Wisdom or Folly

 I have been very busy this week.  At work I'm swamped.  At home I'm swamped.  Games every night.  Parties all weekend.  Running through the stores to buy gifts and bread the day before each event.  Running running running. My MIL even claims that I'm slipping (she got an eye roll for that comment...how dare she question my ability to multitask the world). So Friday Fun is going to be short and sweet.

Wisdom or Folly

Two calls at the same time, which one do you take?

I often receive two calls at the same time.  Usually I choose who I talk to first according to the order of the call.  I rarely click over mid-conversation to take the other call.

For me, it's really not much different with wisdom and folly.  Folly called first.  I answered. I didn't click over after she called, but continued to enjoy her company.  I was unruly, a mocker, a scoffer.  During lunch with a friend this week, we giggled about how awful and rotten we used to be.   I laughed because if I let out how I truly felt about how I used to act, I'd probably cry.

I claim to have changed, but sometimes Folly calls first and I always pick up.  I'm getting better at clicking over when I notice that I'm talking to Folly, but it's still hard.  I mean, she is fun!  I still struggle to keep my mouth shut when I should. Yesterday I told an attorney to "bite me" for goodness sake! I'm still unruly.  I still fail often, but I'm working at it.  Every day I struggle to take the right call.

Which call will you take? 

If you pick up when Folly calls, will you realize who you're talking to and click over to Wisdom?

Proverbs 9

New International Version (NIV)

Invitations of Wisdom and Folly

9 Wisdom has built her house;
she has set up^[a] its seven pillars.
² She has prepared her meat and mixed her wine;
she has also set her table.
³ She has sent out her servants, and she calls
from the highest point of the city,
⁴ “Let all who are simple come to my house!”
To those who have no sense she says,
⁵ “Come, eat my food
and drink the wine I have mixed.
⁶ Leave your simple ways and you will live;
walk in the way of insight.”

 

⁷ Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults;
whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse.
⁸ Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you;
rebuke the wise and they will love you.
⁹ Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still;
teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.

 

¹⁰ The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
¹¹ For through wisdom^[b] your days will be many,
and years will be added to your life.
¹² If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you;
if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer.

 

¹³ Folly is an unruly woman;
she is simple and knows nothing.
¹⁴ She sits at the door of her house,
on a seat at the highest point of the city,
¹⁵ calling out to those who pass by,
who go straight on their way,
¹⁶ “Let all who are simple come to my house!”
To those who have no sense she says,
¹⁷ “Stolen water is sweet;
food eaten in secret is delicious!”
¹⁸ But little do they know that the dead are there,
that her guests are deep in the realm of the dead.

 

Outside Look at Surving a Stroke

Have you ever tried to sit in a crowd of people and listen to conversation and not say a word? Have you ever attempted to speak, but the words didn't come out? Did you become very frustrated and withdraw from social activities? If you have had a stroke you might be quick to answer yes to these questions.

It has been more than four years since my dad had a stroke. It has been almost seven years since he was diagnosed with lung cancer. He has been gone now for almost two.

He did live more than a year after his stroke with his cancer in remission.  During that time, he recalled more of the words that he searched for, but was never quite the same after the stroke. This post is dedicated to inform and assist others when they have a loved one that suffers from a stroke.

When a loved one suffers from a stroke it does not only change their life, but changes the lives of their loved ones as well. If you, as a loved one, are faced with the challenge of assisting a stroke survivor, this is my advice to you:

1. Research: Look at websites, magazines, order a book on surviving a stroke. Try to understand what is going on inside their head. Often survivors describe the beginning as being "trapped" inside their own minds. They know what they want to say, but it just doesn't come out.  Learning about life after a stroke can ease the survivors pain and hopefully make the transition into life after a stroke easier on everyone!

2. Get Organized: Whether you plan to do additional therapy or are just trying to manage the day to day activities, you will need to be organized.  Since speech is so often effected in stroke patients it can be hard to communicate basic needs without frustration.  Pictures of things that the patient may want/need can be helpful.  Instead of asking them a million questions, which can lead to further frustration, maybe you could set out a bunch of flashcards and ask them to pick which thing they are trying to ask for.  Examples could be a glass of water, sandwich, hair brush, toothbrush, newspaper, paper and pencil, remote control, etc.  Keep the questions to one word answers whenever possible.  Don't speak for the stroke patient if at all possible.  Give them time and encouragement to answer.

3. Don't get frustrated/be patient: Remember that your loved one is adjusting to a whole new normal.  Normal is no longer get a shower, eat breakfast, go to work.  New normal could be something like: I wonder if I will ever recover enough to go back to work?  I wonder if when I say I need soap, if I'm actually calling it soap because when I asked for soap, they brought me a toothbrush! 

