Hey Twinkie, what time are we leaving?

Jess: I was thinking 730ish since it doesn't start til 8, but if you old bittys need to leave earlier than that, we can:) 

Ok, come over anytime after 6:30.  We don't care when we leave:P  Is Bryan coming to play with us?

He's debating, but he was pretty excited when I told him you guys were riding with us.

Good:)  I like to make fun of him!  Tell him I'm wearing tight jeans!  He has to come!

Haha!  He is fun to make fun of!  I am fun to make fun of, too.  That's why we are ma-weed!  He better not flip you upside down in to the tight jeans. They might rip!!

Love Ma-weed!  It reminds me of Miracle Max from the Princess Bride:)

I know it!  Did I tell you my uncle did an entire scene from that movie during the wedding rehearsal at the church?  Mawage...mawage is what bwings us togetha...hahaha...he talks like I spell!!

Bahaha!  I love you:) I threw a princess bride wedding shower for Laine:)  I love that he read that at the rehearsal!!

I know!! I think it threw PJ off a bit, but it was freaking awesome!  So the day of the wedding when he stepped up to do the reading, he winked at me and I had the hardest time not busting up :)

That's so cool:)  I don't think it would throw Jen...she already knows we're crackheads!! Now I'm scurred to wear my tight jeans though!! Might have to wear my mom jeans in fear of being bent over!

She ended up thinking it was funny, but her face at first was what made me laugh:)  I know it's going to be fun!  Maybe you should bring a spare pair of pants just in case!

I think it's more likely I'll piddle in my pants than split them!!

If you pee your pants, I'll just splash some water on mine so you don't fell left out!

Cracking up!! My co-workers probably think I really do smoke crack!!

You don't smoke crack!?!  Man, tonight's not going to be as fun as I thought it was!

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Find the grace...step away from the drama!

It's REALLY easy to find characteristics and traits in others that DRIVE US CRAZY. 

One of the secretaries at my office will not do the dishes.  REFUSES. She's been here for four months and I'm fairly confident that she hasn't done them once.  She can hear when the other secretary does them.  She can hear when I do them.  Does she think she's too good to do them?  Does she think she does more work than us?  Who knows?  I could easily let this eat at me.  I could feed the negative thoughts when the other secretary vents to me. 

Instead I've made a conscience decision to step away from the drama.  When the other secretary vents, I let her get it all out and then tell her 'thank you for doing the dishes'.  I usually continue to praise her and tell her that we really do appreciate that she helps out with the break room duties.  She feels appreciated and we both end up laughing because I refer to her as Cinderella.  I do the dishes on the days she isn't in the office.  It's not hard, it doesn't take much effort and normally I enjoy the break from my office.  Find the grace, step away from the drama.

When it's something I feel more passionately about, I have to use more focus to find the grace. 

For example, take a loaded question: Can you believe the way he-she-they acted?

It is SOOOOO easy to respond to this question with drama: No, can you?!  What is his-her-their deal?  Why does he-she or do they need to act like that? 

Practicing:  Oh, whatever, maybe they had a bad day (exhale)!  Do you have any fun plans for the weekend (inhale)?

Inhale the positive energy, exhale the drama! (Yes, I am really liking yoga AND I have successfully completed TWO 1.5 hour classes QUIETLY...no talking whatsoever!)

One of my friends posted a challenge to find three graces found in friends.  What a kick ass challenge!  I've been trying to find the good in others for a while now.  When you find all of the good things that others have to offer, it is much easier to let the characteristics that drive you batty, go! Poof, they're gone, you only see the person and their good light!

The secretary that doesn't like to do the dishes LOVES to talk about her grandbabies.  When she talks about them, her face lights up and she's a different person; a more lovable, kind soul that is full of grace.  When I don't want to do the dishes, I make it a point to ask her about her grandchildren after I've washed the last glass...and I don't feel bitter that I washed the glasses when I see the good light.

I'm going to try this with all of the wonderful people in my life...join me?




 

Conversations with Crackheads: Sexy is Hard Work

Crackhead: I attempted to RSVP for the 2 of us.  I'll let you know.

Me: Okie Dokie!

I also attempted to braid my hair this morning.  It was not pretty.

LOL!  You are second person to tell me that this week!

Maybe you should offer braiding lessons?

I can attempt to teach you anytime. For free:P Are you shopping at all before Saturday?  I need a mat.

Probably I need a birthday present for X.  Why don't you have Ben pick one up at Meijer?

Yeah, I could have Ben get one! Great idea! :)

I'm not only sexy- I'm smart too!!

Bahaha-did you just choke?

Hehe:) Love it!

Not only did I fail miserably at braiding my hair, I then did an at home Keratin treatment and I now look like I washed my hair in BABY OIL!!

Bahahaha!!! Are you shitting me?  You're toooooo much:)

Not shitting you...did it just before I had to be in Y's class...so I sprayed the heck out of it with dry shampoo:) and teased it!

Bahahah!! I'm so proud to be your friend!!!

And.......it lasts 6 WASHES!!!!

If you have thin hair, you have to use less;)

NO SHIT!!  I figured that out now!

Sexy is hard work!!!

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