4.  Realize that recovery takes time and the patient might not fully recover: As much as you might hope and wish that your loved one will fully recover, that is not always the case.  I am a big supporter of speech, occupational, and physical therapy.   The time to start the therapy is as soon as possible.   Do therapy as long and as often as the patient willingly puts forth the effort.  In the end, everyone needs to learn to live and love the "new normal".

The gray Rotork tshirt that my dad was wearing when he had the stroke is at the bottom of my tshirt drawer.  I remember my dad calling and not being able to get any words out. His co-worker grabbed the phone and told me that he was taking him to the hospital and to meet them there.  I remember helping him take the gray tshirt off when I arrived at the hospital and I took it home with me when I left.  Sometimes I wear it to bed and since he's gone now, that's just part of my new normal.

 I started this post a long time ago.  I'm sure the post would have been much more informative and supported with documentation of sites to check out when he had the stroke, but I threw out the binder after he passed away.  Hopefully, if this blog pops up when someone has questions about stroke patients, it will help them to feel a little less alone and a little more prepared...

Protect your child

Guest post today!  My personal opinion: I don't necessarily feel that the school bus should have to stop at every single house. I just think it should be fair and consistent.  Don't stop for some and not for others, ya know?

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better. It's not." Dr. Suess

Friend and neighbor of mine, go:

How far would you go to protect your child? How far would you go to protect someone else’s child? 

Communities gather and support causes, especially children’s causes openly and unapologetic, in record numbers, whether it’s raising money for a child who is battling an incurable disease or purchasing raffle tickets for an Athletics fundraiser. 

What if you were told your child wasn’t worth the effort?

My story: My first child started Kindergarten this year and I was informed that she was designated a “Walker” to the school.  I was confused.  There are children who live closer to the school than my child with the same lack of sidewalk and safety issues as I have, and they are being picked up in their driveways and less than 10 feet away from their homes.  Yet my 5 year old is expected to walk in the street and it was recommended that she walk across private properties to get her safely to school, by the School District.

An offer was made for a bus stop for my child. I temporarily agreed to this location. However this location still requires my child to walk in the street and across private property to get to this location.

On September 18th, 2012 I approached the School Board and asked for a Bus Stop to be designated in front of my house.  According to their current Policies and Procedures in place, I could request an exception be made based on the safety conditions, terrain, age of student, traffic, and lack of sidewalk.  I did my research and presented a very thorough case to the School Board.  I even offered reasonable suggestions to help resolve any future fiscal nightmares when it comes to their current P&P regarding Student Transportation. So I wasn’t approaching them selfishly.

The immediate response was that my request is denied.

How could they put a value of ZERO on my child?

So I’m reaching out to my Community to let you know what is happening in your Community. 

The School District denied the safety of a 5 year old child.
The School District denied any door to door bus service.  – I have videos of said door to door service.
    Staff Member’s children are receiving this door to door service, as well as other
    members of this community’s children. 
The School District claims that they serve the best interest of all students and the District.
    Are your children receiving door to door service?
The School District claims that bus stops are limited.
    Why are they picking up students at one location and then stopping at a second location
    approximately 200 feet away to pick up more children?  Can’t those children walk those 200
    feet to limit the extra stop? Is it that there are no sidewalks and that is why these children are
    getting door to door service?  Or is it because the School District is offering Special Treatment to
    certain people and not others?
The School District claims when a funding issue arises the first thing they look at is busing.
The School District is not required to bus students grade nine through twelve. However, they shall provide busing grades K-8. 
    So why would they emphasize cutting busing in a meeting about a 5 year old?



The School District has passed up multiple opportunities to receive Federal Funding administered by ODOT to offset costs to the Taxpayer for improving Safety Conditions, i.e. sidewalks, crossings, and education.   $16 million dollars was dispersed in May for 68 projects ranging from $2,000 to $500,000.
http://www.dot.state.oh.us/news/Pages/Millions-Awarded-to-Local-Communities-Through-ODOT’S-.aspx

I ask you again….how far would you go to protect your child or someone else’s?  What is a child worth?

How much effort would it have taken for the School District to be compassionate and exercise reasonable care for my child?  3 minutes and a trip around the block.

Don’t you think there should be a fair and consistent standard?

Right is RIGHT, no matter how unpopular it is.

For more information contact
mrs.carabrown@yahoo.com 

Conversations with Crackheads: Surprise!

D: Is your social soul good now? I caught up on your blog the other day. You're not addicted to sadness, you're addicted to people.

Even after I told them that I knew what they were planning and invited a few more people to the party, they insisted that I leave my own freaking house so that I could be surprised.  They had spent all day baking, shopping and making party favors:)  AND, I was surprised because they put so much effort into making my day special for me:)  Mojitos, margaritas, candy cigs, balloons, signs, moustaches, beer, wine...you name it, they brought it.  AND they attempted to jump out and scare me, but they were laughing too hard to actually yell "SURPRISE"!

We all had a lovely time, sipped on a few cocktails and all of the lame people (that had to work the next day) left before the dance party and conversations with crackheads;))  (Oh, I must add a super great big thank you because my friends dropped everything at the last minute to come humor me...I even pulled Kristin out of bed:))  But once it was just the hosts and Ron, we started talking about really important things...like biscuits and gravy.

D: Have you seen the show Honey Boo Boo?

A, Me, Ron: ummm, no, we've seen the previews, it looks redic.

D (in her deep, southern drawl voice): OMG, it is sooooo funny.  In one episode the pregnant daughter yells to her mom: Momma, my biscuit hurts, I need to go to the hospital.

Me: Her biscuit hurts?

D: Yeah, the baby is ready to come, it hurts down there, she calls it her biscuit.

A and Ron at the same time: WHAT?!?

D (directed toward Ron): What would you do if Laura told you that her biscuit hurt?

Ron (With...wow...I don't really know what to call it- maybe a rocking motion? Who knows, it was ugly!): I'd give her some gravy.

D, A, Me, Ron: HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER

 Conversations with Crackheads: SURPRISE!!

Busy Mom Conquers the World #1

I'm asked how we fit everything in quite frequently so I thought I'd write some of my tips.  Some of them are serious, some of them are for your entertainment, some of them are learned by finding out what DOESN'T work:) I will try to add a post each month or so. 

HOW TO SCHEDULE IN ONE-ON-ONE TIME:
Have one child "help" with the dishes (also known to slow down the washing process significantly, but the benefits are worth it).  Also works with dusting, laundry, etc. Forced one-on-one time while accomplishing housework.  The child feels needed and you can catch up on their day.

ON ORGANIZATION:
Keep all sporting gear together in one place.  All soccer uniforms, socks, pads, cleats, bows to match the uniforms are in Lilly's room.  Leotards are in Camille's room. This way when they all have games and we have 2.2 minutes to get dressed, I know that everyones "stuff" is ready, in the same spot and ready to go.  (Tell your husband that you have all of the stuff organized or the plan fails when you're not home...miserably!)

ON GETTING THINGS DONE:
Leave the basket of unfolded socks sit in the living room long enough (SOMETIMES OVER A MONTH) that your mom/husband finally matches them because she/he is sick of looking at them.  (I'm really good at this one!!)

THIS WILL BE MY FAVORITE SECTION (if I continue and make Busy Mom Tips a series)...HOW TO BE ON TIME:
While monsters are eating, do their hair.  They are concentrating on putting the food in their mouths and move less than if they are biting/kicking/pushing each other:)  Putting on shoes while eating is also a time saver, but then they do have to walk on the carpet to brush teeth (unless you grab the toothbrushes and have them brush downstairs:))

More on why!

Last night we stopped at my moms house after the soccer game because she invited the kids over.  She let a few tears slip out when she was telling us that her friend from work was diagnosed with the dreaded C word. 

Mimi and Lilly:

It's just not fair!  She just retired. She's just the nicest woman.

Life's not fair, Mimi. Mom tells us that all of the time.

Yeah, I know Lil, that's why you have to have as much fun as you can because you just never know!

Why?

Just because.  Did you have fun today? (Attempt to deflect the answer on her heart)

Because you never know when you're going to die?

Yes, Lilly, because you never know when you're going to die.

  Lilly was satisfied with her answer once she had the truth and my three monsters went on to play basketball, but my mom was still visibly struggling when we left.  Hopefully the video of her handsome grandson helped a little, but really what she wants is an answer to this why!  An answer that so many of us ask without receiving an answer.

This morning I logged into facebook and read two status updates that brought me back to this conversation between my mother and my child.

One from a friend begging prayers for her dear friend that was suddenly a widow.   Her friend, left to pick up the pieces and start over again, without her husband by her side.  How can you not ask WHY!!? How can you not scream WHY from the very top of your lungs??

And then I read another update.  An announcement of the birth of a miracle baby! A baby that the two loving parents hoped and dreamed for, but thought the possibility of this happening, especially one month before her Daddy started chemo, was pretty slim.  They already knew that his counts would be low since the yucky C word was in his young, otherwise healthy body.  The odds weren't in their favor, but God had a plan.  He knew that they needed Ella Grace.  They prayed for her.  She was perfectly packaged as she grew in her Mommy's belly. The hope, the love, the wonder-ever present in her parents' eyes, even while her Daddy was fighting for his life. (Yes, the same people that I was begging prayers for last year when they found their way through the road to recovery, Danny and Ashley DeVito, delivered the most perfect little girl bright and early this morning.  They are so very ready to enjoy new bumps on the road...like sleepless nights and dirty diapers:) Oh, and while we're talking about the DeVito's, they're ditching the recovery part of the road, too!  Danny's scans are clear and clean:))

This morning I am not any closer to answering the "why's" than I was when I first really started digging into my faith. Honestly, when I hear about good people in bad situations, my first question is still WHY!

BUT- I have learned that He is always with me, just as He is always with you...and my mom and her friend...and Linda and her friend...and Ella and her proud parents.  I am going to take Mimi's advice and have as much fun as I can every day because you just never know.  When I'm really struggling with the "why's", I will seek comfort in His words and search for hope in the pain. Ella Grace is my best example of His loving grace today, but if you look around, it's everywhere.  In the snoring choir concert that I attended this morning in my very own bed.  In the beauty of the sunrise each morning. In the difficult conversations with inquisitive, beautiful almost eight year old girls.  All around.

Prayers to my many friends that need them today.  Prayers that they will all be surrounded with God's loving grace.  Happy Birthday, Ella Grace!

  

Source: myblessedlife.net via Lisa on Pinterest

For the record...

It cracks me up when people ask me if a post is about them or, better yet, if they know that I'm not writing about them, but suspect who I am writing about and just have to know who it is.

For the record: If you think I'm writing about you, maybe I am!

Maybe I'm not...does it really matter?  Sometimes I'm just writing to write and not anyone in particular at all! 

And no, it doesn't bother me when you ask.  If I don't want to tell you-I won't, but it makes me smile when you ask:)

Addicted to a Certain Kind of Sadness

What kind of sadness are you addicted to?

I have listened to the song at the bottom of the post quite a few times. It's played on the radio, I've watched them perform the song live on a late night show, I think it's even on my iPod, but a few days ago I heard it on the radio and this line really stuck with me.  I have never really thought about addiction as harmful behavior outside of substance dependence addiction until I couldn't get this line out of my head!  I mean, it's not like you can die from being addicted to shopping or gambling or computer or sex, but I understand that you can be addicted to them. 

Can you be addicted to a certain kind of sadness?

Webster defines addiction as the quality or state of being addicted. 

People seek adrenaline.   I believe they are called adrenaline junkies (which certainly sounds like an addiction to me)!

But sadness?  Can you be addicted to a certain kind of sadness?  I think so.  Maybe, probably, addiction isn't the perfect word, but I think sometimes I feed off of a certain kind of sadness and maybe even seek more of it.

Maybe you are oversensitive to bullying/your child being excluded because you were bullied/left out as a child. Any time your child isn't invited somewhere or you feel that they are left out, does it make you sad for them?  I understand wanting your child to be included and treated right, but when they are excluded, do you let the sadness take over your thoughts, obsess over the "why isn't my child invited?" or "why are the other children excluding my child?"

Or what if you have a difficult problem that you're trying to find the answer to and you start to obsess over it?  We have a client that is fully capable of gathering the necessary information and dropping it off at our office, but they're scared that they are missing something or we will not be satisfied with the documentation provided or something.  They obsess about it and continue to put it off as if the problem will solve itself. 

Grief is a certain kind of sadness that I had to work very hard not to become addicted to.  When I wanted to stay in bed all day, I forced myself to get up, but it would have been very easy to just lay there numb and let the days pass by.   I can totally understand how people can be addicted to this kind of sadness.

What about if you're feeling hopeless in any given situation?  The negative thoughts continue to breed and fester, you focus on the bad, awful, unspeakable, unthinkable-until you're ready to break.

I think I'm certainly drawn to people in need.  If I know that someone is hurting, I feel the need to somehow, someway, make it better.  If I can't make it better, I need to at least let them know that I'm here. Is that an addiction to a certain kind of sadness? 

A friend told me earlier this week that you can't bring a problem to the table without offering a solution.  Well, I'm over writing this week.  All of my creativity has been used up in preparation for Rally Day and I really don't want to offer any solutions today (and I'm still addicted to a certain kind of sadness, so I'd just be blowing smoke up your ass;))




Are you addicted to a certain kind of sadness?